EXTERN

Chapter 11

05:00

I switched off the alarm on my phone and automatically sprang out of bed.

 

“Shittt… Fuck!”

 

A sharp pain immediately shot through my backside. You could definitely say I was sore as hell.

 

“Mmm…? What’s wrong?”

 

The bearded guy sleepily sat up and pulled me into his arms.

 

Still… he still doesn’t fucking realise what he did!!!!

 

“You! It’s because of you! I told you I couldn’t take any more!”

 

I immediately snapped at him. Seriously, by the time I finally got to sleep, it was almost morning!

 

“But Kan didn’t exactly tell me to stop.”

 

He spoke in a subdued voice, eyes half-closed with sleep, and hugged me tighter like I was some teddy bear.

 

“How the fuck was I supposed to stop you?! Did you think my mouth was free at the time?”

 

“Ooh!”

I seriously hated that fake wide-eyed look of shock he always did. I wanted to squash the bastard into a ball and kick him off the building. So fucking annoying!

 

“Let me go! I need to hurry up and do rounds.”

 

I needed to go and progress my patients’ cases before the attending came to do rounds. If I didn’t finish the progress notes in time, my attending would definitely sulk at me. 

 

And when I say sulk, I don’t mean normal sulking. I could literally get kicked out of rounds for nearly a month simply because the attending “didn’t want to see my face”.

That would be fucking terrible!

 

“Okaaay. Wait a second. I’ll drive you.”

 

I nodded. Obviously he had to drive me—I’d come in his car, while mine was still parked at the university auditorium.

 

05:45

“What time should I pick you up this evening?”

I frowned at him in confusion. Why the hell did this feel like we were already husband and wife?

 

“Hold on, Beardie… You and me fucked. That doesn’t mean I have to be anything to you. Yeah, I’m single, but that doesn’t mean I’m on fucking sale. I’m perfectly happy not having anyone.”

 

“…”

 

My heart gave a sudden jolt. The person behind the wheel had gone noticeably still, as though I’d said something I shouldn’t have. 

 

But I wasn’t ready to date him. Couldn’t we carry on like this? Did we really have to put a label on whatever this was?

 

“Come on… We’re both men. You should understand.”

 

Just a temporary relationship. Can’t you please not take it so seriously? Don’t pressure me yet. I’m really not ready for a serious relationship with anyone right now.

 

“Kan… if two people sleep together once, maybe it really is just lust. Maybe they just got carried away”

 

“…”

 

“But if there’s a second time, or a third, then it’s intentional.”

 

I fell silent. My thoughts became a complete mess. He had a point. Did I actually feel something for him?

 

But even if I did, I still didn’t have the relationship status I was ready to give him.

 

“…”

 

“I don’t know how much you’re going to make this part of me hurt, Doctor…”

 

He pointed to the left side of his chest. The reproach in his eyes was painfully obvious, making me feel as though I’d bullied a little kid… like I’d snatched away his favourite toy.

 

…This is exactly why I hate kids.

Because they don’t understand me.

Because we can’t fucking communicate.

 

Snap!

Per yanked the black leather necklace he always wore from around his neck and held it out in front of me.

 

“…”

 

It was a black leather necklace with a brass gear pendant engraved with his class number:

Gear 41.

 

“…It isn’t worth much money. But believe me when I tell you that its value is my life.”

 

I’d heard about it before. I knew how important a gear was to engineering students.

Just like the short white coat I wore, both represented perseverance. You had to prove yourself—body, heart and soul—to earn them.

 

They were reminders of our responsibilities. Responsibilities we had willingly chosen to fulfil with all our hearts. Both were symbols representing the heart and spirit of our faculties. And I never imagined he would give his to me.

 

“Per…”

 

“I’ve never thought about giving this to anyone before. But right now, I don’t know what else I can use to make you stay. I don’t know how I’m supposed to find a place for myself in your life. All I know is that I don’t want to lose you.”

 

I froze.

Stunned and silent.

I had absolutely no idea what to say.

 

“You don’t have to wear it yet. Just accept it.”

 

“But…”

 

“Wait until you’re sure. Then you can wear it. Or if you’ve thought it through and decided you could never accept what it means… throw it away.”

 

“…”

 

I smiled at his words. How the hell could I throw it away? Wasn’t this incredibly important to him?

 

“I’ll never regret giving my gear to you… But if you give it back to me, it’ll only make it hurt more because it means I really have lost.”

 

“Per… I’m not going to wear it now. And I don’t know whether I’ll wear it in the future.”

 

I took the leather necklace from him and held it in my hand, looking seriously into his face.

 

“But if I ever decide to wear it… you have to be the one who puts it around my neck.”

 

“Kan…”

 

It was as though I could actually see light sparkling in his eyes.

 

Kids…

Honestly.

 

Could this be the first time that P’Kan learns how to love a younger guy?

 

“I’ve got to go… Pick me up at six.”

 

I quickly turned my face away so the poisonous snake wouldn’t see how hot my cheeks had become, grabbed my shoulder bag and climbed out of the car.

 

“Kaaaaaan! Come give me a kiss firsttttt!”

 

SLAM!

I slammed the car door and hurried away without looking at anyone.

 

FUCK, THIS IS EMBARRASSINGGGGG!

 

“Are you going to watch the juniors rehearse the play today, Kan?”

 

Natcha walked over and asked me while I was on my way to OPD—the outpatient department. Recently, she’d been hanging around me more and more often.

 

“Yeah. Today’s the dress rehearsal. The actual performance is tomorrow.”

 

“Then I’m coming too.”

 

I immediately turned towards her suspiciously.

 

“Why?”

 

“To do Guide’s job. Help take some of the workload off you.”

 

I just blinked at her, my brain working overtime. What was she trying to do? Did she think that helping me with my work would make her like me more? If I’d wanted to date her, I would’ve done it back in first year. I wouldn’t have waited until we were nearly finished with sixth year.

 

“Phu already has Nong Ping helping him.”

 

I tried using the fifth-year junior who served as the club president’s assistant as an excuse.

 

“I said I’m going, so I’m fucking going!”

 

Natcha suddenly snapped at me. I stared at her in confusion. She rarely raised her voice at me—especially not over something this trivial.

 

“Whatever.”

 

That was all I said before walking into my examination room.

 

Another normal responsibility of an extern was working in the outpatient clinic. Our duties were almost identical to those of fully qualified doctors, except legally we couldn’t prescribe medication because we didn’t have our licences yet.

 

So an attending—or someone who officially had Dr before their name—had to countersign our orders.

 

“What brings you in today?”

 

“Erm… well…”

 

I looked up from the preliminary history the nurse had written down. The guy sitting in front of me was small, fair-skinned and cute-looking. He seemed embarrassed to talk to me. He was probably a first- or second-year student.

 

“You can tell me.”

 

“Well… I have a wound on my bum. It stings…, and there’s some bleeding…”

 

I blinked, keeping the poker face our professors always taught us to use whenever patients told us something… slightly embarrassing.

 

“Okay?”

 

“And yesterday I sort of… accidentally sat on a meatball skewer. So I wanted a blood test… Erm… for AIDS.”

 

I nodded in understanding.

 

“You don’t need to tense up or be afraid of me. Why don’t you lie down on the bed first?”

 

“Okay.”

 

The young man obeyed and lay on his side with his back facing me.

 

“Would you like a third person to stay in the room as a witness?”

 

We had to ask patients this before performing intimate examinations or certain physical examinations. Having a third person present served as a chaperone and protected both patient and doctor.

 

“N-No! That’s okay!”

 

I nodded and signalled for the nurse to leave the examination room.

 

“Take your trousers off too, please.”

 

I turned away to put on my gloves, then squeezed some KY jelly onto the back of my hand in preparation for the rectal examination.

 

Rustle!

I looked over in confusion when the kid suddenly sat upright, staring at me with alarm—and more than a little fear about what exactly I intended to do.

 

“D-Doctor… what are you going to do?”

 

“I need to perform a rectal examination. That way I can see what kind of wound you have and treat it properly.”

 

“Erm…”

 

The young man’s face turned bright red, and he lowered his head. I tilted mine slightly in confusion.

 

What the hell was strange about that? If your ear hurts, I look in your ear. If your throat hurts, I look down your throat. And if your arse hurts… what the fuck am I supposed to examine, your collarbone?! What!?

 

“Okay, then tell me honestly. This meatball skewer that supposedly went up your arse… that was bullshit, wasn’t it?”

 

Our professors always taught us that the body doesn’t lie. No matter what history a patient gave us, sooner or later the physical examination would reveal what had really happened. If he’d told me he wanted blood tests because he’d been sexually assaulted, I would have done them for him.

 

“…Yes.”

 

“Then tell me again. The truth this time.”

 

I removed my gloves and stood listening carefully to the smaller patient.

 

“I… ended up having sex with a senior. A man…”

 

I nodded. I’d already guessed as much. There probably weren’t many patients who had sex with a woman and somehow ended up with abrasions inside their rectum.

 

And if someone actually tried telling me that story, did they seriously think I’d believe it? 😐

 

“And he was… rough… hic… so I’m scared that I might… hic!”

 

Oh, FUCK!

You’ve made the kid cry, Kan!

 

I hurriedly grabbed some tissues and held them out to him.

 

“Here… wipe your tears first.”

 

Grab!

Before the kid could even take the tissues from my hand, he grabbed me and hugged me instead, burying his face against my chest. I could feel dampness spreading through my white coat.

 

“Listen to me. For now, you’ll take antiretroviral medication. But I need to warn you that the medicine can have many side effects, and it works best when it’s started immediately after possible exposure or within the first few hours. I’ll arrange blood tests for you, and then we’ll make another appointment for you to come back and discuss the results.”

 

The kid nodded against me but continued hugging me tightly, still crying.

 

“Being infected with HIV doesn’t automatically mean you have AIDS. It doesn’t mean your life is ruined either. You need to take better care of yourself. And right now, we don’t even know your results yet, so don’t worry before we know anything, okay?”

 

I gently stroked his head to comfort him. He was so young, and having to keep something like this to himself because he was too afraid to tell anyone must have been incredibly stressful.

 

“I understand.”

 

“Okay. Now, can Doctor take a look at the wound?”

 

“Yes.”

 

The kid nodded, finally releasing me and obediently lying down so I could examine him.

 

Auditorium

 

“Ping… how’s everything going?”

 

I turned to ask my junior, who was supervising the final stages of rehearsal.

 

In less than twenty-four hours, this entire event would finally be over.

 

“No problems so far, P’. We’re about to run through the dress rehearsal.”

 

I nodded. I’d finished OPD late today, and Per had been chased down and ordered to get himself to rehearsal. So I told him to go ahead without me.

 

I came later with Guide—who had been forcibly dragged along—as well as Natcha, Great and May, my friends.

 

Basically, the whole fucking gang had been hauled here.

 

“Alright. I’m going backstage.”

 

Grab!

I was about to walk around towards the back of the stage when a slender hand suddenly caught my arm.

 

“Why are you going back there? Sit here and watch from the front. If the juniors do something wrong, you actually need to see it so you can tell them.”

 

Natcha frowned at me.

 

“Will you stop making such a fucking fuss? Let Kan do whatever he wants. He’s old enough to have a husband now.”

 

“Fucking hell, Great! Watch your mouth!”

 

I shook my head and pointed threateningly at Great, whom I rarely got to see because we were assigned to different wards.

 

Then I pulled my arm free from the close female friend I’d recently begun to feel considerably less interested in being close to.

 

Natcha still looked pissed off, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. So I slipped away and headed backstage. It wasn’t like I was rushing off to find anyone or anything…

 

I just…

…I just…

…I was only worried some kid might start whining because P’Kan wasn’t paying him enough attention!

 

When I reached backstage, people from all sorts of faculties were running around everywhere setting up scenery, adjusting the lights and sound equipment, even preparing costumes they’d sewn themselves.

 

I looked left. Then right. Not a single sign of the person I wanted to see. Where the fuck had he disappeared to?

 

“P’KAAAAAN! AHHHH! YOUR FOREHEAD’S OUT TODAY! YOU LOOK FUCKING HOT!”

 

“MINKKK! THAT’S MY HUSBANDDDD!”

 

“…”

 

I stood there completely expressionless, stunned and confused at being complimented from point-blank range.

 

Did they seriously think I was going to get embarrassed? Apparently this hairstyle really did look good on me.

 

That fucking bearded bastard had styled my hair this morning and said it suited me.

 

“Erm… Have you seen Per?”

 

“I FUCKING KNEW IT! HE CAME LOOKING FOR P’PER!”

 

“P’Per looks hot as fuck today too! Oh my Godddd! My poor heart is too fragile for thissss~”

 

I had a feeling communicating with these people was going to be impossible today. So I walked over to the group of engineering students clustered together, taking a water break after being used as manual labour to carry scenery on and offstage.

 

“DOCTORRRR! WHY ARE YOU SO HANDSOMEEE?!”

 

“WHY DO YOU LOOK SO MUCH LIKE SOMEONE’S HUSBAND?!”

 

“Maybe I should become Doctor’s wife!”

 

“Wait, did Hia Per get himself a husband?! NOOOOO!”

 

“I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING A DOCTOR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW! NOW WE’VE GOT A DOCTOR SON-IN-LAW INSTEAD!!”

 

Hold the fuck on!

 

All I did was show my forehead!

 

Did they really need to lose their fucking minds this badly?!

 

“ALL OF YOU, SHUT UP!!!”

 

“…”

 

The entire area seemed to fall silent. Not only Per’s third-year engineering gang, but even students from the other faculties stopped what they were doing.

 

“…”

 

“Where’s Per?”

 

I swear I said it more quietly that time.

But—

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!”

 

“WHEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!”

 

“Awwww, he really did come looking for Hia!”

 

“Okay, I can relax now. We’re still getting our doctor daughter-in-law.”

 

I let out a long sigh and shook my head in exasperation. Coming to find the bastard had definitely been a mistake.

 

THUMP!

Something slammed into my back. A second later, I found myself trapped in the ridiculously strong arms of one enormous fucking snake.

 

“Did you come looking for me, baaaaaabe?”

 

Only one person could sound this ridiculously excited—the supposedly cool Hia Per of Gear Acha.

 

“Yes! Now let me fucking go!”

 

“OOOOOOOOOH!”

 

He obediently released me…Only to immediately drag me towards a nearby dressing room.

 

“Have you eaten yet?”

 

I turned to ask him as I looked over his costume.

 

A dress rehearsal was basically the same as the real performance, so he was fully dressed as Tybalt of the wealthy Capulet family.

 

He wore a Renaissance-style costume: fitted white trousers, a cream long-sleeved shirt underneath, and a brown outer garment structured broadly across the shoulders.

 

It made his already muscular body look even more imposing and elegant. I genuinely couldn’t take my eyes off him. The bastard really was handsome.

 

“Not yet. I was waiting to eat with you, Doctor.”

 

The poisonous snake lowered his head and nuzzled against my shoulder. There was less than ten centimetres between us in height so that he could do it easily.

 

“Mmm. I haven’t eaten either. Let’s wait until 

rehearsal finishes, yeah?”

 

Tybalt lifted his head and gave me an enormous smile, his eyes practically sparkling.

 

“We can buy something and take it back to the condo to eat, right?!”

 

Smack!

I slapped him on the forehead.

 

“Get those filthy thoughts out of your fucking head! The performance is tomorrow. If you end up unable to perform, I’ll fucking kill you.”

 

I pointed at him threateningly before leading the way out of the dressing room. It was probably almost time to rehearse anyway. If he disappeared for too long, it would cause problems.

 

“Haven’t you heard the legend of Hia Per?”

 

“What fucking legend?”

 

I tilted my head at the cocky bastard following so closely behind me that we might as well have been tied together.

 

“Well…”

He grinned.

 

“Hia Per—108 horsepower, 108 positions, moaning all night long!”

 

“MOANING YOUR FUCKING FATHERRRRRRR!”