BAM!

I slam the taxi door shut and run toward the Political Science Building in the rain. I didn't even listen to the rest of what Tong was saying. As soon as I heard that Ket had fallen, I snatched the umbrella and darted out of the restaurant.

 

The light on the ground floor is still on amid the darkness surrounding it. The downpour falls heavily, splashing everywhere. I look around for that tall guy and find him leaning against a pole on the floor. His body is covered in mud. How did he fall?

 

"Why didn't you pick up my call?" I prop my fist on Ket's head, and he responds with a faint smile.

 

"I ran out of battery."

 

How irresponsible. I check his body. No bruises on his face. His pants are rolled up, showing the greenish-purple bruise on his ankle. There are scratches on his arms and elbows.

 

"How did you fall?"

 

"I tripped. I was walking down the stairs and slipped on the mud," Ket says, laughing. Is it time to laugh, you idiot?

 

"Where does it hurt? Did you sprain your ankle?"

 

"Yeah."

 

Good grief. I thought he had a concussion or something. I plop on the floor next to Ket and heave a sigh of relief.

 

"I thought it was severe."

 

"Sorry...Didn't Tong tell you I sprained my ankle?"

 

He probably did, but I didn't listen. I watch the rain fall so relentlessly, as if reminding me of Ning's tears. But the night rain, the dim streetlights, and the smell of the rain mixed with Ket's mild perfume… I don't want to forget any of them.

 

"Are you cold?"

 

Ket asks me, and I shake my head. I think he's the one feeling cold. I move closer to Ket so our arms touch like that day. The day we were locked up in the kitchen. The day I wished for someone's warmth to keep me safe.

 

"I hate the rain," Ket mumbles, reaching his hand out through the rain.

 

"You've hated it since you were young."

 

"You remember?"

 

"Yeah."

 

I remember everything. I look at our feet. Back then, the length of our legs was the same when we sat like this. Now, Ket's legs are longer than mine. His white sneakers are stained with mud, so dirty that I crack up.

 

"You're thinking I'm clumsy, huh?" Ket places his heavy hand on my head and rocks it hard.

 

"Nah. I can't believe a young master with forever spotless shoes stained his shoes."

 

"I can buy new ones."

 

"Is it that easy? You're not considering washing them?" What a rich behaviour.

 

"It'd be great if they were as clean as before after getting washed." Ket's voice becomes even softer, barely audible.

 

I'm not sure if he's implying anything else besides his sneakers. It's not the time to think of something complicated right now. I'm relieved to have him by my side, watching the rain together.

 

The sound of the rain is clear in my ears. I close my eyes to hear it more clearly.

 

"It doesn't have to be as clean as before. As long as it's your favourite pair, shouldn't it be enough?"

 

My voice is soft like a whisper, but it's loud enough for the man beside me to hear. I gaze at the rain in front of me again. It's lighter now, but the rain's white curtain still blurs everything ahead. To me, the rain is meaningless drops from the sky, but Mi would say, 'We can't see anything ahead of us, so we have to try running through it.'

 

I stand up and take off my shoes. Ket grasps my arm in alarm.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"In the rain."

"In the rain?"

 

"Yeah. I want to play." I step out from under the roof into the falling rain. It's freezing to the core. The memory of the six-year-old me playing in the rain with Ning for the first time flashes in my mind. I was so happy that I forgot the fear of getting hit by my mother. I skip along the path like a child before glancing at the man sitting in the building. The way he looks at me through the rain is excruciatingly painful, yet he never truly expresses it.

 

Is he sad?

Don't be.

 

Maybe it's best to be by each other's side without starting over or defining our relationship.

 

I walk back to the empty building through the rain. The security guard turns off the light and disappears behind the building. I approach Ket, my eyes locked on him, the man I let go of my fear to be with.

 

I stroke his face gently. He doesn't turn away, though my hand is wet from the rain. That's the face of the man I'm in love with. The man who holds my hand when no one else is there for me.

 

I run my fingers through his soft hair, touch the nape of his neck, and pull him closer. Ket drapes his arms around my waist and buries his face in my stomach despite how soaked I am. No matter what, Ket is my happiness.

And he'll forever be.

 

"Are you sure it doesn't hurt that bad?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Here's the bandages. You can treat him, right, Kieng?"

"Sure."

 

I watch Sorn close the first aid kit and glance up at the man too stubborn to go to the hospital. Ket said he didn't need to see a doctor for a sprained ankle. But, from what I see, it's awfully swollen.

 

Sorn pats my shoulder and leaves. I see Mee trailing behind him. What an odd sight. The faint smell of Ket's favourite coffee wafts from the whale mug. I rest my chin in my hand, watching the man occupied with the bandage around his left ankle. I then shift forward to put the bandages on each scratch on his arms.

 

This brings back memories. We used to treat each other's wounds like this back then.

 

'You spoiled rich brat.'

 

'You think you can be all haughty because you're better than us?'

 

Leave him alone!' A thirteen-year-old shouted and punched the big boy, hurting his special person. All I thought was I'd protect Ket no matter what it took. I went all out despite being smaller than them.

 

As a result, my face was swollen from the strikes, and my ribs hurt because they got stomped on.

 

You got in the way, bastard.'

 

However, his bravery made them let Ket go. Kieng.' The boy with charming eyes rushed to me as I coughed. It wasn't cool to be beaten up like that. The blood seeping through my lips made the usually emotionless boy tear up. laughed and put my hand on Ket's head, ruffling his hair.

 

‘I'm fine.'

 

‘But the blood..'

 

‘It's okay. No big deal.' It was no big deal, but it hurt so bad I plopped on the tiled floor and leaned my back against the wall. Ket settled in front of me and put the

bandage he carried around on the swollen part of the corner of my mouth.

 

'Sorry.'

It's my job. I protect you.'

 

‘But you're hurt. I don't like it.'

 

'It's okay.'

 

I took his small hand and held it to spread my warmth. Right then, his fierce eyes became gentle as he looked at me. Deep inside, there was strength hidden in

those eyes.

 

"I promise I'll be stronger!

 

'And I'll be the one protecting you, Kieng.'

 

How funny. He was small and weak. Well..I decided to wait for the day he'd protect me.

 

"Do you have any plans during the school break?" 1 ask Ket as he fumbles with the bandage around his ankle

 

"Hmmm," Ket hums. "No. Why?"

 

"The contest takes place in Bangkok. Do you want to go with me?"

 

Ket's beautiful lips curl into a bright smile, making my heart pound. I avert my gaze from his dazzling eyes and pay attention to sticking the bandages on the scratches on his arms and elbows. Why is he so happy? I'm just inviting him to join the Bangkok trip.

 

"Sure."

 

"One condition."

 

"Hmm?"

 

"You have to buy me popcorn."

 

"I'll buy you whatever you want."

 

"How rich."

 

"Gotta spend money when I can." Ket smiles and pinches my cheek.

 

"Is your work almost done?"

 

"No. It's step by step. My lips hurt right now."

 

"Didn't you use lip balm?"

 

"I did all the time, but they still hurt."

 

"Don't overwork yourself." I push his head gently.

 

"Yeah. You, too. Check your dark circles. You study all day and night."

 

"I don't need to sleep as long as you're by my side."

 

"Idiot."

 

I'm about to push Ket's head one more time, but my hand stops midway. A slender woman descending the stairs interrupts our conversation. Ning gives me a smile before exiting the restaurant without greeting me. She'll move to her apartment this evening. Ning hasn't told me when she'll return to Bangkok. I assume she'll stay for as long as she feels like it.

 

I paste the last bandage on Ket's wrist and gather the trash to throw away in the back area. I adjust my clothes on the line. Before moving anything much, Tou's face appears out of nowhere.

 

"You scared me, you son of a bitch." Tou's hand flies up to his chest. I should be the one startled. Ugh, he suddenly showed up. I thought he was a ghost.

 

I've been stumbling across this pharmacy student a lot lately, since it's exam season. During this time, Tou hardly leaves the residence. He studies in his room like a ghost. The most he does is come down to do laundry and find something to eat.

 

"Are you going out?"

 

"I have classes in the afternoon. What do you want?"

 

"Two packs of paracetamol."

"For work?"

 

"For myself. My headaches are from studying."

 

"Why don't you ask Sorn?"

 

"I don't want to bother him."

 

"Okay. I'll get them for you. Anything else?"

 

"Earphones. I tore my old ones. I want the most expensive ones in the convenience store."

 

"Why don't you order it?"

 

"Why would I pay for the delivery fee?" Tou says and marches up the stairs, leaving me in puzzlement. You can afford the most expensive ones in the store, but you refuse to pay forty baht for the delivery?!

 

I disagreed with Ket attending his class with his injured ankle, yet he insisted on going because it was a complex subject in the first year. So, I had to take him to his department building and pick him up later. Today I had to dust off my bike-riding skills to make it easier to give the limping Ket rides. Mee doesn't mind me riding his Fino, but I must not touch his beloved Ducati. Otherwise, I'll fall to my untimely death.

 

It's over six o'clock. The sun is setting. I look up at the indigo sky. No clouds. No stars. No moon. No colours besides faded indigo. The sky like this gives off a terrible feeling. It's uncomfortable and void of emotions. I stopped by the club room earlier for a meeting. Fou said the art club would join the department's streetside stall festival this year. He booked one area and got approved. This year, Fou planned to sell postcards to increase the club's budget, and I, the honoured member, would draw ten postcards for him.

 

Upon hearing that, I told him off in front of everyone. The contest is around the corner. The exam season is not over yet. I also have tons of projects back in my room. Does he think I have ten hands? After some negotiation, Fou reduced it to six postcards rather than five. He's freaking insistent.

 

Buzz, buzz.

My phone buzzes, startling me as I curse Fou in my mind. The name on the screen belongs to someone I'm waiting for in front of his department building. Pick up the call, still aggravated by that damn club president.

 

"Hey."

[Why do you look like that?]

 

"What?"

[You look annoyed.]

 

"How do you know?"

[l'm looking at you.]

 

I crane my neck toward the ground floor and spot Ket standing there with a smile. That young master is attractive, yet I've never seen girls swarming around him. They give him the eye from afar, though. Some stare at him when they walk by. When I look carefully, Ket doesn't smile at anyone but me. He even exudes the 'don't talk to me' aura so obviously that no one dares to approach him.

 

"What bugs you?" Ket limps toward me and the bike and sets his backpack in the basket at the front. Once he's ready, I start the engine and straddle the bike to ride it home.

 

"It's just Fou."

 

"Oh, yeah?"

 

"Will you go home? Hop up."I pat the backseat, and Ket carefully gets up behind me. I pass him a helmet and wear mine.

 

"I'll be in your care."

 

What the heck? I'm not a taxi bike rider. I slowly take off from the Political Science Building into the university road with dozens of speed bumps. When was the last time I got on this bike? I remember being Mee's regular backseat boy. He picked me up when the ice-breaking activities ended late. Despite how busy he was at the restaurant, he always found time to pick me up. Even if he looks scary, he's impressively caring.

 

The wind drifts past my face. The indigo sky turns black. The way Ket grips the hem of my shirt feels strangely distant.

"You'll fall off. Hold on to me tightly."

 

"Can I?"

 

I glower. Ket doesn't see it, but he probably knows I'm in a sour mood. Don't argue with me right now. There are more speed bumps than chips in one pack, yet he's asking if he can hold on to me.

 

"You want to fall?"

 

"No."

 

"Will you hold on to me properly?"

 

"Yes."

 

Ket slips his large hands around my waist. The spreading warmth feels amazing.

I pull over in front of the convenience store to get earphones for Tou with Ket waiting on the bike. But when I stop by a pharmacy, he follows me inside. Ket staggers toward me and places a box of paracetamol next to my stuff.

 

"A whole box?" Tou needs only two packs, but Ket takes a box. Is it medicine or candies?

 

"Yeah." Seeing me frowning, Ket explains, "It's for you, too. You might have a fever again from working too hard."

 

I wouldn't need a whole box. Hardworking students are indeed frightening. We're back on the bike. I can ride it more comfortably now without worrying about speed bumps. I chose the path along the beach to enjoy the cool breeze. Ket inches closer and wraps his arms around my body. Since we both have our helmets on, we don't need to care about others looking. Suddenly, he speaks softly.

 

"The stars are beautiful today."

 

Really? I can't look up because I'm riding the bike.

 

"But the star in front of me is beautiful every day."

 

Just words from someone obsessed with stars complimenting his favourite things.

Regardless, I know what he means. Can you not make my heart race like this?

If you disappear again...

I will never forgive you.