North: How much is your love?

Chapter 30: Never be alone.

(>> North <<)

I woke up groggily to the sound of my alarm clock. It was already six o'clock in the morning. Usually, I wake up at this time to prepare breakfast, and today was no exception. Today was Sports Day, so my group had an early appointment. The sophomores also had their own tasks: looking after the freshmen, taking care of everything for them, and Johan seemed free because he wasn't interested in any of the activities.

 

I gently slipped out of the arms behind me and got up from the bed; since he was asleep, he wasn't holding me tightly. I went into the bathroom. After showering, I went down to the kitchen. Yesterday we went to the supermarket to buy some fresh produce. I opened the refrigerator, looked around, and thought about what I should make for breakfast.

 

"Why don't you sleep a little longer?" A deep, slightly annoyed voice came from behind him.

 

Johan was half-asleep, but as I said, he always looked incredibly attractive, no matter what. If I got out of bed about half an hour later, Johan would be awake too. I think this was a much better way to wake him up than an alarm clock. If I were still asleep, no matter how loud the alarm went off, he wouldn't budge.

 

"I have to make breakfast," I replied, then turned back to prepare at the kitchen counter.

 

"Isn't today a holiday?"

 

"I have to go to Sports Day," I replied as I prepared food, when Johan suddenly hugged me from behind. He leaned down and placed his lips on my cheek.

 

"Give me a morning kiss."

 

I turned my head, looked up, and gently kissed the person holding me. I held the kiss for a moment before gently pulling away.

 

"Good morning," I said with a smile. Johan smiled back at me.

 

"What should we have for breakfast this morning?"

 

“Soy milk and Patongko .” I pretended to joke and smiled slightly, followed by a sigh from Johan.

"Do I still have to eat that?"

"You don't like it?"

"I've been eating this for three years," Johan replied wearily, "But if you make it, I could eat it for the rest of my life."

"Well, I’ll cook for you for the rest of your life. Don’t get bored yet," I replied, smiling shyly.

"It's just too sweet."

"Complaining about it being too sweet again. It wouldn't taste good without the syrup," I retorted.

"Syrup?"

"Yes, I always secretly add it; otherwise, it wouldn't taste good."

"Do you understand the meaning of the word 'sweet'?"

"It's not sweet anymore."

"Okay, I don't want to argue anymore," Johan said, then playfully pinched my cheek before kissing me again and letting go. He was probably going to take a shower while I cooked. "Make me some coffee, okay?"

"No, you can drink today. If you don't have homework or work, please don't drink coffee," I protested loudly, but Johan didn't respond. I didn't turn to look at him either, but I think my face must have looked very annoyed. I was worried; he was too addicted to coffee. After finishing the dish, I brought it to the table and set it down.

"Are you at school or staying in your room today?" I asked because Johan had no reason to go to school today. It was like a day off.

"At school."

"Are you on duty at the medical area?"

"YES."

"Working until late at night? That sounds boring." I pouted, my lips curling into a sigh. A feeling of boredom welled up inside me: "Did you participate in any activities during your freshman year?"

"Are not."

"So what did you do in your first year?"

"Do nothing."

"Yes."

 

I think Johan isn't the type of person who would fit in at a university. He already has his own job and is very good at it. He seems to go to school just to fulfil an obligation, to get a degree, without being too concerned about studying or participating in activities. However, because he works in the medical field, he can't be as indifferent as he usually is.

 

"Oh, sir," I said, suddenly remembering, "about the part-time job."

"We've talked about this before."

“Yes, but what I mean is, you don’t need to hire a maid anymore, hire me instead. I can get paid the same as a maid,” I suggested, recalling what Duean Nao had said. This is also a job, right? And if you won’t let me go out to work, I can stay and work for you. Johan was silent for a moment before agreeing.

"You still want to work, right?" he asked, gently stroking my head.

"Yes, having too much free time feels strange to me; I'm not used to it."

"Hmm." He nodded slightly, then took out his wallet and placed a few bills on the table in front of me.

 

"What is this?"

"Cooking fee."

 

I looked at the pile of money on the table. Five thousand?

"Isn't that too much?" I asked cautiously. It was just for food; giving me five thousand dong seemed a bit excessive. However, my words seemed to displease Johan slightly.

"Take it."

"Yes..." I reluctantly took the five thousand baht and put it in my wallet, because judging by Johan's expression, if I didn't accept it, he would definitely be angry. Why does he always look so displeased? But then I thought, maybe Duean Nao was right: the person giving you the gift genuinely wants you to accept it. Being too formal might be considered impolite.

 

"North, you can ask him for anything you want."

That's what P’Hill once told me, but I don't like asking others for things. I've long been used to working to save money. And if you ask me if I've ever asked for anything from home, it always comes with countless conditions. Like I have to do something in exchange for a reward, because I want to feel like I've put in the effort, not just received something for free.

 

"Johan," I called softly, then stood up from my chair and moved to sit next to him.

"Huh?"

"Can I ask you a favour?"

"Okay."

"If I get a 3.5 GPA this semester, can you buy me a PS4?"

“Okay. But 3.5?” Johan asked, raising an eyebrow. “What was your GPA last semester?”

“2.7.”

 

"Then 3.0 should be enough."

"Oh, but it's a PS4. Is version 3.0 enough?"

"I can buy it for you right away."

“No, there has to be a trade-off. I don’t want to get it for free,” I said. “In short, if I get a 3.0 GPA, I’ll ask you to buy me a newly released game that I’m really eager to play.”

 

Johan raised his hand to his chin, staring intently at me. I really couldn't understand his actions.

"Usually, that's too little."

"Not at all. That game costs over seven hundred baht."

"You can take the money I just gave you," Johan replied. "And what about the ten thousand baht I gave you earlier? What did you do with it? I've never seen you use it."

"Oh, I put it away," I answered honestly. I'll use the money I earn gradually, and I'll save what he gives me for emergencies.

"Why are you always complaining about being poor?"

"Huh? When did I complain?" I did complain, but I don't remember ever complaining to Johan. Being poor is inevitable because I don't have a job.

"Ter told me."

"Really?" I mumbled, my face slightly sulky. Why would Ter bring that up? Was she getting revenge for me teasing her with Hill? She was clearly bitter.

 

"Why did you never tell me?"

“…Because I wanted to be discreet,” I answered honestly, then unconsciously avoided eye contact with the person opposite me, who was looking at me with a serious expression.

 

“…”

 

"Normally, I have to work. If I just sit around doing nothing, I can't stand it, so it's become a habit since I was a child. If I don't have money, I have to work more, but when I do nothing, I feel useless."

 

Since I was little, I've thought that I needed to take care of my mother and work. From a very young age, when I had a younger sibling, Night, I felt I had to shoulder the responsibility of an older brother. I always thought I needed to be strong to take care of the whole family.

 

"So you have to work constantly?" Johan asked.

"That's right," I nodded. "But because I have to study, sometimes I can't work. Those times are difficult, and if I don't work, I won't have any money. " I replied, forcing a strained smile. It was indeed a difficult time; I didn't dare tell anyone at home because of what they called "being discreet."

 

Johan sighed softly at my words, then gently reached out and stroked my head. "From now on… You can rely on me occasionally."

 

“…”

His warm voice, gentle gaze, and the hand resting on my head seemed to give me strength. I couldn't help but instinctively hug the person sitting beside me tightly, even though I didn't understand why I acted that way.

Why do I, someone who always thinks of myself as strong, feel that this is the place where I can reveal my vulnerability?

 

"North isn't alone, understand?"

"Yes, I understand."

I spent the whole day in the engineering department's area. My school's sports day is divided into two parts. The daytime features sports activities and track-and-field competitions. Everyone sits together to cheer on and support their team. In the evening, there's Spirit Night, where each department performs group shows, and its cheerleading team competes. Everyone went absolutely crazy.

 

The cheers and whistles were so loud I wanted to cover my ears as the parade began to move in. As the procession passed our department's section, I could clearly see the impressive performance. Hill led the way, impeccably dressed in his student uniform, his hair neatly trimmed and styled. He held the Faculty of Medicine sign with a confident and captivating demeanour.

 

“Did Hill get a haircut? He didn’t have this style last time, did he?” Phoon had to shout loudly for me to hear amidst the surrounding noise.

 

"Probably," I replied, still not taking my eyes off the scene. "This style looks great, and with his hair neatly styled like that, he's really handsome, I have to admit."

 

Duean Nao, as always, interrupted with a sharp remark: "Leading the group like this, you have to exude a radiant aura."

I nodded in agreement; Hill was indeed outstanding. It was no surprise he was chosen to lead the department. I'd been praising him ever since he started noticing Ter.

 

"Wait a minute!" I exclaimed in surprise, "He doesn't even look at anyone else's camera, he's only focused on Ter's."

 

That's right. Ter was holding a camera, following Hill closely to record the entire performance. Hill, meanwhile, seemed uninterested in any other cameras, his gaze fixed solely on Ter. Ter, being a member of the photography club, often took photos for large events like this.

 

"Is he looking at the camera or the person holding it? Why is he smiling so sweetly?" Sket teased, "If he smiled like that in front of someone else's camera, someone would surely faint on the spot."

 

"How embarrassing," I muttered, covering my face with my hands. "Not smiling at the camera, but at the person holding it. Oh my god." Thinking about how Hill had so openly flirted with Ter, I couldn't help but feel embarrassed for both of them.

 

"It's a shame, if Johan had joined the parade, there would surely have been people running after him with cameras to take pictures," Sket joked.

I immediately turned to look at him, feeling both amused and slightly annoyed. Just then, the shouting from the crowd grew even louder, drowning out all my thoughts. When I saw Tonfah walking by with a sign and holding a woman's hand, I thought, 

 

"What kind of scene is this? It's a bit strange."

 

"Tonfah is really handsome," Phoon said. 

 

"Looking at him like this, he must attract a lot of people, right?"

 

"Yeah, I think so too," Duean Nao agreed. "If Johan and Arthit joined the parade, I bet everyone in the medical team and the girls would be screaming their heads off. It's already deafening enough."

 

"So who is that girl with Tonfah? She has such a beautiful smile," Sket asked. "She's probably a medical student too."

 

"Yes," I nodded. "Her name is Thanmind."

 

“Why do you look so upset, North?” Duean Nao asked as Tonfah and Hill walked past. The cheering began to die down, turning into a more normal sound, interspersed with teasing and whistling.

 

"I don't like it," I sighed.

 

"Thamind-san?" Phoon asked again. I nodded, "Why?"

 

“She used to pick fights with Ter all the time. I didn’t like her very much.” I began to recount the story. Recalling it still made me angry, but my friends, who were listening, seemed very interested. “Mind must really like Hill, huh? So much so that she’s studying here just to pursue him.”

 

"Wow, the power of love is so strong," Duean Nao said. "So she used to pick fights with Ter? Seriously, Ter may look fragile and weak, but she's not like that at all."

 

"Yeah, it's Ter," Sket said. "So what happened?"

 

"Actually, she didn't intentionally cause trouble. When I asked Ter, he said Hill had already dealt with it."

 

I started to recall the past. Since last semester, before I knew Johan, Ter and I used to sit in the faculty courtyard, next to a group of girls. They would often turn to look at us. At first, I didn't pay much attention, but over time, I started to notice their gazes were teasing. Then, Ter's story started to spread.

 

"I think Hill is only hanging out with him because he's bored."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Do you think he's worthy? I don't think Hill should have chosen him."

I heard that and started to feel annoyed.

 

"These crazy people," Duean Nao said, sounding annoyed, "So did he do anything?"

 

"Ter is quiet. He's not the type of person who instinctively defends himself."

 

"But you were there, weren't you?" Duean Nao asked.

 

“Yeah, and I’m really angry,” I said. I really was angry at the time. She looked at me, and I looked back at her, as if looking for an excuse to pick a fight. But then she turned away, and I almost stood up and asked, “What are you saying about my friend?” But Ter stopped me. “Damn it, didn’t you see what those girls were saying about you?” I asked Ter.

 

"Thank goodness you were there," Sket said. "Did you tell Hill?"

 

"Yes, Hill dealt with them. After that, they didn't come near us again."

 

"So, she likes Tonfah now?"

 

"What?" I turned to look at Sket, not understanding what he meant. "What?"

 

"I don't know, but didn't you see Mind? She looks so happy with Tonfah; she's smiling so brightly."

 

"Yeah, I don't care, as long as she doesn't mess with my friends." I sighed, "If she bothers Ter again, she's dead."

 

I was furious; just remembering how she talked about Ter made my blood boil. And anyway, whether she liked Hill or not, what difference did it make? She lost, that's all.

 

"Damn it," Phoon said, almost laughing, "You get angry so easily, acting like a pro."

 

"I easily get drawn into other people's stories. It's much easier than making money." I said, then laughed, "Hmph, my friends are much more lovable."

 

"Of course, friends should support each other," Duean Nao said, which made me laugh even more.

 

"My friend is the best. Who is Thanmong Thanmind anyway?"

 

"Generally speaking, it's also at Hill's place," Duean Nao said before I shook his hand.

 

"But that's a strange name, isn't it? What does Thanmind mean? The name Thanmind sounds crazy; who would pair that name with someone like that?" I said with a smile.

 

"Damn it, you guys are bullying her," Phoon said.

 

"Looks like the medical faculty is getting bullied," I said, unable to suppress a laugh.

I really enjoy teasing people by their names, just like when I teased Daotok…

 

"But Mind is really pretty," Sket said.

 

"So what?" I replied, preparing to say more.

 

"So what?" Duean Nao added.

 

"Come on, guys. I was just complimenting her on how pretty she is."

 

"Yeah," I said, raising an eyebrow at someone else in the line before continuing the conversation about the parade and other things. After the parade, there was an awards ceremony for the sports. I saw Arthit go up to receive his award. He didn't seem very happy about only getting second place.

 

Arthit is very talented, but since this is a team competition, we just have to accept it.

When it was time to perform, we continued marching from that direction. Halfway through the procession, it started to rain. People panicked, but many groups were determined to continue performing.

 

“First-year medical students,” Duean Nao said, leaning forward to look at the adjacent section of the stands, but I didn’t need to look to know it was impressive. The singing was powerful, and the cheerleaders were in perfect unison. “Arthit plays the drums too.”

 

"Huh? Really?" I asked in surprise, leaning over to look. Indeed, Arthit was playing drums for the medical department. I had just discovered he could play drums too.

 

"That's impressive, he knows how to play the drums?" Phoon said. "Are they good at everything? I wonder if they're selective about who they play with?"

 

"Probably."

 

We talk and understand each other, not because we have similar personalities. It's not necessary to have the same habits to be friends. When it was my department's turn, it was raining heavily. Even with the roof covering us, the rain was still pouring down.

 

"Don't sneeze on me, I'm cold," I said.

 

"Why would I sneeze on you?"

 

"Well, you pay me back then." I turned to look at Duean Nao, "You made me sick for a long time back then, and it's been a year since I got sick again."

 

A commotion erupted nearby as people soaked by the rain began jostling for shelter. Other groups of fans who had finished their performances were dispersing as well. If that's the case, we can disperse when my department finishes too.

 

I endured the rain for almost fifteen minutes. When the performance ended, the older students began packing up the cheering props they had used.

 

"Don't push me, I'm all wet!" Phoon yelled as someone in the stands pushed him up, "You'll fall off the stands!"

 

"Oh my god, I'm completely soaked," I complained as I walked. It was raining, I was completely soaked, and everyone around me was still crowded together.

 

“Duean Nao!” I heard Tiger calling. He seemed to be walking and pushing everyone towards Duean Nao, “Let’s go home. You’ll catch a cold if you stay here.”

 

"Okay," Duean Nao agreed and walked towards Tiger. I saw Tiger using his jacket to cover Duean Nao. "Aren't you going to wear one?"

 

"You're wet, so put on the coat."

 

"Okay, thanks. Well, I'll be going now, guys." Duean Nao waved goodbye and left with Tiger. Before they left, I went closer to Tiger.

 

"Ger."

 

"What's up?"

 

"Have the two of you made up yet?"

 

"What do you mean by made up?"

 

"Oh, why did you call me that day?"

 

“We didn’t argue, so there’s no need to make up. It’s just that I was a little angry with Duean Nao that day. Okay, that’s it.” Tiger said, then continued walking after Duean Nao. I stood there for a while, surprised by his words, and for some reason felt very touched.

 

"Tiger is so handsome, isn't he? He looks even more charming when he's wet from the rain."

 

I overheard the girls around me talking.

 

"He's also good at sports."

 

"Look how he's taking care of Duean Nao, even taking off his jacket to cover him. Are there many men like that in this world? Who would do that for me? I'm so jealous. I want a Tiger of my own, too."

 

"Duean Nao is so lucky to have Tiger by his side."

 

I found it a little funny to hear the girls talking about Tiger, even though they tried to approach him; I knew it wouldn't work out.

 

"I'm leaving," I said, then walked towards Phoon and Sket. I said goodbye to them before going downstairs. I intended to take a shortcut to the medical area to meet Johan, but as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I found Johan standing in front of my department's booth, soaking wet from the rain.

 

"Brother," I called and ran towards him.

 

"Are you completely soaked from the rain?"

 

“No, but you…” I looked at him, seeing that he was even wetter than those who had been splashed with rainwater. Before I could say anything, he offered me the jacket he was holding to cover me. “Are you going home now?”

 

"No, let's take shelter from the rain first. You can see that the engineering department doesn't have any shelter from the rain."

 

"Ah." Johan looked towards my department's booth, where everyone was crowded together. It was packed with people, and he sighed before pulling me into the medical department's shelter from the rain.

 

"Is there really no shelter from the rain over there?" Tonfah asked, preparing to give us some towels.

 

"Yeah, it's packed," Johan said, looking a little annoyed. I turned to look at the Medical Faculty booth, which was almost completely unaffected by the rain. It was fine, but more spacious than the Engineering Faculty's section because of the larger canopy and fewer people.

 

"Let's go see Ter. I heard the veterinary department doesn't have any shelter from the rain either," Tonfah said.

 

"Um, are you cold?" Johan asked.

 

"It's not very cold."

 

Johan looked at me, seemingly displeased, then reached up and zipped up his jacket: 

 

"Why is your jacket so thin?"

 

"Thin? I don't see it that way," I thought to myself. It looked just like a normal shirt. I looked again and saw it wasn't thin at all. But Johan didn't say anything. When he sat down in this area, there were only doctors around. Looking at his shirt, I saw that they were all Johan's friends.

 

"I heard someone bought you some snacks, did you?" A soft voice asked. I got goosebumps; how did he know?

 

"Yes." I nodded.

 

Throughout the day, the older members of the group wouldn't let me go outside. So Johan bought me rice and snacks, which I shared with my friends. When it was time to go on stage, a stranger offered me some snacks, but I refused and returned them.

 

"But I already returned it," I added.

 

"Real?"

 

He's definitely angry...Johan knows because James told him; James spends all day in the engineering department.

 

"Actually, I only ate the snacks you bought for me," I confessed.

 

“…”

 

"Please don't be angry with me." I began to plead. I have a habit of begging when someone is angry, just like when I was with my mother.

 

“…”

 

Are you really angry, or are you just pretending to appease me?

 

"Give me your hand," I said, remembering something, opening both hands and holding them out. Johan also extended both hands towards me.

 

"I'll read your fortune," I explained.

 

"Really?" he asked, sounding curious.

 

"What's your zodiac sign?" I asked.

 

"Probably Taurus," he replied.

 

"There's so much to say about Taurus. They say that people born under that sign are very picky about their partners and they only choose someone who loves them unconditionally."

 

“…”

"That's right. Your boyfriend will only love you and won't eat other people's snacks."

 

"Is that really true?" Johan asked, then chuckled softly.

 

"Of course," I said, smiling and laughing at myself for doing something like that.

 

"So how can I ever stop being angry with you, huh?" Johan said, gently patting my cheek.

 

"Don't be angry. I'm a good child."

 

"Really?"

 

"Well, I've never told you that… I only love one person."

 

“…”

 

After saying that, I took Johan's hands, placed them on my cheeks, and smiled brightly at him.