PitBabe series2

Every day of mine passes quickly. I take my beloved car, which Alan gave me, and run daily from morning to evening. Several rounds a day. The whole field is still the same. Every curve is still the same degree—the same car. The driver is still the same person. But I feel like I'm a new person with every passing round. At least it's the same person with a little more experience. To say that it's zero.

 

I used to think playfully that I would have grown up a lot in prison. Part of this is due to the big mistake that made me have to take myself there, and another part is from learning to live with solitude. In prison, there are hundreds of prisoners. We live together like animals in a cage, not friends or family.

 

People who have a real friendship, it's there. They met in prison and are still friends. Let's continue even if one party is released from jail first. I often see people who are released from prison and come back to visit friends every week. Causing prisoners who have never even had relatives to visit is named in the visit table. Those people are lucky.

 

As for me, I'm the type who has someone to talk to. But no one can be called a full-mouthed friend. Winner likes to find trouble, steal things and fucks around with many things. As for Kenta, he doesn't seem to be obsessed with anyone. I often look at him; I feel he doesn't want to leave there. The story is strange and should begin a good conversation between him and me. But I left it like that because Kenta doesn't want to befriend anyone.

 

The first distinct feeling after returning to the outside world is relief. I'm relieved that there is still room for me outside. My only family is still willing to open their arms to welcome me. Although in the past I was the one who broke that strong thread first —the trust that will never be touched again. They still handed it up as if my mistakes never existed. That's what I'm most grateful for.

 

But what's disappointing is that this group, our team, is quieter than ever. As far as I remember, X Hunter has never been scattered like this. Even if it's a break between the seasons, the garage and the practice ground are still lively. Even if we are too lazy to practice, we can play games together on Alan's giant screen—snooker competition. The losers have to go out and buy snacks to feed the whole garage. And some days, we each do our activities. Alan and Jeff are busy tuning new cars and ordering car parts. P'Babe practises racing with Way (and both take turns training for me). North serves as a model for Sonic to dress up. Shoot a clip on the YouTube channel. North tried to disturb this person until he was scolded, but he still laughed in his heart.

 

I know that time passes every day, but I don't know how to avoid thinking about it. The date and time can't be taken back anymore. Now, the person who comes to the practice field most often is me. Charlie left on the day of the breakup with P'Babe. I haven't seen him again. Alan and Jeff sometimes come to the garage. But not as often as before, because Jeff usually has to help with Charlie's work, which keeps Alan hanging around. With inevitability, P'Babe almost doesn't appear at the garage. He seems to have so many things to deal with that I don't dare to ask, even though he thinks about his driving. As for North and Sonic, in the past, they came to the practice field almost every day because North was back on the plane. 

 

Inspired by his racing career again, Sonic, who is not a racer, always comes in to take care of the practice. But lately, North himself seems to be busy. He disappeared without telling much other than 'help with the younger brother'. As for Sonic, it seems to be starting a job from Paris to send it out for completion. Because he refuses to book a ticket to go back, the person who looks the most groovy is probably Kim. In addition to me, a horn comes to practice most consistently. But, strangely, he doesn't practice like the first time. Plus, after the practice, he rushed home immediately. Invited to eat rice, but didn't go together. Alan said that he might be addicted to a girl. But I can't imagine someone like Kim going anywhere.

 

Something is happening. I know that. It's not just Charlie's story that has become a big issue in the country. Or P'Babe, who seems to be entangled with what he wants to escape from the most. But I can feel that under the silence now. Everyone on the team moves awkwardly and cautiously. They have their own goals. And afraid to tell others, even the team, that it's a family. Now our family won't be as close as I used to remember.

 

It's a common thing. I may not have the right to say this, but I miss X Hunter. X Hunter is the number one racing team —a team full of passionate, committed racers, a team that is both friends and family. We used to never think of anything other than racing. We talked about cars all day and night. But now it's so sad that even meeting face-to-face is beyond our reach.

 

One of the people I'm most worried about now is Pui Alan. I hope I don't overthink. Our captain looks strange. But the more I notice, the more I see the man's abnormality. He still does everything as usual. It's still a brother, a captain, and a pillar of Team X. But I see the pillar shaking under that normality.

 

Not yet to the stage of nogen, but a slight trembling amid fearful stillness. In Pu Alan's eyes, there is something I am not familiar with. Not because I have never seen it before. But it shouldn't be based on secretly living with a brother I respect from the bottom of my heart, like Pu Alan.

 

I see something, something that used to haunt my heart, something that forced me to do things that I never expected to be able to do, something evil and sealed sin in my heart. To this day, I'm still terrified every night when I dream of it, disgusted with myself that I once accepted and invited it to eat all the systems in me and commit unforgivable karma. I hope I'm not seeing myself wrong.

 

A heavy piece of iron hitting the ground sounded louder before I walked into the garage door, just a few steps away. I instinctively accelerated my pace. I instinctively looked left and right to find the source of the sound. But I couldn't find anyone in here. Before I drove out to the yard inside the garage, only a few teams of technicians followed me to collect the work. But there is no human sign now. Where did the sound just now?

 

My eyes scrolled and stumbled upon a car that I was sure I hadn't seen here at first. I went straight to the burning orange RX-7 parked in the corner of the garage. Its hood opened as if it were waiting for a doctor to dissect. The iron cabinet for the tools was left open. And the most important clue is the big wrench that fell on the floor. There is no need to turn on the camera to waste time. I'm sure it was the cause of the noise just now. I glanced at the open door next to the garage. I saw a faint plume of smoke rising. My brain almost didn't stop thinking. Two legs led me out to the smoke without hesitation.

 

"Do you want it?"

 

Alan always says hello to me first. No matter when or with any younger brother, he will try to speak first. It may be his subconscious that orders everyone always to feel seen. Even on the day I don't like him, to the end. 

 

He overlooked, ignored, and abandoned me. But when the prejudice and resentment faded, I looked back with cloud-free eyes. The truth hit me, reinforcing how stupid I had been in the past, unable to see my brother's concern.

 

"It's okay, brother," I replied before sitting on the old iron crate that used to be an equipment crate. Now it's a smoking seat next to the garage. "I quit."

 

"There is almost no one left to smoke now," Pui Alan said flatly. His mouth said as if he felt alienated that he was a minority who still had to rely on that nicotine stick. But his hand still crawled to his mouth and sucked the smoke into his lungs as if he was going to announce his position.

 

"In the garage, I'm probably the only one who still smokes."

"Don't take this opportunity to quit?" I laughed and didn't take it seriously. What is said, "Well, the children have all broken up"

 

"Hmm... I'm thinking about it."

"Didn't Jeff tell me to quit?"

 

"No"

 

Another strange thing is that I may think a lot and assume too much about myself. But I can feel some of Alan's changing emotions. Before talking about Jeff, he always had bright rays emanating from his eyes, his facial expressions, and even his tone of voice. Everything makes me jealous. But now the radiation is weakened. Not completely extinguished, but the glittering was as it used to make me jealous. On the other hand, it's still gloomy, then heartbreaking. I don't know when this happened and why.

 

"Jeff is not the type to order me to do or do anything. Even if it's worried, it just says it's worried. Let's sit down and say Stop doing this. Do this. It's not done. It's not his business."

 

"It's weird, too, Jeff."

"I used to think it was strange, but now I'm used to it."

 

"If you look at it as an advantage, it's good that he gave it freedom."

"That's it. Jeff thinks I've grown up. If I'm not stupid, he rarely talks. What's so much? Let's think for ourselves."

 

At first, I was not drawn to Jeff because of his relatively closed and alienating personality. In addition, we still have something wrong because I fell in love with him until a big thing happened. Therefore, we are not very close. He also seems to hate me. But after the story ended, I had the opportunity to open up to Jeff about my stupidity. And sincerely apologised to him. At that time, I learned that Jeff is not just a heartless, stubborn child. He fully understands the nature of the world he lives in and the humans who breathe together. He is reasonable. And at the same time, he feels like a normal human. That day, when I apologised to him, Jeff didn't say anything for a long time. There is no lesson to be learned from each other. There is a flat face and calm eyes. After I finished speaking, he touched my shoulder lightly and nodded.

 

'I was wrong too' is just one sentence. But it turned out to be an autobiography that tells the story of the past and the future prophecy of my life since then.

 

He didn't say I was wrong, but he didn't say I was right either. He didn't say that this mistake was forgiven. He didn't say a word, good or bad. He didn't tell me to use it as a lesson. He just said that he had made mistakes as I had. He recognised that it was wrong. And that mistake was no longer considered a mistake because it only existed in the past, not the present or the future. That's the best advice I've ever received.

 

Because of that, I'm so happy from the bottom of my heart that Alan met Jeff. In the past, I couldn't imagine what the right person for Alan would look like until I met Jeff. Now I can define the person suitable for my brother as both a child and an adult. He is both a leader and a follower. He is a questioner and an answerer. And it's not because he has to take responsibility for a heavy role to be by Po Alan's side. But because my brother needs someone smart enough to know which gaps to fill and when his heart will work at its full capacity. What type of person is Jeff?

 

"It's good that you can quit. But wouldn't it be better if you didn't sit and sniff my smoke like this?" Pu Alan says.

 

"A little bit, it's okay."

"A little bit is good."

 

"Then you get up and run away from me."

"Then why don't you get up? I'll sit first."

 

I laughed and liked that it bothered him. At least when Po Alan spat out a curse, I could feel the faint aura of his identity. The old identity that I miss and expect to meet when I come back. Even if it's just a fraction of a second, it's valuable enough to moisten my heart. But it would be much better if that stable identity lasted forever. Don't just appear temporarily, like now.

 

"I quit smoking because when I was in prison, I used to kiss someone I hated in exchange for one cigarette."

 

I blurted out without a prologue. Even though I knew that the depressing story in my prison would make this brother act wrong, this is probably the only thing that a child like me is said to be more experienced than him. Alan turned to look at my face. He pursed his mouth lightly with nervousness. Those low eyes clearly showed that he was thinking of a good response to my story. But that sentence didn't exist.

 

"He looks like a drug addict. And he is probably a real drug addict because he can secretly put marijuana and cigarettes in. Both for personal use and to sell. Sometimes, in exchange for what you want. When I'm new, I want to smoke. A friend said that this guy is, so I tried to ask for it."

 

"And he asked for a kiss?"

"He asked for more than that, but I didn't take it, so he reduced it to just a kiss.

 

"Is it worth it? For just one cigarette?"

 

"For there, just one cigarette can change people's status." Po Alan made a guilty face whenever I talked about it in prison. Even though I tried to talk about it often, it seemed normal. But he didn't seem to get used to it easily. Probably because he was already sure that it was all his fault. Po Alan still shook off that stigma.

 

"If you say sorry again, I won't dare to talk to you after this time," I said before Alan opened his mouth. He would say the following sentence, which I'm familiar with. Well, and to be honest, I'm bored with it. If I don't give an ultimatum by today, I'll have to listen to it again for the rest of my life.

 

"Okay," Po Alan replied with a heartbroken face. But I'm glad to force him successfully. "I don't apologise anymore."

 

"I'm just telling you because I just want to tell you," I said while making eye contact with him, trying to find the flicker in his eyes. But it's a pity that it's too dark now to see. "There are many more embarrassing things than this. If I have to tell everyone, I won't be able to. But if it's with you, I'm very comfortable. I can still tell a lot more."

 

I don't dare say there is anything to tell me. For what reason, I don't know. That may pressure the other party to brainstorm to find my answer. He must be thinking hard about how to tell. What do I expect to hear? Which part should I tell? Which part should not be said? If I tell it out, how will I feel? How will I respond? Instead of getting more comfortable? I may make him feel more awkward. But if I tell him about myself, it could help open the door that is about to close. It can be opened again.

 

"Thank you."

 

But the method will not work as expected. Alan is still silent. There is no other answer but thanks. The only benefit I get from my embarrassing story is confirmation that something in Alan is changing. And it would be big enough. Otherwise, this brother would not be this stubborn. Honestly, Alan and I have known each other for a long time. I have seen him in all aspects. But this is the first time I feel I don't know him.

 

"You're so good, Dean. You've been through those things. Now you've grown up." The captain looked at my face. His face looked proud of me from the bottom of his heart. But at one moment, I felt he was blaming himself for every word of appreciation he gave. "I'm very proud of you. Next season, you'll have to do very well. I'm confident."

 

The saddest thing is that he fully believed in me, but didn't leave—not even with a fraction of confidence in himself.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

"Oh, look who's coming."

 

I cried in a clear voice when I saw the team leader walking into the lab with a fresh face. His face looked radiant like an innocent boy who had never had to face any danger on this planet, unlike those who had survived again and again, and whose hands had been stained with blood countless times. How amazing.

 

"Stop it, Chris." Charlie rolled his eyes at me. This group likes to find me sarcastic, even though I just talk normally. There is never any hidden meaning.

 

"What? Just say hello to yourself."

"Swear"

 

"If people don't feel that they have done something wrong, they probably won't interpret other people's words." I turned my gaze to the tablet to read the summary of the last experiment. Sitting cross-legged, leaning back on the backrest of the sofa comfortably. Because I don't know how to frown and make a serious face like a handsome young man standing in front of the door. "You overthink."

 

"Brother Chris"

"I thought you would be happy that Babe and I are good together."

 

"So when did we say that we didn't like it?"

"Does this mean you're happy?"

 

"Yes, can't you see it?" I answered casually, but Charlie sighed. He walked straight to his desk, put the bag on the table, and sat down. As soon as his butt was stamped on the chair, the sound of Charlie's cell phone vibrated slowly several times in a row. I didn't look up, but I realised Charlie secretly glanced at me, which only made me guess who the person who sent the message was. 

 

"Won't you answer?" I asked when I saw that Charlie was always sitting, staring at the bright phone screen, refusing to pick it up.

 

"You can leave it first," Charlie replied flatly, even though I could see he wanted to answer. Those messages are heartbreaking. "It's not urgent."

 

"You don't have to be considerate of us. This is serious."

"Are you angry that I returned to be good with Babe?"

 

"Nonsense," I replied, admitting I didn't pay much attention to what Charlie said. Because of some of the information Liu recorded, one point looked strange. And of course, it was a fascinating strangeness for me. "Do you think we like you? Or like Babe?"

 

"I'm not satisfied that I came to the lab less than before."It means you realise you pay less attention to the work here."

 

"It's not like that..."

 

"Hey, listen." Finally, I had to fold the research information first. Because, looking at it, Charlie probably won't let this go easily. Maybe it's my fault for bothering him too much. I forgot how annoying this young man was during the debate. 

 

"You reconciled with Babe or whatever, it's unimportant to us. You still work everything well as usual. Even if you don't come to sleep here like in the past. But the only thing that annoys us is that you having Babe makes you less careful. Now the situation around us is anything but normal. But you don't seem to notice it at all."

 

Charlie froze after I had been casting for a long time. And this is not a word that wants to squeeze him to feel guilty. I just tried to summarise and communicate with him using the simplest words I could before I forgot about the strange lab information Liu had given me an hour ago.

 

"Do we have to chase you to hear what's wrong?" Charlie shook his head. He should feel too guilty and ashamed to ask me to sort out all the irregularities that happened to him individually. Even if I didn't tell, a wise person like him used a brain full of notches to process it himself.

 

"Why didn't you tell me from the beginning?" he asked, confused. One of the feelings that I caught was guilt. Another was frustration. But I am unsure whether he is frustrated with himself, who was happy in a world with only him and his lover, until he forgot the real world for a while.

 

The world rotates every second, and there is no way to go back to that world. Our researchers are all gone, leaving only me, Touch, and Liu, who are still sitting here, not knowing what tomorrow will be like. The parking lot used to be full.

 

Today, it's clear again. The shoes that used to be placed on all the shelves are now full of slippers that haven't been changed, but like every day. Another lively sound from above became lonely. The number of coffee capsules in the dozen is the same as yesterday. And no breakfast box is waiting in the kitchen like every day because Touch and I have never come to the lab for breakfast.

 

"I tried," I replied, "but you turned off your phone all day yesterday. The only way to do it is if you can contact, you have to go to the house, which, of course, we don't do.”

 

The feeling of guilt must be heavy on Charlie. If it were yesterday, I admit I would have been very frustrated that Charlie lost his head when we needed him the most. When the rest of us had to answer the call from the researchers, who said they would not return to work. I wanted to drive him out to Babe's house. But when I arrived today, I didn't feel that way. Maybe it's because I'm not clingy, and you think so much. When I saw him move forward to the lab today, I thought this young man was just a child. And even if his responsibility is flawed, it may not cause a big problem. He is the person who has to have a headache and solve it. Therefore, even if I get angry, it's useless. Fighting passively and repeating himself should be more fun.

 

"I'm sorry"

Of course, Charlie's answer would not have been beyond expectations if he had not said this word. It would be considered a lack of conscience.

 

"I'm really with Babe," the talented boss admitted his fault to Dusdee. "He asked me to rest. Let me be with him. Cut off from everything. I think just one day will be okay, so...."

 

"I understand," I interjected, with annoyance at his explanation. "You work hard every day, so you want to rest. Especially now that you're back with your boyfriend, you must want to spend time with him as usual. Yesterday, we admitted that we were frustrated. But when we think of it like this, it's okay. Now I just want to know how you can solve the problem next."

 

"Now we have to find more researchers."

 

"I think it's too easy to think," I answered immediately. "He brought our researcher to raise the team. Do you think it is easy for us to find a new one?"

 

Reality is always painful. That's why I especially like to tell the truth. In some cases, this kind of behaviour is called 'axe'. Sometimes it is called rude and is out of time. And in many cases, it is called cruel, which, for me, is not considered a negative word at all. When I see someone who has to endure the cruel reality, it makes me feel indescribably satisfied.

 

"It's true," Charlie sighed. His eyebrows furrowed into a tighter and tighter knot. The expression now differs from the first and second that opened the door. "And really, there should be something else to worry about now than not enough people."

 

"Probably"

 

"How much do you think he can take out of them?" Another thing Charlie talked about was information leakage. The fact that our researchers were bought by people you know who brazenly did not only cause the problem of insufficient workers. However, the bigger issue with this change is that all the information is lost. Both related to research, experimental results, and our other plans have a very high chance of falling into the enemy's hands. Because people like that bastard probably don't just think about stealing researchers to fight against us or increase their strength. But it needs our most potent weapon: the information they don't have.

 

"At least it's the work process, research progress, and all the plans we've met. We'll tell the information in scenes if we want to sell it. But the numbers, formulas, and experimental plans are for the future. If these are not good enough to remember, they should be safe. After all, only you, Touch, and Liu can watch. As far as checking yesterday, the database looks normal. There are no signs of hacking. It may be comfortable. 

 

"No, I can't feel comfortable at all."

"Well, that's what I said. It's just a comforting word."

 

Charlie took a long breath. The reality seems to hurt him more strongly than the pink love that envelops him—the current situation. It can be called a crisis if you don't comfort yourself too much. One is that our researchers were suddenly brought in—the whole plan twisted and out of shape. The second is that the project's secret will be leaked is very high. But the small luck is that some vital information we only know is still (should) be safe. 

 

The last three weeks have been marked by movements on the opposite side, which looks strange. In the past, everything seemed calmer than usual. Even though we have just revealed vital information about the powerful, it is not complete, but it is considered a big bomb. The social trend in the hot online media is a topic of discussion today. Therefore, it is strange that the other side seems to be that there is no movement. 

 

For us, peace is not a sign of good. This security is more terrifying than the chaos of the past because it implies that the other party is doing something big or has already accomplished something.

 

"So where did Touch and Liu go?" Charlie asked.

"Went out and collected a little information."

 

"What information?"

"This is about research. We are going to start the next phase."

 

"Don't you want to tell me?"

 

"You don't have to worry about drugs, Charlie," I said flatly. Knowing that Charlie is a bearer. He won't let go. He wants to know and understand everything, but many times, it's like forgetting that we have many people, so he doesn't have to do everything alone. I'm trying to bend his habits like this all the time.

 

I still haven't seen the results. But if you don't give up yet, Charlie will be able to let it go later. At least trust others more than before. "There are many things you have to deal with. You can pay attention to those things. Whatever you do, buy as long as possible. We are sure it will succeed. But you need to give us a little more time."

 

Charlie's reaction was only silence. But I'm sure what I said has already travelled to his brain. Now it's only for him to process. Charlie will choose a smart way to be the central brain.

 

"After this, I'll have to leave it to you... Leave more than before." Even if it's a little bit, Charlie is still dead. He's still strong enough for me to believe him.

 

"This is what I want to hear," I replied while making eye contact with him firmly. I thought about my strangeness and just realised I was more dedicated to this than I intended to be. I am more committed and confident than my nature will allow me to be. From the beginning, it was purely personal. There are other reasons to infiltrate, such as my weakened mind. And all of this is because of the young man before me. But until now, I can't retreat anymore. If it doesn't crash, I have to wait.

 

A Miserable death, which shouldn't be my approach. Charlie spent about 3 hours sitting at the computer before asking to go back. He has too much to think about to sit in the lab. Or having to sit with me may put him under pressure, making his brain work harder than usual. He waved goodbye before Touch and Liu came back for a few minutes. I spent about an hour discussing the information the couple was asked to collect. Then we all dispersed to someone else's house. The house is because there is nothing that can be done now. Let's go back to stay. It's better to come back tomorrow.

 

I chose to walk in a garden, not far from the lab, instead of going straight home, even though walking in the garden doesn't seem compatible with me. But believe me, it's one of my favourite activities. The green garden at dusk always slows down my distracted mind.

 

If I say that my mind is unstable now because of the stressful situation at the lab, I would be right. Uncontrollable obstacles in research have popped up like mushrooms. Fewer people will help solve the problem than one finger. Everything came in a short time. Just listening to it makes my head hurt. But that's not all that makes me walk like a soulless person here. I'm coaxing myself to stop asking questions.

 

I've decided to do this to the end. Even though new goals are complicated to define, my original goal is still the one that brought me back, even though I was thinking of leaving everything and starting a new life. I used to believe that abandoning everything in the past would make me lighter and move forward faster. But that's not the case at all. In my world, every step is slow. I was held back by the burden I tried to cut off, but I can't. The more I work hard and run, the more tired I get. Competitors overtake people one by one, but I'm discouraged and regress. The future is blurry. One of my psychiatrist friends said. I don't want to let go of the past story, as I say. The feelings I tell anyone about anyone are just what I think I should feel. Not what I feel.

 

"I didn't do it" in the past to live in the present and see the future as you want. I've always seen it. The problem is that I originally intended to come back for myself. But now, in my head, I only have other people's affairs. I'm more worried about being a human being than ever before.

 

My trust in Charlie and the others is scaring me. I'm afraid of losing my identity. I'm worried that the concern for Athon will make me weak and in pain. I like my original life. I like the life that lives in the shield, where I have a clear boundary line. It's safe and peaceful. But now that boundary is blurring. An ugly enemy invaded the area that used to be mine. 'Friendship'. Just thinking about it makes me feel disgusted, and I want to vomit. But at the same time, I'm sitting on my vomit pile.

 

I hate that the mind works too much. I don't want to care. I don't want to keep anyone's story hurt as if it's my own thing. I don't want to be bound. Because those things are the illusion of stupid people. Fools who only care about roses are beautiful, so I want to be one of them. I want them. Ready to stand and hold the stem full of thorns. Then deceive yourself daily that I'm happy, even though my hands are soaked in blood.

 

I don't want to be a fool anymore.

"Will you follow me for a long time?"

 

All the time I walked sluggishly, letting my thoughts run to my senses, I was aware of every second. The sound of footsteps crunching on dry leaves, the feeling that an eye was staring from behind. I was always aware, waiting to see how far he would follow me. I walked around the garden until the sky was completely dark. Only the dark orange light from the light pole was on, leaving a distance along the corridor. Some periods were so far apart that they could hardly see the path. Some people heard only the sound from afar. The only sound closest to his footsteps was his footsteps.

 

"I'm not following you," he replied flatly. "I'm just going to walk this way anyway." I stopped walking and turned to look at him. Pete froze a little, but still kept his facial expression under control.

 

"Then can you walk first? People are walking behind me like this. It's uncomfortable."

 

"I didn't walk with you for a bit, just a long distance."

 

"If you don't follow, why keep a distance?" He has a billion dollars in his hands. But he is naive when he looks at me as if he has left everything —dignity and reason, or even the image. Every time we meet, he looks long and confused. The reason is not difficult to guess. But I can't think how long it will take for him to wake up from a dream.

 

"Okay, I admit that I'm following. But I swear I didn't mean to follow you here. I just happened to pass by and saw you walking alone. I want to say hello... But I don't dare."

 

"Why don't you dare?"

"I don't know... You seem to want to think of something alone."

 

"If you know that, you should leave me alone."

"I want to let go, but I'm worried."

 

His words are funny. Does he think that meeting by chance occasionally and contacting me about work will give him the right to care about me like that? Seeing this, I want to know even more about what young Way taught him. Why is he so soft to the world and thinks of such a shallow thing, even though he looks really smart?

 

"Why?"

"Yes?" Pete made a face.

 

"I asked why you were worried."

"Well, we... Got to know each other"

 

"Are you worried about everyone you know?" I just laughed, "You have a good heart."

 

"At least I've helped you set up many times."

"I thought you wanted to help Charlie again."

 

"But doesn't it make your work easier?"

"You will claim my merit.. So I have the right to worry about this?"

 

His lips trembled until he had to purse his mouth to hide his shyness. If you really want to fight, in this issue, he can argue until he can't easily beat me. But because of his lack of confidence, it's like I'm the one who chased and smashed my head every time.

 

Pete has indeed helped me again and again, both by allowing the Beyond Group to move into various campaigns, by inviting us to the shopping centre's opening ceremony, and by providing media space and funding. Which will use countless lines will help us do things that our ability alone can't achieve. Part of what makes us, who are outrageous, still float in a society full of power, is that we have Pete, who is powerful enough to play with those guys. So if you say he has merit with us, it's not too true. He just doesn't dare to brag.

 

"Pete, I thank you very much," I said. This is the first time I've called him by his name. For me, it doesn't mean anything other than wanting him to feel like he's half a step closer to me. But for him... I don't know about that either. "You really helped us a lot. If it weren't for you, we wouldn't have come this far."

 

"I have to do that anyway, you know, Charlie.."

 

"I know you want to help Charlie, want to help X Hunter, and I want to do it for Way"

 

Finally, he never said it directly. But I realised it from the first time we talked. In his mind, something is still holding him back, no different from me. Way's death is a big wound that has not healed. And Charlie's plan is a small way to make Pete feel he has done something to make amends that is not his own. But he chose to bear it himself. Because if he doesn't keep this sin, he may not have anything left to think about Way anymore.

 

"But you know that everything you make for me, it will be with me... I didn't send it to the way?"

 

I may be a door or a doll representing Way. I don't feel anything if he looks at me like that. Many times, it's fun to see hope in his eyes. But sometimes it's annoying, because it's like he really believes I'm a second chance for him and an invisible mistake in his heart. I can't afford to take a chance on anyone, even myself.

 

"I didn't do well by you because of Way," Pete argued in a stiff voice.

 

"You've never seen me as Way?"

 

"Never"

"Swear?"

 

He is still, of course.

 

"Pete", I called his name.

 

"Yes... Yes?" He replied with a sloppy answer.

"Do you want to kiss me?"

 

The space between us stopped. It was so quiet that we could hear cars on the street outside. The musicians' music turned into background music. If I remember correctly, it's the song "Black Beauty" by Lana Del Rey. Strangely, he chose to play this song. It's not a perfect song to sing. It's not catchy enough to attract most people's attention, but it's my favourite song. Charlie played this song so often when I was sitting at work that I remember it. What can I do?

 

Life is so beautiful. But he can't seem to see it at all. I feel like it's talking to me. Not just the mouth blows through the ears, but penetrates my chest, grabs my heart and injects those words into every room. Remind me that I vent the sky to a black knife in every suffering. The sky is still blue every day. I know that. Only when I look up at it now. The bright blue colour is not as good as the black knife. I like it.

 

"Why did you ask that?" His voice sounds awkward. I would like to listen to music. It's better from outside the fence. "Are you going to tease me?"

 

"No," I shook my head slowly. "I really asked."

"Why?"

 

"I feel like you might want to do that."

 

"So, do you want it?"

"So you really want to, right?"

 

"Chris, if you want to play with my feelings, I beg you to stop." He tried to interpret the meaning of every word and my actions, even my breath and movement, which is the most hollow. He still tries to find the cause and effect. But I don't know. I'm not going to play with his feelings.

 

"I think the person who plays with other people's feelings is more likely to be you, Pete." I walked awkwardly. In less than five steps, I stopped standing in front of him. Pete stiffened. He seemed to have stopped breathing. "You came to be nice to me even though I can't forget the old one like this. Don't you think it's a little mean?"

 

We stood in the middle between two light poles. The dark orange light did not reach us in a small area in the shadow. I attached my lips to the same part of the young man as him. He seemed to be shocked. So I didn't get any response from him. But even so, I considered it a good kiss. Because at least I forgot the heavy feeling that weighed in my heart before, for a moment.

 

"If I really feel for you, the worst person is you."

In my dark life, he is the only fun that I can grab without pain.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

"I'm back."

 

My greeting is softer than usual, but it is considered very good for the day. The living room is empty, and there is no sign of the owner of the house. But all the cars parked in front of the house are still there. Therefore, I can be sure that Babe didn't go anywhere. He should be on the second floor.

"Wait a minute!"

 

As expected, the homeowner's response came from the second floor. I didn't answer anything. I just dragged my heavy feet and threw them down on the sofa, exhausted, even though I didn't do anything today except sit in front of the computer, read information, argue with Dr Chris, and drive back. But I feel like I just came back from the battlefield. Less than three minutes later, I heard footsteps running down the stairs.

 

"Why did you come back so early?" Babe walked up to me. He, who kept moving closer and closer, made me feel like crying indescribably. The more I saw the cute smile, the more sensitive I felt, as if someone had touched my shoulder and asked, "Was it okay?" On the day of encountering bad things all day.

 

"Did you finish your work today?"

 

I didn't know how to answer. Suddenly, my throat narrowed for a moment. I looked at his face and opened both arms. Babe smiled widely as soon as he saw my attitude. He ran short to stand between my legs before pulling me into a hug. I turned my face down to his warm stomach. The familiar smell makes me feel amazingly safe and relaxed.

 

"Did you miss me?"

 

I think Babe would like to ask if I'm okay, but this is the way he communicates best.

 

"Yes, I miss you so much," I replied, even though I was still tucked into his stomach, secretly kissing him a few times in nostalgia. Of course, Babe didn't say anything about my wilfulness. And I've only left the house for more than three hours. "What did Babe do  just now?"

 

"Guess it"

"Up to the bedroom until now... Doing something strange for sure."

 

"Don't you think I'm sleeping?"

"Shouting in response to such a loud voice should not sleep."

 

"I know it all," Babe gritted his teeth and said, like it was a child's fangs. I liked it while raising my hand to rub my head until it was fluffy. Receiving his favour made me feel like the most valuable person in the world, even though I was just a child who pushed every day. "I talked about the car with Alan, so I went up to use the computer above."

 

"What else, car?" I looked up at him. I was surprised that Babe was confused about the car again. Even though he gave it to me a few days ago, my RX 7 is handsome—the powerful machine from Alan's customisation. Plus, the sound is also beautiful. Babe provided the specifications I requested on time, as agreed. Although at first I didn't expect much. But when I saw that Babe did it like that, I couldn't help but be proud. 

 

"Repurchasing a car?"

"I haven't decided yet. Just try to ask if Pu Alan can find it for you."

"What if you can find it?"

 

"I bought it."

 

"That's it." I opened my mouth to snap his stomach, but missed it, so I only got a shirt. I saw that I had to be fat. I'll get a little fatter. "Why did you buy so much? I don't have to keep anymore."

 

"I will leave it at the showroom."

"Po Alan will expand the showroom soon if Babe hasn't stopped buying."

 

"Then expand it."

 

Babe is not a bit that his endless passion will create problems later. The stubborn habit of wanting to get it is not easy to solve, especially in the case of Babe, who doesn't want to fix it, the bigger it is. One day we will take the car to sell it. If it's sold out, there will be food for the whole nation. Babe should not be a problem anyway.

 

"Which model are you looking at?" I stopped arguing about the story of knowing that there will be no winning. Before pulling the beautiful racer down to sit on his lap, Babe chuckled in like. Leaning his head on my shoulder, he quickly kissed my neck. He is like a pleading kitten with no fault. I am one of the lucky ones in a million who accidentally adopted a cat.

 

"Skyline"

"GTR?"

 

"Three four"

"What is this... Are you suddenly in a Japanese car?"

 

"Well, Papa has RX," Babe said sweetly. Warm and hot hands caressed my chest and throat. And still don't forget to stop by my ears to play again. Today, Babe is full of style. He has to buy something to drive with you."

"Does every car have to be paired?"

"Of course"

 

"Wasteful"

"But it's cute."

He didn't realise that he had a pair of cars that were not cute half of himself now. Repeatedly, I realised that my fatigue had entirely gone. I just came back to see your face.

 

We have caressed each other and argued a little bit. I don't want anything more in my life. If the prayer to the sacred really works, I would wish our peace to last forever. But because I know that life doesn't work like that, I have to put my energy into a plan that makes my loved ones cry over and over. If in the end we have to die to meet heaven or hell, I hope that the caretaker there will understand the sins I have committed with this intention.

 

"I love you so much, Papa," said Babe while kissing all over my face, imprinting the edge, lips everywhere. When there was no space left, he repeated tirelessly. 

 

"How can I live without my Papa... I can't live."

 

I'm more than I have to say that. I can't live... Without him

 

I've always thought about it, but I tried to stop myself from saying it. I know these words will make him happy and appreciate my love. But at the same time, the price to pay is too much. I don't want to bind him with the word love. I don't want to hang my life on the bond we share. Because if one day fate betrays us, he will be hurt badly. And that's the future I'm most afraid of.

 

"I love Babe, too."

 

I can only do this much.

"May I have a Babe in my life forever?"

 

At the end of the plea, I put a kiss on his soft lips instead of confirming his intention. Along with hugging him in his arms, send feelings through deep kisses, hoping he will realise that no matter what our future holds, we will be together. He will be my only love. It can't be destroyed or replaced. I have chosen to dedicate my life. All the rest to him, whether he loves or hates me

 

I had the intention. I also promised Jeff that it would not be an unnecessarily received chain. But now, curiosity has power over everything. I never thought that I would be this weak. Weak enough to want confirmation from the future that everything will be fine. While the mouth is still grinding, kissing, sucking, drinking, my palm touches the upper arm of Babe. The mind is focused on the image of the event that has not yet come firmly. I have forgotten my own intentions. Forget the promise made to my brother. I am secretly watching the future of Babe for my own peace of mind.

 

Hundreds of animations poured into my brain. Within seconds, I sank into the dark sea of time, swimming in fear, choking on many unexpected possibilities, before this kiss ended with me being pulled back to the present.

 

"How can it not be?" He smiled at me, transferring the warmth from the palm of his hand to my cheek. I should be delighted with the promise he gave. But in fact, my heart is shaking terribly. "There must be... It's already there forever."

 

I smiled at him. While in my heart... Fear is fusing into the ocean.

 

"That's good." I smiled at him. While in the head... It was clearly splashed with images of the future that I shouldn't have been awkward in the first place.

 

"Hearing this, I feel a little relieved."

 

I still pray the same prayer over and over again, even though I can clearly see the image of the future.

 

He doesn't have a face included in it.