EXTERN

Chapter 1

 

Okay, do you know what one of the biggest disasters of studying medicine is?

 

Studying hard?

 

No. Every faculty works hard.

 

Being exhausted?

 

No. Every student is exhausted.

 

Being so busy that your partner dumps you?

 

...Well, yes, that's definitely possible. But it hasn't happened to me yet, so let's skip that one.

 

Being on call?

 

Exactly.

 

Being on call is the absolute worst.

 

And it's even more brutal when you're on the rota for your final year.

 

Fortunately, the professor let us finish our shift at midnight tonight.

 

Five...

 

Four...

 

Three...

 

Two...

 

One...

 

"Happy New Year!"

 

Whoosh! Boom!

 

The television in the ward erupted with the countdown celebrations. Nurses and patients alike smiled, clapped, and sang along as they welcomed the new year.

 

Meanwhile, I quietly packed away my things, ready to clock off and finally get some sleep.

 

I was exhausted.

 

All I wanted was one decent night's rest.

 

"Dr Kan, are you heading home already?"

 

"Yes."

 

I smiled and waved goodbye to the nurse.

 

I'd be back for morning rounds in a few hours anyway.

 

People in this profession never really got a day off.

 

Click.

 

I unlocked my car and climbed inside.

 

Pulling out my phone, I checked for any new messages, just in case my girlfriend, Namfah, had texted me.

 

Nothing.

 

Lately, we barely spoke.

 

I'd been buried under ward duties and university work, barely finding enough time to sleep. Namfah was probably just as busy. She worked in the accounting department of a large company, where overtime was practically a way of life, so neither of us had much free time these days.

 

When she found out I'd be on call over New Year's Eve, she hadn't complained.

 

She simply told me she was going to attend a New Year's prayer service with her mother.

 

Honestly, I thought that was probably for the best.

 

Riiing...

 

Just as I was about to lock my phone and start the engine, it began vibrating loudly in my hand.

 

It was Natcha.

 

My tomboyish best friend. 

"Hello?"

 

"Have you finished your shift yet?"

 

Natcha had been on call yesterday. Today, she was probably out celebrating the New Year with the rest of her gang.

 

"Yeah... I'm just about to head back to the condo."

 

I started the engine and steered the car out of the hospital car park.

 

"Hurry over to Z Club! Your horns are growing, Kan!"

 

I frowned.

 

What on earth was she talking about?

 

...

 

Z Club

 

I parked outside the club before slipping off my short white coat, leaving myself in a dark grey T-shirt, black skinny jeans and a pair of leather shoes. Running a hand through my messy hair, I pushed it back into place before heading inside.

 

The club pulsed with deafening music and flashing lights.

 

Weaving through the crowd, I searched for my friends' table, dodging women who deliberately brushed against me or found excuses to touch my arm as I passed. After a few minutes, I finally spotted the group.

 

"Why did you drag me here? I'm exhausted!"

 

I complained the moment I reached the table, glaring at the friend who had practically forced me to come.

 

Everyone was already there.

 

Someone handed me a glass of whisky, and I emptied it in one swallow.

 

"So... where's your girlfriend?"

 

The question came from one of my closest friends—the vice-president of the Tourism Club, who was about as useful as a decorative plant whenever any real work needed doing.

 

"She went to pray with her mum."

 

I answered without much thought.

 

Why was everyone suddenly asking about Namfah?

 

"Kan..."

 

My friend hesitated, exchanging glances with the others before speaking again.

 

"That woman over there... the one in the blue blouse and smart trousers, all cosy on that sofa..."

 

"...isn't that your girlfriend?"

 

I blinked.

 

"What?"

 

"Look."

 

I followed the direction of his trembling finger.

 

On the sofa beside ours sat a slender woman I knew better than anyone.

 

Namfah.

 

For the past four years, I'd known every smile, every habit, every inch of her.

 

Now she was wedged comfortably between two men in office shirts. Their collars were undone, their hair tousled from too many wandering hands, while the three of them sat shoulder to shoulder, laughing as though they belonged together.

 

"..."

 

An icy chill swept through me, from the top of my head right down to my toes.

 

It felt as though a pair of enormous horns had suddenly sprouted from my head, heavy enough to scrape against the ceiling.

 

"I don't think that's alcohol in her glass..."

 

"...It's probably holy water."

 

"What kind of prayer service is this supposed to be?!"

 

The table erupted in outrage on my behalf.

 

They'd arrived long before I had.

 

Which meant they'd probably seen far more than I had.

 

"Maybe the bloke on stage isn't a DJ after all..."

 

"...Maybe he's a monk!"

 

"Alright, everyone!"

 

"Amen!"

 

The entire table dramatically folded their hands together in mock prayer.

 

Ignoring every one of them, I snatched the vice-president's glass of neat whisky and knocked it back in a single gulp.

 

I couldn't taste it.

 

My mind had gone completely blank.

 

And for the first time...

 

I wished I'd never come.

 

"Hey!"

 

"Kan! Where are you going?"

 

"That bastard's calling me."

 

I shoved myself up from the sofa and strode straight onto the dance floor, never once looking in Namfah's direction. 

"I'm going to find myself a husband."

 

If my life had already gone to hell...

 

...then I might as well go all the way.

 

My gaze settled on the most striking man on the dance floor.

 

Even beneath the flashing lights, he stood out effortlessly.

 

He was tall and broad-shouldered, with the lean, athletic build of someone who clearly looked after himself. There was an easy confidence about him that drew people's attention without him even trying. His warm smile was almost annoyingly attractive, while the light stubble along his jaw only added to his rugged charm.

 

"Dr Kan?"

 

I pushed the woman clinging to his arm aside.

 

Before either of us had time to think, I grabbed the engineering student by the collar and crashed my lips against his.

 

At that moment...

 

I didn't care anymore.

 

I didn't need to.

 

For once, I was going to do exactly what I wanted.

 

Pull!

 

Thud!

 

I slammed Per's broad frame against the bedroom wall of my condo before pressing myself firmly against him.

 

"Mmm..."

 

His lips answered mine without hesitation, the kiss deepening almost immediately as his arms circled my waist and drew me closer. His hands settled against my hips while I slipped mine beneath his shirt, tracing the firm muscles of his abdomen before slowly undoing the buttons one by one.

 

I wanted him.

 

Right now.

 

More than anything, I wanted someone to want me too.

 

Just for tonight...

 

I wanted to feel needed.

 

Thump!

 

I pushed him back onto the bed and climbed over him, lowering my head to brush kisses along his neck while breathing in the scent of his cologne mixed with his natural warmth.

 

It was clean.

 

Masculine.

 

Addictive.

 

I was already becoming intoxicated by it.

 

"Ah..."

 

Before I realised what was happening, the man beneath me suddenly shifted. With surprising ease, he rolled us over until I was the one pinned beneath him.

 

"Mmm..."

 

He kissed me again, slower this time. Sometimes the kiss was demanding enough to steal my breath away; other times it softened into something almost impossibly gentle.

 

His lips gradually wandered from my mouth towards my neck.

 

"Don't... leave a mark."

 

Whether he hadn't heard me or had simply decided to ignore me, I couldn't tell.

 

A sharp sting bloomed against my skin.

 

There would definitely be a bruise tomorrow morning.

 

Our shirts disappeared somewhere onto the bedroom floor as we hurriedly rid ourselves of them, neither of us wanting anything left between us.

 

As I reached for his belt, he matched every movement without hesitation.

 

"Ah..."

 

A quiet gasp escaped my lips before I could stop it.

 

My fingers instinctively buried themselves in his soft brown hair.

 

Then I felt my jeans beginning to slide down.

 

Hold on...

 

Just a second.

 

"Wait."

 

He paused immediately, one eyebrow lifting as an amused smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

 

His jeans hung low on his hips now, revealing the toned physique I'd only caught glimpses of before. Beneath the dim bedroom light, his dark brown eyes seemed almost golden.

 

"Yes?"

 

"No."

 

I shook my head firmly.

 

"I'm not the bottom."

 

Who in their right mind would volunteer for that?

 

Absolutely not.

 

After years of surgical placements and clinical examinations, I knew perfectly well how uncomfortable that could be.

 

No chance.

 

"Is that so...?"

 

He answered so calmly that I almost believed he'd accepted it.

 

Then he simply smiled.

 

Before I knew it, he was back beside me, his gentle touches drawing my attention away from everything else. Every movement was unhurried, patient, and teasing enough to leave my thoughts in complete disarray.

 

"Ah..."

 

My breathing gradually became uneven.

 

Every careful touch sent another wave of warmth through me until I found myself gripping his hair without even realising it.

 

He seemed to know exactly how to unravel every ounce of tension I was holding onto.

 

"Mmm..."

 

When he finally looked up, our foreheads rested lightly together.

 

"Hah..."

 

I could hardly stay still.

 

Every nerve in my body felt unbearably sensitive, and I found myself biting down on my lower lip to stop any more embarrassing sounds from escaping.

 

Looking up, I found his familiar smile waiting for me.

 

It was still warm.

 

Still gentle.

 

Yet somehow, it made my heart beat even faster.

 

"Don't bite your lip."

 

"Ah..."

 

His voice was low and firm.

 

Almost an order.

 

"I... I can't..."

 

His expression softened, but his eyes never left mine.

 

Without thinking, I bit my lip again.

 

"I told you not to."

 

I wanted to stop.

 

I really did.

 

But every gentle touch only made my body react more strongly until...

 

"Ah...!"

 

A shiver swept through me as every ounce of tension I'd been carrying finally gave way.

 

Per caught me before I could even recover, wrapping an arm securely around my waist.

 

"I told you not to bite your lip," he murmured beside my ear. "Why didn't you listen?"

 

His husky voice sent another shiver racing through me.

 

"Ah... wait..."

 

Warm kisses brushed behind my ear before trailing slowly down the nape of my neck.

 

My breathing gradually steadied.

 

The earlier nervousness melted away, replaced by an unfamiliar sense of comfort.

 

Somehow...

 

I found myself trusting him.

 

"Hmm... don't tease me too much," he murmured with a smile. "I don't want to rush this."

 

"Oh... that's easy for you to say."

 

A laugh escaped him before he drew me closer once again.

 

Eventually, I gathered enough courage to push him gently onto the mattress instead.

 

"I want to..."

 

I wanted to be the one in control.

 

He smiled without arguing.

 

"Easy... relax."

 

His hands remained at my waist, steadying me whenever I faltered.

 

Little by little, we found a rhythm that felt natural.

 

Soon our faces were only inches apart.

 

I couldn't look away.

 

"Ah..."

 

He pulled me into a tight embrace, resting his forehead against mine as our breathing gradually fell into sync.

 

"Per... I..."

 

My voice trailed off.

 

Instead of answering, he kissed me again.

 

Softly.

 

Tenderly.

 

The kiss lingered until every other thought slipped from my mind.

 

Thump!

 

A moment later, he gently lowered me back onto the bed without ever breaking the kiss.

 

Everything around us faded away.

 

There was nothing left except the warmth we shared and the frantic beating of my heart.

 

He studied my face as though trying to memorise every expression before leaning down to steal one last lingering kiss.

 

When it was finally over, exhaustion settled over us both.

 

He collapsed beside me, still holding me close, and the light brush of his moustache against my ear made me laugh despite myself.

 

"...Stop that. It tickles."

 

The handsome engineer looked at me with an unmistakably teasing smile.

 

Even though he still hadn't let go of me...

 

I realised I didn't mind.

 

Not at all.

 

Silence settled comfortably over the room.

 

Closing my eyes, I let my breathing slowly return to normal.

 

There was no point dwelling on what had already happened.

 

It was done.

 

So why regret it now?

 

"Happy New Year, Doctor."

 

His voice was low and gentle as he tightened his embrace ever so slightly.

 

"Mmm... Happy New Year, Mr Engineer."