EXTERN

Chapter 13

 

Per’s Part.

 

Heavy bass thundered through a popular bar near the university.

 

“Why the hell are you this heartbroken, Per?”

 

“Exactly! You’ve broken up with loads of girls before and never gave a shit.”

 

“…Or is it because you broke up with a guy, Hia? Is that why you’re this devastated?”

 

Right now, the famously cool Hia Per of Gear Acha was sitting with his beloved code junior, Mud, along with the rest of the third-year gang, including my biological half-brother, Night, and my dear friends who’d probably have to sit and pray before the Dark-Hearted Dog God and Kind-Hearted Cat Goddess that the four of us would actually manage to graduate together: Kung, Moo and Muek.

 

…Why the fuck am I suddenly craving mixed spicy salad?

 

“Yeah! Because I got dumped, that’s why!!!”

 

“Are you upset because it’s the first time you’ve ever been dumped, or because you don’t get to talk to Doctor Kan anymore?”

 

My expressionless little brother spoke up as though he was afraid he wouldn’t get any lines.

 

Actually, his face wasn’t expressionless. It was just stiff from Botox. If he moved it too much, the whole fucking thing might end up crooked!

 

HAHAHAHA!

 

“I’m upset because… she left without even saying goodbye~ I didn’t have time to prepare my heart~ I can’t eat, I can’t sleep~ even sugar tastes bitter in my mouth~”

 

“Oh! Here comes the song!”

 

As soon as my drinking buddies provided the backing vocals, I, someone who normally acted drunk even when completely sober, became even more wasted under the influence of alcohol blessed by our esteemed Dog God and Cat Goddess. So naturally, I grabbed the bottle. Because obviously it had now transformed into a wireless microphone.

 

“…You nearly killed the one who loved youuu~ Like a tiger that’s lost all its stripes~ I’ve been hurting until this very daaay~ Eee-ee-ee!”

 

Clang! Clang!

Our drinking equipment began transforming just like something out of a Disney cartoon. We now had drums, drumsticks, guitars, basses, keyboards….

 

Engineering students truly possessed extraordinary imaginations. Especially once alcohol entered our bloodstream.

 

“One! Two! Threeee! HEY!! A farewell party for all this pain and sorrow that hurts so much! A farewell party for you and him, may your love last forever! I wish you happiness, now you’re free from this person you never wanted! Ah-ah-ah-ahhh! Put the bill on me! I’ll buy all this heartbreak—I’ll pay for it myseeelf!”

 

I climbed onto the sofa, planted one foot on the backrest and clung tightly to my ‘microphone’, bobbing my head to a beat that existed entirely inside my own imagination.

 

I wasn’t that drunk.

Seriously.

The mood was just right!

 

It was the perfect fucking mood for screaming my lungs out!

 

“Fucking hell, Per! Get down! Someone’s going to come over and beat the shit out of you!”

 

I was just about to give Kung a drunken little OK sign when Moo and Muek moved faster. Those bastards yanked down my faithful trousers so hard that my dragon nearly escaped into the wild. I immediately crouched down with them. Doctor Kan is the only person allowed to see that, you fuckers! Don’t even think about getting a look!

 

“You bastards! I just wanted to sing! I asked you to go karaoke with me and none of you would fucking come.”

 

I folded my arms and turned away sulkily.

Fuck all of them.

 

“Like hell I’m going when your idea of ‘karaoke’ is the ten-baht-a-song coin-operated karaoke machine at Auntie Add’s larb shop!” Kung immediately yelled at me.

 

Oi, you bastard!

Don’t disrespect Auntie Add’s place!

Her shit is genuinely good!

 

“And do you seriously think Auntie Add’s shitty little lean-to shack selling herbal liquor is big enough to fit more than ten gigantic fucking engineering students with gears around their necks!? HUH!?”

 

I pouted and knocked back my whisky neat, too lazy to argue.

 

“…Hia Per’s really got it bad.”

 

Game turned towards Ice from Gear Rachan.

 

…You realise you’re gossiping about me right in front of my fucking face, right?

 

“Hah! When you get yourself a wife, you’ll understand what it feels like when your wife abandons you!!!”

 

I shouted so loudly at the pair of them that they both jumped.

 

“Wait! Hia Per’s the husband? I thought Doctor Kan was the top!?”

 

Kai joined in, eyes widening dramatically like he was genuinely shocked.

 

Fake-ass motherfucker!

Can’t you see the fucking lion inside me!?

 

“Exactly, Hia! P’Kan is handsome as fuck. He’s the legendary former University Moon! Cool as hell, total husband material. Honestly, he doesn’t suit you at all.” Tang joined in.

 

What the fuck do you people think I am!?

I’m husband material too!

I’m fucking handsome as well!!!

 

“You fuckers….”

 

I didn’t know what else to say.

Because, well…

Kan really was fucking handsome.

 

“…But what I’m trying to tell you bastards, is that my wife is sexy as fuck, hot as fuck and cute as fuck. I don’t care how beautiful some woman is or how hard she flirts with me right in front of my face; she can’t compete with my wife. I chose my wife, damn it!!!”

 

Thump!

As soon as I finished speaking, something soft and bouncy pressed against my back.

 

“Oh! I’m sorry. Khao’s just starting to get a little drunk, so I’m a bit dizzy.”

 

Khao was white.

And I mean white.

Pale as fuck.

Blindingly white.

White like a fucking fluorescent light.

 

The moment I saw her, I immediately thought she looked perfect for a pot, a rice pot, obviously. Especially considering the sizable assets that had just pressed against my back. When I turned around, they practically smacked me in the face. Fuck, I thought I was looking at a baby’s head!

 

“Awoooo!”

 

“What are you waiting for, you fuck— Oh! Sorry, Hia!”

 

“What wife? Your wife’s fucking abandoned you already!”

 

“Damn, she’s pale as a banana trunk! If that were me, I’d grab—CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!”

 

“She’s drunk, mate. Aren’t you going to take her home?”

 

I frowned.

Well….

She certainly was pale.

And she was drunk too.

Look at her!

 

She’d only walked past our table and somehow managed to stumble into me, even though I was sitting almost all the way at the back!

 

“…Are you heading home?”

 

I turned and asked her.

She immediately gave me a bright smile.

 

“I was thinking about it…. I really can’t take much more….”

 

She bit her lower lip as she finished speaking, then ran her fingers along my neck, sending a faint shiver through me.

 

“Then I’ll take you home.”

 

“Oooooooooh!”

 

“Wooooow! He loves his wiiiiife!”

 

I whipped around and gave the bastards my middle finger, silently telling them to shut the fuck up. It couldn’t be helped. Kan was the one who abandoned me without giving me a reason.

 

He came whenever he wanted.

Then left whenever he wanted.

I have a fucking heart too!

 

“Mmm….”

 

Apparently Khao really couldn’t take it anymore, because the moment we reached my car she moved straight towards me. She pushed my seat all the way back, climbed onto my lap and started kissing me relentlessly. Where the hell have you been, Nong…?

 

“Ah….”

 

All I could do was respond to her. She was the one making the offer. What was I supposed to do, sit there like a fucking statue? I had feelings too, you know.

 

“Are you sulking?”

 

Suddenly, the voice of the person I’d been missing for the past two months echoed through my mind.

 

“Nong Per… please stop being angry with P’Kan.”

 

My entire body froze. My eyes began to burn, as though they were preparing to turn everything I felt inside into tears.

 

“I don’t like them. I never have, and I never could. And when I rejected them… it only made me realise even more clearly that there’s already someone else in my heart.”

 

“….”

 

Kan’s tight embrace that day. It had felt as though he didn’t want to let go either.

 

“…I don’t want to start over with anyone. I’ve been lying to myself like that all along….”

 

“….”

 

The warmth I’d felt against my chest that day from Kan’s tears told me that the doctor had been hurting too….

 

Right?

 

“But I couldn’t stop myself from feeling this way….”

 

He couldn’t stop it because he loved me too….

 

Right!?

Shove!!!

 

I pushed the slender woman off my lap. Right now, my mind was filled with only one person. The person I loved. I missed him. Fuck, I missed my doctor so much!!!

 

“I can’t do this.”

 

“What?”

 

“I really can’t cheat on my wife. I’m sorry.”

 

I opened the car door and immediately ushered her out.

 

I pressed my ear against the black wooden door. There wasn’t a single sound from any living thing on the other side. It had been two months since Doctor Kan had returned to his condo. I come here almost every day. I’d even secretly bribed everyone- the security guards, the housekeepers, even the reception staff, asking them to tell me immediately if they saw my beloved wife return. But there was still no sign of him.

 

I could have gone looking for him at the ward, but his life as an extern seemed insanely busy. Whenever I secretly went there, I only managed to catch the briefest glimpse of him before he disappeared again. And outsiders weren’t allowed inside anyway. Besides….Someone like Doctor Kan would only become annoyed if I kept pestering him too much. It might make everything even worse. The fact that he hadn’t returned to his condo at all probably meant he genuinely wanted to run away from me. So all I could do now was wait.… Wait for him. Again and again. Without knowing when that waiting would ever end.

 

Drip. A clear tear fell onto my knee. I stared at it, overwhelmed by emotions I couldn’t even begin to describe. I hugged my knees tightly to my chest and rested my head helplessly against his door.

 

“…Can you come back…? It really hurts right now, Doctor….”

 

Could you come back and ask me in that voice again?

Just one more time….

 

“Does it hurt?”