PitBabe series2

Charlie took me into his room (which used to be the lab's shared bedroom). The belongings in the room do not seem to have been arranged properly. If you had to guess, Charlie would have been here, only intended to stay here temporarily, at least until he found a new address. Initially, the room was not very big. Because it was designed for researchers to sleep on a late-night working day until they were too lazy to go home, or to use it to nap during the day. The living space is even less when Charlie's belongings are lined up. In addition to the bed and around the desk, there is only enough space left to stand, a three-point bed of five feet. A big child like Charlie, who sleeps alone, is full.

 

The condition of Charlie's room makes me sad. Even though I know it's just a temporary accommodation. And Charlie has enough money to find a better place without difficulty. But having to realise he didn't sleep in a comfortable bed like he used to, even just for one night, makes me feel bad. Maybe it's like he can't stand to see my mosquito bites. Even if he realises that this is not a big deal. I didn't die just because a few mosquitoes bit me. I also know that Charlie lives in this room, which is not bad. But I can't help but wait in his heart anyway. I hate it when he has to struggle. I hate it when he uses shoes. Old or public cars that don't even have air conditioning. Other people may not see it as a big deal. Even Charlie himself doesn't care about those things. But I can't bear to look at them.

 

"Stop staring. I've seen it a hundred times and still don't get excited?" Charlie walked over to open the closet where clothes hung inside. It shouldn't be more than four or five pieces. He pulled a white T-shirt out of the hanger and put it on carelessly, as if it would prevent me from staring any longer. Which I just realised when he said that he accidentally stared too much.

 

But you have a good figure. Why can't I look at it?

 

"I've only seen naked boyfriends. I've never seen my naked ex-boyfriend." I shrugged my shoulders without shaking with Charlie's low eyes. Walking and dragging my feet on the bed without asking the room owner, because I already know that Charlie doesn't care. Even if it's not me, the room is so narrow. Where should I sit? 

 

"Every boyfriend has the same body," Charlie squinted at me. After wearing long pyjamas, it's not just a towel like at the beginning. "I only had the one boyfriend."

 

Even if I want to argue, I can't argue. I felt slightly embarrassed when Charlie emphasised that he was my only boyfriend. I seem weak in relationships, and I am no different from him. If we must accept each other, Charlie still appears more tactful in relationships than I am.

 

"You're the only one with me, too."

 

"Yes," Charlie easily admitted. "I don't have a problem." I'm very annoyed with Charlie, who is like this. When I was dissatisfied with something he said to me, he accepted it as if he felt nothing, and when I said so, he repeated the same word. Once he said that I was picky about unnecessary things. Because I vacuumed my car repeatedly and scolded North for taking snacks to eat in the car (his own), at that time, I was furious when I was called. 

 

Being a picky person. I don't like to be choosy because it's an annoying habit. Plus, he looks like an older man. So I said, 'Ming is picky too. Just the crooked curtains can't sleep.' But instead of Charlie getting angry, he nodded and said quietly, 'Yes, I'm already picky.' I can tell you that it's almost annoying—the highest. Just thinking about it, it's still in my head.

 

"So what's the conclusion?" While I kept muttering and scolding him, Charlie was the one who opened the issue himself. Looks like he probably wants me to hurry up and leave here. "Come and say it now. Can't you wait for tomorrow?"

 

"Waiting for tomorrow, I can't sleep."

 

Charlie was silent. He stared at me still. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed as if there was a mark. A question popped up in his head, but he hesitated to ask.

 

"What?"

That's why I'm the one to ask instead.

 

"No," Charlie refused. Ultimately, he decided it would be better not to ask, but the more he saw that Charlie didn't want to discuss it, the more he realised that Charlie wanted to ask. The more I wanted to know what it was about. "Nothing"

 

"Ask me"

"Nothing."

 

"If you want to know anything, just ask me, so you don't have to wait until you get drunk and then call. Come again, "I used Charlie's words for the second time. I didn't intend to attack him. Just speak with honest feelings. I know that he has many things he wants to say to me. But I chose to ignore that need because I think it would not be appropriate to talk to each other now, and I agree. We broke up. I don't want him to mess with my affairs again. But that's the case where he hides the symptoms that

 

'Like caring, ' he realistically said, not doing it again in front of me like this.

 

"Sorry for calling. Go stir," Charlie said in a flat voice. He wouldn't think I would bring up that night and probably want me to act like it never happened, but why do I have to do as he wants? "Next time, I will be more careful."

 

"It's good to know," I just responded to his apology. Before continuing to ask, "and conclude, What do you want to ask? Ask me."

 

"It's nothing. I want to know about sleeping." I can understand that Charlie looked brave and afraid to ask about this. He probably thought it might be too intrusive. I thought I would be angrier as well. But I don't know why it became a faint, cloudy feeling instead. "I saw Babe saying that he was afraid that he would not be able to sleep tonight. So I want to know if you slept all the time last night, right?"

 

"So what do you want me to be?" I tilted my head to ask, made eye contact with him, and Charlie didn't hide from my eyes either. "When you don't have me, you can't sleep at all... Like that?"

 

"I hope that Babe can sleep normally," Charlie replied firmly. I felt like we were fighting—fighting in a battle, I didn't know what to win, but everyone didn't want to give up.

 

"Other things don't worry too much. I know Babe can take care of himself. But sleeping is not the same. Babe can't control it...."

 

"I can sleep. I just need to take the script.”

 

I can't bear to listen to him say that anymore. The more I talk, the more Charlie seems to care about me. He still cares about me as he has always been. This may be his true feelings that can't be easily erased. I won't force or order him to feel anything; I don't want to recognise.

 

It's hard enough.

 

"How do you sleep?" Charlie continued to ask. He knew I didn't want to talk about it, but he still pulled and push "Take medicine, right?"

 

He knew everything but still asked.

 

"So, is there any other way?"

 

This time, Charlie was the one who lowered his eyes. I knew what he was thinking. At a time like this Only a few thoughts run through his head. And one of them must be. This is our fault. He has always been like this. Whatever is my business. Charlie sees it as all his responsibility. And I'm not sure how I feel. How Charlie is like that. Previously, I still had the idea that I wanted Charlie to know how difficult it is without him. I want him to feel guilty for making me a person who can't sleep alone. I want him to feel guilty for deciding to break up, too. But when I see that feeling in his eyes. I feel disgusted with myself while Charlie thinks only about me. I think of myself.

 

"Anyway, one day I have to learn to sleep alone," I said to break the awkward silence. "People can't rely on others forever. Even if we didn't break up, there must be days when I have to sleep alone."

 

Charlie remained silent. He lowered his head to look at the ground as if he were holding back his overflowing sensitivity. I sympathised with him. But at the same time, I was relieved that Charlie didn't change into a different person, as I was afraid. Even though there are some things that I'm not familiar with, many things remain the same—at least the care he gave me. Even if I tried to lock it up, I still felt it.

 

"What should I do if I don't give you medicine?" I continued to ask, "Will you go back to sleep with me? Really?"

 

"What about it?"

"No, I can't."

 

I answered impromptu. Charlie looked up and met my eyes. His eyes were still, but he was spreading out some mass. I think he was dissatisfied and embarrassed that he couldn't do anything about it.

 

"We can't break up and act like broken people and then come back to sleep together. How can it be? Isn't it a little funny?"

 

"So what's the difference between Babe doing it?"

"What did I do?"

 

"Well, I'm coming to see you now." The frustration is clearly shown in Charlie's posture. I'm not surprised. I already know that if I came to see him, we would quarrel. Because if there is no reason to quarrel, there is no reason to meet. "Tel. Come and drive me late at night to sit on my bed. This doesn't look like a breakup."

 

"It's not the same."

"What's not the same?"

 

"You came to mess with my affairs unnecessarily. But I came here because you broke the promise," I argued stiffly. No matter what, I refuse. "The promise doesn't only take effect when we're dating. Who told you that if we broke up, you could do anything?"

 

"But it's my business."

 

"But you promised me!" I know that Charlie must be even more annoyed if I raise my voice at him, but neither of them is in a good mood anyway. Now, but the mind will take it. I've been recording all day, too. "You promised not to say that. Don't let anyone know. What the hell are you today? Why do you say that about yourself? Are you going to get back at me?"

 

"Why should I go get it back?" Charlie's face was busy. From being frustrated, he has probably climbed to the point of the head. "I'm just talking about me. How can I attract so much attention if I don't talk about myself?"

 

"Do you have to do this?"

"I can do more than that."

 

My chest is all hot. Charlie's eyes indicate that he is serious. Now he seems to be interested in anything other than his own goals. Even I may no longer be a variable in his decision. Most of all, it would be a burden. An obstacle that slowed his progress to the finish line.

 

"It means what will happen to me next. You don't care anymore, do you?" Even though the answer is scary, I still want to hear it from his mouth. Maybe if Charlie says Come out by yourself, " he will not care about me. Will not pay attention to any promises made to each other again. It may be easier to do it. Maybe I may hate him.

 

"Well, Babe told himself that if we broke up, we should act like a broken-up person." Why?

 

Why don't you hate me anymore?

 

"I know we won't sleep in the same bed anymore."

 

I want to know how long it will take for his story to become small in my life. When will he not be that important? When will his words be just a breeze and not hurt me anymore?.

 

"But I don't think it's just a promise as a person in your life.. You treat me. No."

 

Charlie seems to have no words left in his head. He doesn't argue, doesn't make excuses, doesn't ask for sympathy. He just kept quiet, silent, to answer whether what I said was correct. From now on, every promise will be void. My words are worthless to him. And no matter how bad I feel about his actions, Charlie won't look back again.

 

I probably should have known this since the day we broke up. Because if he chose me, we would never break up. The whole story is clear from there. There is only I who still hopes for a bit of fibre that he may be left as a person who used to love each other. But now I know that it doesn't exist. The concern just now is probably just a habit. He used to think of me as his own, like a bodyguard who has protected the boss for a long time. Until one day, the instinct of protection may still be left. But one day it will disappear. Disappear.... From feelings and each other's lives.

 

"I won't do anything to make it affect Babe," Charlie said with a flat expression, even a sense of guilt. Now I can't feel it from him. "I'll only talk about me. As for the story about us breaking up, I won't say anything. If Babe wants to say it, say it, no matter what. Anyway, I will accept it."

 

"Even if I lie?"

"Yes"

 

"What if I say that you are the one who cheated on me?"

 

"So I'm a cheating person." Charlie's eyes didn't shake even a little bit. No matter how I slandered or moulded the body, he seemed to accept everything. I hope that this will be a ransom for the broken contract. I really couldn't believe it with someone like him. "If Babe wants to say that anyway, it's fine. I won't deny anything."

 

His serious posture, like a sacrifice, makes me laugh. I know the situation doesn't look good. It's not suitable for having a sense of humour, but I can't help it.

 

"Do you think anyone will believe me?" I said with laughter, "Don't pour it. You already know that no matter what I say, people will never believe it." 

 

It's funny that Charlie acts like a hero, ready to smear for me. Even in the real world, he is a hero without trying anything. Even if he doesn't sacrifice or gild the back of the monks for me, people still admire him. Because he is Charlie. Charlie is a good person whom everyone accepts without a doubt. As for me, I've been stigmatised as lowly. 

 

Think about it, if I announce that we broke up because Charlie was unfaithful, in the end, the person who will be attacked must be me. Who would believe that a child like Charlie would cheat? Even me? If I say I was a cheater, I still think it looks more believable.

 

"Don't worry, I won't do anything difficult for you either." I got up and strolled towards him, close to an inappropriate distance. But Charlie didn't back down. He stood in contact with my eyes without fear, like waiting to see what I would do next. "I just want to know if you still care about me. But now I know you don't care. That's all."

 

"Babe..."

"If you don't care, I don't care, Charlie. Whatever you want, do it."

 

I raised my hand to his cheek. I move my face towards him before pressing a kiss on his lips. The touch of his kiss is still soft as always. Just touching it gently invites me to soften his heart. Charlie didn't refuse the kiss. But what was more shocking than that, when I left, he also moved to ask for a kiss again, as if it wasn't enough. If you don't touch each other, it's okay, but once you get a chance, it's hard to stop.

 

"It will be a long time before I kiss someone else, and I can't think of it not being you,” I whispered close to his lips. He didn't run away. But he didn't allow me to touch him anymore. Even though Charlie raised his hand to wrap my waist, he could only do so.

 

"Are you going to kiss someone else?" Charlie whispered in a loud voice. I don't know if it's your own idea. No, but his tone is mixed with a little pleading in my perception.

 

"Yes," I replied, "Why... Can't you?"

"It can't be forbidden anyway."

 

"Yes, what right do you have to forbid it?" I just laughed. I like that Charlie looked a little more sensitive when I said I would kiss someone else. I don't know if he will still feel jealous of me. But there is a bad mood for sure. Even a reasonable person like Charlie runs away from selfishness. This style is not. "Single people can do anything."

 

"Babe is more suitable for being single."

"Probably so, there is no one to take care of it, it must be more comfortable."

 

"I don't control Babe at all."

"You'll know again."

 

I'm not challenging. I don't want to be silly to get him back. This is just a small celebration after being alone again. And it's considered a review for Charlie in case he forgot the single version of PitBabe.

 

"Just don't do anything that will be difficult for yourself." Charlie knew that he couldn't stop me, so he could only say that. His big palm squeezed my waist as if he was using it as a mood control tool, which I didn't know if it would help cool down or make it hotter. "This is enough."

 

"Who is tired? I'm not tired at all."

"It's good if you're not tired."

 

Charlie took a deep breath before slowly pushing me away. I didn't push up, but I still stared into his eyes. Even though the other party tried to lower his eyes, I guess he would want to do more. Whether it's hugging, kissing, or something more than that, he had to try to use reason to tie his emotions. Don't let it go out of control until problems follow later.

 

"Babe, go back." Charlie's voice is as low as in the live. I understand why he tried, in the past, to speak with a higher voice than his natural tone. Because this low voice is difficult to hear. Some words seem to stop in the throat. Not coming out of the mouth, but even so, I don't deny that it's so sexy that I want to listen to him say a lot more. 

 

"Why... What are you going to do secretly?" I can't help but poke him. The more I see a faint nervousness on his face, the more I want to make him suffer. "Help Is it?"

 

"No need."

"Really?"

 

I tilted my neck to look at him and gently touched his upper arm because I knew that it would make the distraction hidden inside him explode harder than before. Even if my heart was still full of anger or love, I admitted without shame that Charlie is now cute. Worthy of being teased the most He wants but doesn't want to admit that he wants. Because of dignity and principles, he won't let himself go out of the way, even to the tip of his nails.

 

But just for a moment, I thought that the shadow in Charlie's mind could swallow Charlie. He leaned his face down and tucked into the corner of my neck. Drag the tip of his nose on my body awkwardly until I  felt the hot breath that was blowing more and harder as well as the sound of his breath.

 

Charlie seems to be smelling my body to ease the longing that is crying out. But instead of helping to fill it, the more he sniffs back, the more he wants it more than before.

 

I tilted my neck to open the way for a young boy who accidentally raised his hand to squeeze the soft hair that had just been cut. It was still a little damp, but it didn't spoil the mood. The feeling is similar to when we had sex in the bathroom at home or at the pool of  P’Alan. The smell of shampoo and the smell of shower cream on Charlie's body are floating. And it must have stuck to my body already because our bodies are close to the ruffles, and the air is still hard to squeeze through.

 

Charlie seemed to lose his mind for a moment.

 

"No..."

 

But then, finally came back to consciousness. He gently pushed me away while he was still panting because of the emotions that were awakened. I came up, but I can't do anything but restrain myself.

 

"Can't anymore... This can't be like this." Charlie is really hard-hearted.

 

Even if I want to keep doing it, I don't mind. But because the reason is stronger than the needs of the body, Charlie chose to push me back out of the room. Whispering softly without looking at my face 'Don't go down to deliver' and immediately closed the door in my face instead of getting angry. But I found that this was more fun than I thought.

 

This is the breakup experience of people who are boyfriends. Angry is angry, sad is sad, but just being close is enough. Everything is like a heart. Easy to stick and all go in the way. I know that I should be away, but I long for it too much.

 

I looked down at my palm. The touch of his damp hair was still there. And because I didn't think, I raised it up to inhale. The smell of shampoo was still faintly attached as I thought. It still felt like Charlie. Even though he was standing on the other side of the door, my body still recognised his warmth, which embraced me tightly.

 

Looks like tonight, there is something to sleep for again.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

Today, I woke up earlier than usual. The alarm clock was set for nine, but I woke up at half past seven and couldn't go back to sleep. So I went out for a run early in the morning. When I was satisfied, I came back to take a shower and sat down to work downstairs. The others brought the sub in at about half past nine. P'Touch arrived first every day. Followed by Liu, like a pattern. And of course, the last one was Dr Chris, a strange person who didn't wake up late, didn't dress late, but liked to come late. I was the last one because I thought people who arrived early were losers.

 

While I was sitting and editing a video to promote the next campaign, Liu came by and walked around my desk in a pastel green dress. At first, I intended to ignore her. But because she didn't have a spark to stop, I had to take my eyes off the event to look at the doctor who came to trouble me so early in the morning.

 

"What?" I asked my voice.

 

"What did you do last night?" Liu pointed at my face. Her face was normal, but her attitude looked very confident that something had happened to me last night, even though I hadn't told anyone yet.

 

"Huh?" I think the tone should be adjusted a little lower. The eyes shouldn't be as wide as they are now. But it doesn't seem to be in time. Liu caught my doubt from the first moment. That made eye contact, I guess "What are you doing? No, this."

 

"Who did you bring?"

 

What the hell is this?

 

How did Liu know?

 

"What?" At the moment, I was thinking of an excuse until my head almost exploded. The person I didn't want to meet the most in this situation opened the door. Dr Chris walked over, holding a cup of coffee. The famous Doctor joined the conversation with Tha Sanok, who was interested in "What are we talking about?”

 

"Nothing..."

 

"Charlie brought someone I don't know to the lab last night" Liu didn't give me a chance to excuse myself, and also turned in a report to the news for everyone else.

 

"'Uh." Of course, the strange doctor's eyes immediately sparkled. Doctor Chris smiled.

 

Grim for me before teasing, "I just became single, do you want it?"

 

"Right?" The little doctor's mother nodded in agreement until her ponytail was blown away, and this was the first time I wanted to try pulling a woman's hair once, but it was forbidden.

 

"Worse than I thought. I understand why I can't be with Babe."

 

"It's a big mess. I didn't bring anyone." I still insist on the original answer. Even though it's a lie, this should be easier than sitting down and explaining from beginning to end. I don't have that much time. And I don't want to go into detail about Babe with others. Let it end last night. "'Liu Amome, don't believe too much, Chris."

 

"What's wrong with Mome? Don't insult me." Liu narrowed her eyes and pointed at my face unexpectedly for accidentally insulting Nimit, Yanathip, or whatever energy, depending on her superhuman.

 

"We can feel it from the time we walk in. You had sex last night."

 

"Wow," Dr Chris covered her mouth with big eyes. That's one of the responses I hate.

 

"What kind of sex? No, are you crazy?"

"None, but almost there is."

 

The more Liu said, the more I felt like I was cornered. I don't believe in astrology, superstition, horoscopes, or the gods that Liu respects. But many times, her predictions give me goosebumps. I try to find the reason behind it, like a magician, to prove it with Science. But until now, I still can't catch anything. Only this doctor catches me harder every day.

 

"Oh, I don't argue." Not only the doctor's mother, but the real doctor helped catch me again.

 

Dr Chris seems to be happy that Liu exposed me. He wouldn't be so shocked even if I told him, 'I was with Babe last night. 

 

"I'll have it or not. What are you guys busy with?"

 

"It doesn't matter to anyone. It's up to you. Just say that you had it. You're up by yourself." Liu said without remorse that she used her astrology skills to invade other people's privacy. I think our country should have police to catch the Mu people.

 

"It's true, it's just that you have a new boyfriend. I don't think it's a big deal at all," Dr Chris supported.

 

While sucking Americano, I feel comfortable.

 

"Not a new boyfriend." I'm getting tired of arguing. I can only drag my voice and give in to the pressure of a cruel society.

 

"Friend with Benefit?" The mouth said it was not a big deal, but Dr Chris chased me relentlessly. Teenagers are a hormonal age. It's useful to have friends like this.

 

Hey"

"Oh, it's not..."

 

"Oops!" Once again, I didn't get a chance to defend myself. Liu grabbed my head and turned to her so hard that my throat almost fell out. The green-dressed doctor stared at my face before opening her eyes wide. She would now shout 'Eureka' if born in ancient times.

 

"Ex-boyfriend!"

 

Okay, after this project, the next subject I will study is astrology. I can't deny it if it is as accurate as the eye sees it.

 

"Wow... This morning, there was a lot of fun." Dr Chris just laughed. He looked fun and, as expected, was not shocked by Babe, which may not be surprising. Because I lived yesterday, it was considered a big deal. And had a lot to do with Babe. It's not strange that he wouldn't stay alone and attack and yell at me in the middle, late at night, like "have the strength to work"

 

"Really," Liu nodded in agreement. "Charlie's name is still the number one trend. Almost doubled the followers, and Charlie returned to reconcile with Babe."

 

"That's not the last one."

 

I refused, but it seems that Liu won't buy that rejection. She shrugged her shoulders carelessly before panting for food to go to the second floor. After shaking her hair early in the morning.

 

"How is the current trend?" When Liu walked away, the situation downstairs returned to peace. Doctor Chris didn't point at me in the morning. He sat on the sofa, leaning back to drink coffee in a relaxed posture. So I relied on this rhythm to follow my work yesterday. "I was busy yesterday; I didn't have time to watch it."

 

"The highest number of live viewers was near the end of sixty-nine. The trend has remained at 1 since the start of the live. Some people focus on changing. Excited about the handsomeness and interested in what you say. People began to discuss and share their experiences about people with more sense." Dr Chris made a detailed report. At the same time, his hand was still scrolling on his phone, which made me realise he hadn't written down the answers to my questions. He was playing on his Mobile phone while talking to me more. The baby's name was talked about quite a lot. There is a part. You came out about this because it was related to Babe. You changed because you broke up with Babe, or not. I asked for a break—part of it. I think you broke up with Babe to establish a rhythm when talking about the project. Hmm... What else?"

 

The duration of only about twenty minutes that I sit and speak on the live can be interpreted as one million eight. Each person is interested in different points. Some people are interested in my changing appearance. Some people are interested in the story of my relationship with Babe. Some people are interested in what I say. And among those interested in the content, some still interpret it and draw different assumptions. 

 

For now, no matter how many opinions there are, I consider it successful. The main purpose of yesterday's live is to call as many people as possible; understanding may still be scattered, but it's not a big deal. I want them to be interested in me. After this, I will gradually narrow down the encirclement until everyone walks into the core I want to communicate with.

 

"Oh! Adults are starting to pay more attention to you. There are academics and MPS. Come out and move a lot of people," Dr Chris continued. Hearing that, my heart is much more moist. Standing in the light like this is not my favourite thing. If I had a choice, I would rather sit quietly behind me. But if I want to make a change, there is no method that works as well as this one. 

 

I have several followers in my hands. Even in the past, I hardly moved anything. But the number of followers continues to increase every day. Therefore, if I don't take this advantage as a strategy, there would be no other word to call it except for the word stupid.

 

"It's good to say, but you must be more careful. Now you're going to be a bone. Block the neck of many capitalists. Don't expect to live in peace."

 

"Ugh... I knew it from the beginning." I decided to accept this situation from the first day of planning. Doing this is no different from targeting myself. I know that well, and I'm ready to take full risks. I want it to bring me closer to the goal. Continue with just one cent. I will do it without hesitation.

 

"If I hope to stay calm, I wouldn't do anything like this when I'm doing anything much calmer."

"I think it's a racer's bloodline. I like excitement."

"Probably"

 

"Do you hire a bodyguard?"

"Don't be too much," I laughed. "I can handle this."

 

"If you say it, it's okay." Dr Chris is not stubborn. As long as we work together, the only thing he doesn't give up on me is the overdose. As for other things, he trusts me more than I trust myself. Especially about punching. After hitting, he often calls me a gangster even though I'm not that good at all. "Save yourself, then"

 

"If you are worried, come and protect me."

"No, we're not a gangster like you." See, he sees me as a gangster.

 

"If you want someone to protect you, contact your ex-boyfriend. I saw that that person is good at punching and hitting." Even though he thought he would forget about it, he still found something to return to. Over the past few days, everyone called Babe 'your ex-boyfriend’ like that. Until it almost became Babe's new name. Many times, I felt that it was often used in sarcastic sentences. Now I wonder if everyone didn't like me to break up with Babe. Why are you so diligent?

 

"Two people together should rule the world."

"Sometimes I keep talking too."

 

"To be honest."

 

"Where did you say I was only about Babe until it didn't work?" I asked back about his words several weeks ago. Dr Chris said I didn't dare to make a decisive decision because I was still thinking about Babe. At that time, I was secretly thinking about whether he looked at Babe as an obstacle to me. And I was a little angry that he looked at my boyfriend like that. But after learning that Babe and I had broken up, I never heard the doctor talk about Babe like that again. Or deep down, he admires Babe. But he doesn't dare to express himself. 

 

"It's true, but you're the strongest when you have a bee too."

 

Quite beyond expectations. That doesn't seem to be a word that can come from Dr Chris's mouth.

 

"Me seriously, sometimes we don't like you when you don't have a Babe. You're like Flirting, I don't know how to date."

"Eh"

 

I was speechless. I didn't think he would look at me like that. And I didn't understand at all, which part makes Dr Chris see me as an adulterer? Even though I've always been the same. Just changing the style of dressing will make people look at each other. That's size—even the first boyfriend. I'm not even the one to flirt. Suppose it's not because Babe is weak in love, either. I think people like me shouldn't have girlfriends like others. Meeting Babe is considered lucky.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

I never understood the concept of seeing someone as an idol. Since childhood, my father has often said that admiring others is good. But don't let yourself be fascinated or worship them as an idol. At first, I didn't understand. I didn't even know the meaning of the word idol. So I tried to do a little bit of research. Until I found that the direct meaning of 'idol' is a thing of worship, it is a sacred thing that people respect other than God. Because of that, the word "idol" is used to refer to someone who is outstanding, brilliant, or has merit. 

 

Some people are famous in a certain industry. It is the last and is a memorable image when thinking of that. At the same time, some people may seem ordinary. But because he has created something that influences another earthwalker's heart. People who look like nothing can be someone's idol.

 

Dad said that raising someone as an idol will lead us astray. We will create unrealistic expectations to put ourselves on our heads. We will try to follow in the footsteps of others who are made specifically for them, not us. We will waste time fantasising rather than taking action. And in the end, we can't reach the goal because what we are chasing is someone else's goal from the beginning.

 

I agree with my father's ideas. Therefore, from childhood until I grew up, I have never admired anyone enough to want to praise them. I look at everyone the same.

 

All of them are very good and a little less good. But no one is perfect. Not outstanding enough to want to follow his talent continuously, or want to be like him. Which I think is the right and simple approach. It had always been suitable for me until the day I watched a racing program I had never thought I would be interested in.

His blue-and-white car has been ahead of the procession since the start. Competitors, after vehicles, try to chase whenever they see an opportunity. I can recognise that the racers throttle their engines and skill behind the wheel until they are up their necks to overtake the first car. But none of them is strong enough to do it. The first car's cornering rhythm is sharp. Enter at the right speed. Fall out of the curve beautifully and don't open the gap for other vehicles to compare. In that track, it's like his playground. The viewer's size still feels fun. 

 

It's true. But around the car is full of vitality, excitement and freedom. Like he's flying with a wingless vehicle. I've watched many types of speed races. There are many fields, but a competition has never made my heart beat this much. Everyone calls that racer 'PitBabe’.

 

At first glance, I think it's funny that he calls girls in the racetrack a name in his industry. Because, to be honest, they don't matter in the competition. The race can continue even if no beautiful girls walk around the field. Or if there is, it may be more attractive things to see. Some of them don't even know anything about racing. But many people have wielded racers. 

 

Sitting in a car worth tens of millions to enhance the prestige. I guessed he would be nervous the first time I heard his name. Where can a good racer want to be called a pit babe? I don't think there is.

 

But after that race, my ideas and beliefs about idols suddenly began to shake. I started watching PitBabes matches. Both old races uploaded to the Internet and followed the new races as much as possible. Both search online for his information, watch his teammates' YouTube channel, and scroll to find out when he will appear in the video. 

 

Even if it's just passing by, making a messy face and complaining like a bear eating bees, I'm easily impressed. One of my favourite and most-watched videos is of the X Hunter team going on an outing by the sea. After dinner, they made a fire. Sit around the circle and talk about each person's racing path.

 

That was the first time I realised that PitBabe is a fun person. He smiles and laughs very easily. He also likes to do funny things that don't look like they are. He is kind to the children in the team. Even though he likes to complain, he takes good care of them and gives sincere advice. At the end of that video, a racer named Sonic asked why he was called "PitBabe," as the industry said. The owner of the name laughed a little, embarrassed to talk about this. But willing to answer without hesitation, I remember his answer.

"It's from the name Babe. I want to get any name that includes my name. That day, I remember going to see Pu Alan racing. Before the race, P’Alan was the only racer the girls flocked to before the race. The mechanic who checked my car walked out and complained that PitBabe was so messy. At that time, I toasted the idea that it should be funny. If one day a name that doesn't seem unimportant to the competition is announced as the winner, like 'I already crossed the finish line…' The first place in this race is Pitbabe!' What's up? It should be good, right?" He answered amusedly. But that answer gradually released some limits and prejudices in my mind. Deeply, I can feel that this is not a coincidence. 

 

PitBabe is not just a name chosen because of the humour. But because it has a hidden value, Something considered unimportant, it may not necessarily be important forever. We all have the free will to change it. Some words may not need to be deleted. Just have to change its meaning. Make an effort and be patient with the days that walk awkwardly, so that the word will have a new meaning one day. And we are the ones who determine the direction of that meaning ourselves.

 

It may sound creepy, but Pitbabe is indeed the one who changed. The meanings of many words in my dictionary changed the path I took to where I am today. Negative beliefs about having my own idol were completely erased. I worshipped him wholeheartedly. I followed him proudly, never expecting to get to know or be close to him in real life, never once.

 

"I don't know what the hell you're looking at, foreigner?”

 

And I never thought I would sit and watch the great Pitbabe when he was drunk like a dog.

 

I don't know if merit leads or fate plays a joke. Today, I suddenly thought I wanted to act like a mysterious guy. Separated from my friends to sit and drink alone in an unfamiliar club. And on the day I wanted to be a mysterious boy, it happened to be the same day that the famous Pitbabe came to drink alcohol alone secretly. Because he was good at pushing his friends to stop regretting breaking up with his boyfriend. Instead of sitting on my knees to adjust to the suffering with someone, I had to sit at the bar alone, which I couldn't stand seeing him sitting alone. So now I come and sit down to scold him as best I can.

 

"Look at the broken heart." I looked at him miserably. Even though Pitbabe is my idol, he's not that cool in real life. He looks like a normal human being who sucks. He's special sometimes (this time), "Drunk as a dog," but even so, I still like him.

 

"Heartbroken at your aunt's house," Pitbabe said with the sound of his chin. He was so drunk that he barely forced his head. Sitting and leaning back and forth like a wind doll in front of a pump, almost out of wind. "Heartbroken is that I like him. But he doesn't like me."

 

"So what's the difference with you. Do you  want to date, or didn't want to break up?"

 

"This guy!" The drunk man pointed at my face, but it was not scary at all because he didn't even mean it in front of me. "When did I tell you that I wanted to continue dating?"

 

"If you don't want to continue dating, why do you regret it?"

 

"I don't regret it!"

"Drunk like this?"

 

"I'm here to celebrate." Babe made a face at me. Even though I don't know what I'm superior to, what can he win now? I just overcame gravity; I couldn't even stand it. "Single in almost three years, can't I  celebrate?"

 

"If this is called a celebration, it's a very depressing celebration."

"What are you going to know?"

 

"Well, I know, I've never been in love like you." I don't think of wasting time arguing. One is arguing with a drunk person is a waste of energy. And second, it's true that I don't have enough experience to comment on seniors in the love industry. Therefore, just sitting and scolding him should be the most appropriate solution.

 

"If you want to celebrate, just celebrate. I'm already happy."

 

"Of course, you have to be very happy with me." The drunk man reached out to push my shoulder. The first round of pushing wasn't right, so I took his hand, put it on his shoulder, and told him to try again.

 

"In the future, wherever I go, do anything, wherever I come back, I don't have to tell anyone, don't be afraid of who will wait, who will worry, no matter how much alcohol I drink, I won't be complained at, smoking a pack of cigarettes a day is my business."

 

"Yeah, it's all good."

"Do you know how big Charlie is? A doctor?”

 

Even if you don't regret it, you don't want to continue dating. Come and drink alcohol to celebrate being single, but Mr Pitbabe hasn't stopped talking about Charlie for a minute.

 

"It's not that it's forbidden to smoke, but he says that if I smoke, he will smoke too. I already know that I don't want it to mess with something like this. In the end, I had to quit because it's fuck..." P'Babe hiccoughed softly before splashing the wine down his throat at once. He put the empty glass down on the counter. The bartender quickly poured the liquor into the glass because he was afraid that Mr Pit Babe would be interrupted.

 

"What he doesn't want me to do, he will like to say, 'If I do it, will he, will Babe like it?’ After that, if I still do it again, he will say, 'How did you agree at that time? Did I tell you not to raise your voice? I told you not to destroy your belongings. I told you not to fight each other. I told you..." It's annoying."

 

I didn't answer anything. I just took a sip of alcohol and listened to his annoying ex-boyfriend. Because I know that Babe doesn't want any opinion from me now. He just wants to talk about his boyfriend.

 

"He likes to act like me. I have to let him teach me everything. Even though I'm much older than him. Phu was born a long time ago. Why don't I know not to pour water into boiling oil?"

 

"Why does Charlie suddenly have to teach me how to pour water on oil?"

"Because I poured water into the omelette pan."

 

I scratched my head. I knew that I couldn't do anything with the words of a drunk person. But I didn't think that when Pitbabe was drunk, he would argue so evilly. When I think about it, I was lucky that I wanted to be mysterious today. Because I let you get drunk alone like this. Tomorrow, the name Pit Babe will probably be the number one trend.

 

"I like that I'm a noiser. He's  also noisy."

"Squeal because you put water on the oil in the pan"

 

"Yes, but why are you shouting? It's just a bomb."

"If you can sit and complain, you're good at it."

The more I listen to it, the more I respect Charlie, who can deal with Mr Pitbabe. Even though he looks neat like that. Plus, he's younger than many years. But as far as it sounds, Charlie should be the one who manages everything in life for P'Babe. So it's not surprising that he lost zero like this. From there used to be someone who was his everything by his side. Suddenly, one day, he's gone.

 

"Charlie..."

 

Again and again.

Every word that comes out of Pitbabe's mouth is Charlie Charlie and Charlie.

 

"... He's my first love."

 

P'Babe's words made my rhythm of being a lazy listener stumble. Last minute, he was still complaining about Charlie, about water and oil. And suddenly, he comes to talk about something that seems profound in a sad tone. There is no introduction to the story.

 

"The first person I say I love you to is my first boyfriend, even though I already intend to not date anyone seriously."

 

"Why don't you want to date someone seriously?" I don't know how reliable the answer will be. But looking at the face, it looks like I want to go back to him. I think it's worth asking.

 

"Because I don't want to be sad," Pitbabe sighed long. He must be discouraged by himself as well, that he finally fell into this hole. Even though he was determined from the beginning that he really didn't miss him. "I don't want to tie myself up with anyone, I don't want to be disappointed, I want to control everything by myself. There's nothing better than controlling my own life."

 

"It sounds good." I shrugged, looking at the red face of a drunk person with a feeling that I can't help but. Even though he's older than me, when he's drunk like this, P'Babe looks like a friend or someone younger than me. "You shouldn't love him, right?"

 

"It's unlikely to be.

 

.... It's not."

 

"Why?" I asked, "If you don't love him from the beginning, you don't have to sit and celebrate like this."

 

"But when there is Charlie... It's fun." He smiled. A gentle smile as I've never seen before, but Charlie must have seen it until he got bored.

 

"I like that we are not the same. I like it when we argue. I like it when I make mistakes, and Charlie scolds. I like it when Charlie was angry, and I was angry. I like it when I tease him, too. When Charlie when he was shy, he looked like a child. The more he was even more shy, he would get angry with me. I really like it."

 

I know that the two of you love each other. But this is the first time I've touched it with my heart. It's not just two people who live together for days. But Babe and Charlie love even the worst part of each other without reservation. And it's not the obsession that makes you overlook those bad parts. They are conscious of every step. Aware of every wound and spot. But choose to love it anyway, because I know it's worth it Compared to what they get back from the relationship they built together.

 

And this is once again why I am jealous of Charlie. Jealousy that makes this person love him with all his heart, and can't help but be angry that he chose to leave so easily, such a wonderful person.

 

"If it were me... Damn, I will never break up with you."

 

I accidentally said what I should have been thinking, so now I can only hope the other party doesn't take it seriously. Or if you can't remember this at all, it will be great.

 

"Speak like Charlie," Babe laughed, but he didn't look happy. He was laughing with self-pity, which I don't like to spoil, especially when it came from him. "Did you produce the same lot?"

 

"I and him are not the same."

"Hang, how can Willy and Charlie be the same?"

 

He turned to look at my face and smiled sweetly. His eyes were greasy because of the alcohol. Babe was a charming person. I recognised this fact the first time he saw him, opened the door, and got out of the car after finishing the race. His eyes and every movement were full of confidence. It looked arrogant many times. That's undeniable. But at the same time, self-respect radiated from him all the time. He walked into the room. The whole room became his. When walking down the field, the whole field became his. Even when he sent a smile, I felt like I was about to become his.

 

Realise again, I kissed him.

 

P'Babe froze. He didn't respond, but didn't retreat. I considered that reaction as a license. Tilting his face, close to his lips, down closer than before. Babe's mouth is hot. There is both the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. The smell of his perfume has always covered my nose. 

 

It smells more fragrant when I move closer. I don't describe this kiss's taste correctly. I just know that it's hard to stop. It's more addictive every second I touch it. It's like he's slowly taking my hand to walk on the stairs, the light clouds at the destination. It's a paradise that I've never dreamed of, never thought I'd go. But because he stepped on my hand, I think it's definitely possible.

 

Charlie is really stupid. How can he leave this person? If he has kissed this lip a hundred times. Then, after this, how will he continue to live without knowing that he can't touch it again? Won't he die?

 

The size of me that I've just tasted for the first time. I still don't know that I'm going to withdraw from men.

 

How about this person?

 

Brother Charlie... You are really stupid.