North: How much is your love?

Chapter 24: The Other Side.

(>> Johan <<)

About three years ago….

 

“Ummm ah…” The moaning in the other person’s throat stopped. I slowly withdrew my body. I took the condom and threw it into the trash can next to the bed before getting up and heading to the bathroom; cleanliness was always my top priority. I put on my pants and returned to bed.

 

I looked at the beautiful white woman lying on the bed. She was naked, her face flushed, and she was exhausted from the previous activities.

 

“Johan…” She softly called my name before standing up and hugging me, “That’s impressive. It was truly wonderful.”

 

"Okay, one more time then?" I said before turning back to look at the other person. She looked back for a moment before turning away.

 

“Don’t look at me like that, I’m embarrassed,” she said, making a slightly shy face before pulling away from my embrace. Instead, she sat beside me on the bed, her eyes sweeping over me with a seductive gaze. She placed her hand on my chest and gently stroked my stomach.

 

"Damn, you're really good."

 

I didn't reply, just smiled slightly. I took a cigarette from the pack, held it in my mouth, took out my lighter and lit it. I took a puff until I felt a shiver run down my throat.

 

"Are you smoking again?"

 

"You don't like it?"

 

“No, I’m fine, I like everything about you.” She said readily, smiling shyly, but I felt nothing from her words or gestures. I took out my phone and checked; it was almost 2:00 AM. Whose message was this? I’ve been getting quite a few messages lately. At first, I thought about replying to the message first, but I had to turn off the screen when she came closer.

 

"Who are you talking to?"

 

"Not with anyone," I said before putting the phone aside.

 

"Hmm, really?" she murmured, frowning slightly. "Johan." She called my name again before looking up. Her eyes stared intently at my face.

 

"Hmm."

 

"You're so handsome. Whose boyfriend is this?" She gently touched my cheek with her hand, stroking it from side to side. "Is he your boyfriend?"

 

"What do you think?" I thought she was serious, so I raised my hand to shake the hand that was touching my face, to push it away.

 

“So, can you just look at me? Can you stop talking to other people?” Her slender, naked body moved closer to me and hugged me again, her voice pleading.

 

It's not just this one person. Every woman I've been involved with knows it. I've never been serious with anyone. But there are still people who decide to be with me, hoping they can change that. Others come hoping I'll choose them, which I don't care about. I just want to have fun every day.

 

“Is that what you wanted?” I asked before she sat on my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. That seductive look and smile? I see it so often I’m almost fed up.

 

The person sitting on my lap gently moved their hips. A faint scent of perfume wafted up. Why was I smelling it?

 

"Um, I'm wearing Gucci's new perfume. Do you like it?"

 

"It's normal, but your body odour is much more subtle."

 

I noticed that my words pleased her and made her laugh. But actually, I didn't like it at all...Because the perfume scent will cling to me, and other people will smell it too.

 

“Really? Then you’d better go take a shower,” she said before leaning down and whispering in my ear, “Would you like to do it again?”

 

I smiled slightly at those words. But now… I feel bored.

 

"I have to go now."

 

"Oh, why?"

 

"I'm going first," I said, reaching out and grabbing the woman's waist, lifting her off my lap. Although my hand touched soft, bare skin, I felt nothing anymore. Most of the time, I only have sex with the same people a few times before I get bored.

 

"Hold on."

 

“Kiss me, since we started dating, we’ve only ever had sex. We’ve never kissed,” she said, her face pleading with me once more. She leaned closer and gently touched my lips, but I didn’t react to the touch.

 

“I don’t like kissing. Sorry.” That’s all I said before pushing her away. I got up, picked up my shirt and put it on, leaving her sitting alone on the bed with a disappointed look on her face.

 

Yes… I don’t kiss my partner. And I had never kissed anyone before. I can't imagine what it would be like to kiss someone out of love.

 

"Johan, are you really leaving?"

 

"Okay, I'm leaving now, see you later," I said and walked out the door.

 

I've already paid for the hotel. Or rather, it's more like a guesthouse; guesthouses in tourist areas usually don't bother checking ages. As long as you have enough money to pay, they won't ask any further questions.

 

"Wait." She quickly stood up, put on her cloak, and ran after me, grabbing my hand. "Johan, before you go, please tell me you love me, okay? Say it, tell me you love me."

 

"Okay."

 

“…” She looked at me, her eyes full of anticipation.

 

"I love you."

 

"I love you too, Johan." She smiled happily, and then I left the room.

 

I could easily say those words, even without feeling anything. I can't remember how many times I've said them. If they want to hear it, let them; it doesn't matter to me. Deep down, though, I know it's all a lie…

 

"Johan is so lucky. Born handsome and rich, his life has been smooth sailing; he doesn't have to do anything at all."

 

"Who wouldn't like someone that rich? And with such perfect looks, what girl wouldn't be attracted to him? It's perfectly normal; who wouldn't like a rich person?"

 

"I'm really jealous. He doesn't need to study at all; he just spends the money his parents give him. Meanwhile, I struggle to even afford my own meals. If I were him, I would have dropped out of school a long time ago."

 

"Being born into wealth means an easy life. You don't need to work hard; you always have money to spend."

 

Those idiots…I cursed silently to myself, my anger surging. I took a drag on my cigarette, exhaling smoke to calm the rising frustration in my chest. At this late hour, the words of others haunted me, echoing in my head. Despite my efforts, I couldn't get them out of my mind. And that always makes me feel bad.

 

What annoyed me most was that what they said was true. I was born into what could be called a "prestigious" family. From the moment I was born until I grew up, businesses in electronics and countless other sectors treated me as special. Because I was the only son of the owner of major corporations in the country.

 

"But having looks and money doesn't mean you know who you really are. Seriously, if one day you have nothing left, who will you be?"

 

A childhood friend's words suddenly echoed in my head as I got into the car, preparing to drive home. Are you being silly? If I have nothing, who will like me? I'm not the type to flirt, thinking I'll be appreciated. Nor am I sincere with anyone; if even they only like me for my money or looks, why should I take it seriously? No, it's perfectly natural for me to flirt with someone.

 

I've never taken seriously comments like "I like you because you're rich" or "I like you because you're handsome." It's not unusual for people to like someone for such reasons.

 

I drove and stopped in front of my grandmother's large house; she owned most of the land in the area. I moved in with her when I was in middle school because my parents were always so busy. Living in such a peaceful town was quite comfortable, but the problem was that my school was quite far away, and other places weren't nearby either.

 

I went into my room, took a shower, and then climbed into bed. Tomorrow I have school again… Damn it.

 

“…”

“…”

 

"Young master... Young master, wake up."

 

I woke up to the housekeeper's voice, who had come to wake me up because I was late again. I hurriedly got dressed, putting on my rather unflattering uniform. My shirt wasn't tucked in, and I wore white socks with my shoes—all against the rules, but who cared?

 

"It's late again."

 

My grandmother shook her head as I got into the car.

 

"But I'm quite handsome," I joked before hugging and kissing her.

 

"All you do is flirt all day, just like your father." She gently pinched my cheek. "Hurry up, go now. We don't always have time to eat, but I'll take you when we're done."

 

"Yes." Uncle Rong nodded. I turned back to look at him seriously.

 

"Can't you let me drive my own car?"

 

"No, I can't. I have to visit someone tonight, and I'll be back late to have dinner with you. Understand?" she said. Uncle Rong would take me to school and pick me up, but I'll probably find my own way home. That means I have to at least go home and have dinner with my grandmother before I can go anywhere else. She's very indulgent towards me, never complaining about anything, especially about money.

 

I was sitting in the back seat of the car. Uncle Rong drove past the market in front of the village and then stopped.

 

"Uncle, could you please stop buying that food for me?" I asked irritably, my eyes looking out the window. The car had tinted windows, so people outside couldn't see inside, and those inside couldn't see clearly outside either.

 

"No, young master. The mistress has already given instructions."

 

"Can't we buy it from someone else?"

 

"That's disrespectful. You can't choose where it's produced."

 

"Then tell them not to make it so sweet," I repeated the phrase, though I don't know how many times I'd said it already.

 

"Yes," Uncle Rong replied before closing the car door and going to buy soy milk at the stall in front of the market. Because I always wake up late, I never have time for breakfast. Every day, he buys soy milk for me. My grandmother says soy milk is very good for your health. But if it's this sweet, I'll probably die of diabetes.

 

I looked around and sighed. Uncle Pae, the soy milk vendor, makes really delicious drinks, but that boy makes them too sweet. I've repeatedly said I don't want anything too sweet, but everything I get in a bag is sweet.

 

A little while later, Uncle Rong returned, carrying a bag of soy milk and fried dough sticks. Sweet again…

 

I frowned at the overwhelming sweetness in my mouth. I don't like sweets, especially this; it's far too sweet for my taste. But I have to eat it every morning.

 

"Why are you buying from that boy again?" I asked, raising my voice slightly.

 

"Oh, I didn't want to buy any more, but I couldn't refuse, young master. The boy was so cute, he even gave me some extra fried dough sticks," Uncle Rong replied with a smile, then started the car. "It seems like the boy remembers me as a regular customer, coming to buy from me every day. He really cares about his customers."

 

"It would be better if he also paid attention to the amount of sugar added to the milk," I retorted irritably.

"You drive a Ferrari every day, but you always carry a bag of soy milk with you. Don't you think that's weird?" James, one of my friends, said when he saw me getting out of the car at the school gate. Since I couldn't finish it on the way to class, I always had to bring it with me.

 

"What? Am I not allowed to drink?"

 

"Or maybe you're attracted to the soy milk vendor? Why do you drink it every day?"

 

"No, but I have to drink. Do you think I have a choice?" I complained.

 

"Is it sweet? Let me try it." James took a sip and grinned, "Too sweet, you'll probably die of diabetes!"

 

"Damn, I'll probably need an insulin injection after drinking this," I said irritably, tossing the empty soy milk pouch and the bag of fried dough sticks into the trash can before heading into school with James.

 

“You should stop by my shop. Remember, I have an arcade, right? Lots of students come here,” James suggested. He had an arcade near my village, but the school I attended was quite far from there. There was a school near the village, but this one was much better.

 

"Impossible."

 

"I drink milk there every day, don't you remember?"

 

"Why should I remember that?" I turned to look at James.

 

"You can't even remember the name of the person you spent the night with last night, can you?" James joked. I didn't argue, because I really couldn't remember either.

 

"Oh, I just got something cool in stock. Would you like to try it?"

 

"What is that?"

 

"It's an American product."

 

"Have you tried it yet?"

 

"Yes, it's really great," James replied.

 

"Okay, I'll drop by this afternoon." I agreed.

 

As I said, I'm not a good person. I drink, date random people, and do other bad things. James and Frank are no different from me. What James wants me to try is an imported e-cigarette.

 

"Hey, you two!" A voice from behind called out, causing both James and me to turn around immediately. It was a teacher from the student affairs office, something we were quite familiar with, since we had seen them patrolling the hallways.

 

"Your shoes aren't in accordance with the rules, and your hairstyles aren't good either. Why aren't your shirts tucked in? And those short socks too."

 

"Oh, miss, it's normal," James replied in the dejected tone we usually used when we got scolded by the teacher. Actually, we were used to it.

 

"Who gave you permission to bring foreign shoes to school? What are you showing off with expensive shoes?" The teacher confiscated them all. "That violates school rules. How many times have I told you not to listen?"

 

"But there are only the two of us," I said. 

 

"Teacher, do you see anyone else? I don't see anyone else." I pretended to look around to tease the teacher, which only made her angrier.

 

"I'm talking about Frank, too. You three are the biggest rule-breakers in the school!" the teacher said, her displeasure clearly visible on her face. "Go to the principal's office immediately!"

 

"Wow, it's so cool in there," I said. "It's air-conditioned, James. We don't need to study anymore."

 

"That's right, I agree with you, Johan. And there's coffee too; I even managed to bring some with me last time I ran away to make some," James added.

 

"Stop it, you two!"

 

"But she told us to go to the principal's office," I asked again. "Or does she want us to go back to class?"

 

"Oh my God, my head hurts! You can all go up there during lunchtime. Now, quickly line up for the flag ceremony!" The teacher said helplessly before leaving.

 

James and I exchanged glances, a smirk playing on his face. Then we lined up to prepare for the flag ceremony.

When lunchtime arrived, my two friends and I headed towards the school gate because we had planned to sneak out by climbing the wall.

 

"The teacher will be furious if we don't go to the principal's office. Are we going there?" James asked.

 

"We'll be back soon, don't worry, teacher," I replied, tossing my bag over the wall and climbing the fence. The other two quickly followed suit. Before long, all three of us were outside the school.

 

“James, do you want to go to my shop?” Frank asked as he started the car. James and I sat in the back seat.

 

"The new items arrived so quickly?"

 

“Usually, VIP customers get their orders first,” James said, raising an eyebrow proudly. Then we returned to James’s arcade. It looked quite ordinary, but he had an older brother who controlled the entrance to a different area inside. Outside, there was a sign that read "No outsiders allowed."

 

We often come here when we don't know where else to go. Tourist attractions aren't open during the day. If you ask me why I don't go to school, I'll say I'm lazy. But it's not just me; many other acquaintances also enjoy coming here.

 

"Hey, what's up?" A senior classmate greeted us as we entered, "Johan, have you heard about that kid?"

 

"I don't know, but I'm not a child anymore," I replied, then sat down on the sofa.

 

"That's great, try this one," he said, handing me an e-cigarette.

 

"Just a little." I took the cigarette from James. 

 

"Sweet, strange, but quite mild, I think so after trying the new e-cigarette James recommended."

 

"Gentle? This is our new dish."

 

“I don’t feel like there’s been a big change. I’m still not in the mood.” I said, following my train of thought, with words and actions that were impulsive. To be honest, I’m the tough type, and people with similar personalities tend to stick together. Like everyone here.

 

Live life for joy, one day at a time, without worrying about what the future holds. Do whatever you want. Everything you desire can be bought with money. That's right… No need to say more. Simply put, being born the son of a wealthy person means you'll always be judged that way.

 

My phone rang. I realised it was my father calling. I sighed softly before going outside to answer it, my other hand still holding the cigarette.

 

(Johan.)

"Yes."

 

(Are you skipping school again? Your teachers called to tell your father.)

 

"Oh, now that you know, why are you asking?" I replied, my voice echoing from the other end of the line. I took another puff of my cigarette.

 

(Why don't you go to school?)

"I'm just lazy."

 

(When are you going to stop this attitude? Okay, fine, I don't care if you don't want to study. But if you're drinking, smoking, and chasing girls every day, I can't help but worry. You're smoking now, aren't you?)

 

“…”

 

(Dad has never scolded you for wasting money. You can spend as much money as you want, but please stop acting so stupid all the time, okay?)

 

“…”

 

(Don't live like a failed dog anymore.)

 

"How many times have you said that, Dad? Aren't you tired of it?"

 

(Dad is fed up with this situation, too.)

"Then stop complaining. I'm done talking."

 

(Wait a minute, Johan, Dad isn't finished yet...)

 

I hung up feeling unhappy. My father's words kept echoing in my ears. When we lived under the same roof, we never spoke to each other. But now that I'm living with my grandmother, he still calls and says such things. Why is it so boring?

 

A loser?

Yeah, so what?

I had just arrived when James left the room.

 

"Your dad called again?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"YES."

 

"Let's go outside and play a game to clear our heads, because a lot of people are coming after school," he said. I nodded slightly and went outside.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

(>> North <<)

 

I was riding my motorbike and parked in front of a particular school. When the bike stopped, the person behind me slowly got off and turned to look at me.

 

"Yeah, I'm coming in. I finish work at 6:30, don't forget to pick me up."

 

"Okay." I smiled and looked at her.

 

This is the only girl I'm talking to right now. In other words, I'm flirting, but we're not a couple yet. There are about two and a half hours left until class ends, and my usual spot to kill time is James's arcade.

 

"You're late today, aren't you?" James greeted me as I entered the shop.

 

“I have something to do,” I said. “I’ve played enough now, James. You said that if I play enough, I get two hours of free play.” I was about to show him my card with all the entries I’d made. James was a year older than me. We went to different schools. His school was very fancy and expensive.

 

“A regular customer,” James joked, then took my card to check it. “Okay, two hours of free play. Same table, right?” I nodded. I like sitting at the corner table. This place is very spacious and has partitions for each table, so it’s very private. I received the activation code before sitting down at the table. 

 

The smell of cigarette smoke…I frowned slightly at the faint smell of cigarette smoke coming from the people sitting at the table opposite me. It must be from that table. Because the partition was quite high, I couldn't see anyone. Even leaning forward didn't help.

 

After turning on my computer for a while, my phone rang, and I realised it was a friend who lived nearby calling, so I immediately answered.

 

(North, are you home? I want to come over.)

"I'm not home. I'm at the arcade. What's up?"

 

(I need help with my homework; it's due tomorrow. Can you come and help me out?)

 

"Palm, I'm at James's shop."

(Can I come? Will I be bothering anyone?)

 

"Probably not, there won't be many people. You should come quickly." I thought, then Palm hung up.

 

It was around 4 PM. Normally, I arrive early because I finish school early. My school isn't too strict because it's just a small school.

But for the past two weeks, I haven't been in a hurry to go to the arcade because I've had to drop her off at her tutoring class first. After class, I pick her up, we eat together, and then drive home.

 

I joined the game and played for a while. Palm came in, sat down at a nearby desk, and pulled out a research report.

 

"Hey, let's get this done, North."

 

“Calm down, Palm. I’m concentrating,” I said, my eyes still fixed on the computer screen in front of me. “What’s your group project?”

 

"The topic is about the concept of social status. Rich people, poor people, things like that."

 

"Oh..." I said in surprise, "How would I know? It all depends on each person's preferences. We can't speak for someone else unless they're the one who knows."

 

"So who chose this topic?" Palm asked, bursting into laughter.

 

"Tae's mother."

 

"I told you this was a ridiculous topic."

 

“This is information for first-time dog owners,” I explained. “So they can choose the right food for their breed, I bought kibble according to my preference, but in the end, my sister said she liked pig maggots. Just write it down like that.”

 

"North, you bastard." The person next to me called my name and laughed so hard I had to hold my stomach and laugh along. "You look really happy today?"

 

"I'm always happy," I said, then turned to ask, "Go ask someone else, why are you asking me?"

 

"Well, this question is for people in the same school and year as us. I've asked a lot of people, even family members, but I haven't gotten any specific answers. This involves money and gold, so I thought you'd know the answer, North."

 

“It’s true that I like money and gold,” I said, clicking to continue playing, while still listening to Palm. My mind was trying to separate the two thoughts at once, “What did everyone else say?”

 

“Ah…” Palm paused for a moment, then opened the report to read it. “The question I asked was about wealthy people. Many people say they are envious, especially of those born into wealthy families. If you’re born rich, you don’t have to worry about anything.”

 

"Okay, so what's next?" I asked, listening, but my mind wasn't really thinking much because I was focused on the game.

 

"Those who are self-made wealthy deserve more respect. Those who are only rich because of their parents are just rich people."

 

"Oh, what's wrong?"

 

"I asked a lot of people, and this is what they said. They also said that those who spend their parents' money every day are the worst. They live off their parents, do nothing but wait to receive money."

 

"Really?" I said, surprised.

 

“North, what do you think about this? I’m about to take notes. As a person, would you work to earn money to pay for your studies?” Palm asked, pen in hand. He was about to start writing, and I wondered why he chose such a difficult topic.

 

"What the hell? Wait a minute, why are you asking so many questions? Damn it, I lost!" I muttered unintentionally after being eliminated from the game. A little while later, the game ended.

 

"So what do you think about the idea that people who are rich because of their parents shouldn't be considered truly wealthy?"

 

“Hmm.” I paused for a moment. “So, if we don’t call them rich, what do we call them? Wealth is measured in money; it doesn’t matter whether it was earned. If I won 10 million in the lottery, you wouldn’t call me rich just because it wasn’t money I earned, right? But to be precise, that 10 million was also money I won, wasn’t it?” I said, continuing to think. Because this topic is about people’s thoughts, meaning they want to find their true perspectives from within. It’s not right or wrong, it’s just each person’s perspective.

 

"Yes, that's right." Palm nodded and bent down to take notes. Then he looked up and asked further, "So, if you're born rich, your family is already rich, and you don't need to do anything, what do you think?"

 

"Huh, how do you want me to answer?" I said, then imagined, "Okay, if I were born rich, what would you want me to do? Cut ties with my parents and go wash dishes to support myself? Are you crazy? What parents would want their child to suffer like that? If they have money, why would they let their child be disadvantaged?"

 

"North, calm down. Why do you seem so concerned?"

 

“I’m genuinely interested in this. I’m genuinely interested when it comes to money.” I said, then walked away, “So, what do you want me to do? Okay, I’m rich, alright?”

 

I walked along, laughing and talking. Damn, I get easily drawn into things like this. I mean, things like this can actually happen in life.

 

"Ah, I see. You're too easily swayed." The person next to me laughed again. But I couldn't laugh out loud because there were other people around. "You were born to do nothing at all, huh?"

 

"So, what do you need my help with?" I asked.

 

"Oh, I don't know."

 

"If you're asking 'rich kid,' that's probably a bit harsh. We're all human beings; everyone has to ask their parents for money to spend. I ask too, but it's just a matter of how much. Honestly, running out of money in the middle of the month is really depressing."

 

“But being born into a wealthy family is already a great stroke of luck. They can really do anything, without needing an education. Without needing to work, right?” Palm asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Yes, that's true, but being from a wealthy family doesn't mean you're incompetent; you must certainly have some talent."

 

“…”

 

"We use the phrase 'Your parents are rich' while overlooking so much else. Even though they might still be under pressure, it's a pressure we can't understand. If you're rich, it means you have to project a good image to your family and society, right? In that society, we're constantly compared. No matter what, life isn't easy. Maybe that person tried, but because no one recognised their efforts, they became discouraged."

 

"North, just hearing you talk gives me goosebumps."

 

"Did my words really sound that harsh?"

 

"No, but it really hurts."

 

"You idiot, your jokes are always terrible," I said, chuckling a little. "Oh, do you have any more questions? Hurry up and ask, I need to continue playing."

 

"What do you think about people who always spend their parents' money, without caring about anything, just squandering their parents' money until they die?" Palm lowered his head and reread the question in the report.

 

"Actually, I think it's their business. If they're okay with that way of life, what can we do about it?"

 

"So what if they're okay with it?"

 

"That's fine. Okay, go on."

 

"Have you ever thought this world isn't fair? I mean, if you're born rich, you're considered successful, and you don't have to work until you die."

 

“This world isn’t fair, is it? So what can we do? Complaining endlessly but ultimately doing nothing—even cursing the rich won’t make you any richer.” I thought, then pressed the button to resume playing. My head ached; why did they choose such a difficult topic? “This world has never been fair… If it’s not fair, then we just have to try harder.”

 

"So, is that why you're working part-time?"

 

"It's only a part of it, but I really want to help my family out. Earning money makes me feel proud of myself and more at ease. As you said, it's fine if rich people want to spend their parents' money until they die; that's their right, but do they feel useless deep down? Can they really tolerate being looked down upon all the time?"

 

“…”

 

"Why use money to show people what your life is like? It doesn't change anything. If you're going to be rich, be extremely rich, or something like that. So rich that those who gossip behind your back will be envious. Then go up to them, hold a pile of money and say, 'This is money I earned myself, what's the problem?' and then throw the money in their faces, making their heads explode."

 

"Damn it, I got hit by a single banknote, and my head almost exploded. Imagine what it would be like if it were a whole pile of money!"

 

“Yeah, but I think that really satisfied me. If they continued talking, I would have said, ‘Look down on them? So what if I’m rich? It’s my money. Say whatever you want, I’ll buy the whole world and send you all to live on Mars.’ 

There’s nothing to be afraid of; let them see the power of money.” I thought.

 

"That's so cruel, you son of a bitch. I'm scared now."

 

"Yeah, that's good," I said, trying to suppress a laugh along with the person sitting next to me.

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

(>> Johan <<)

 

The words of the soy milk vendor boy still echoed in my head hours later. I went out in the evening as usual. Loud music, noisy crowds all around me, I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Take a breath in and exhale a cloud of grey smoke.

 

'But being from a wealthy family doesn't mean you lack ability…'

"Perhaps that person tried, but because no one recognised their efforts, they became discouraged."

'This world has never been fair… If it’s not fair, then we just have to try harder.'

 

Those words kept repeating in my head, like someone was playing a tape on repeat. This world is truly unfair, but the only thing we can do is try harder. However, the word "try" never crossed my mind. After all, I was already rich; I didn't feel the need to try harder. Everything seemed so easy, and I could live like this until I died.

 

"As you said, it's fine if rich people want to spend their parents' money until they die, that's their right, but do they feel useless deep down? Can they really tolerate being looked down upon all the time?"

 

Yes… Actually, I’m not happy with myself for asking that question – if I didn’t have my parents’ money, what would I have left? The answer is nothing. But nobody wants to be looked down upon like that forever.

 

'Why use money to show people what your life is like? It doesn't change anything.'

 

'Using the money you earn yourself makes you feel proud of yourself and more at ease.'

 

Really? Is that kid already earning his own money? Even though he's young and doesn't come from a high-status family, how could he possibly think like that?

 

"Johan."

 

"Hmm."

 

"What's wrong?" James asked, setting down his glass and reaching out to put his arm around the waist of the girl sitting nearby. 

 

"Which girl are you interested in tonight?"

 

"Nobody's here, I'm going home tonight," I replied before extinguishing the cigarette in my hand in the ashtray. James sighed. Tonight was really not a good evening because of what that kid said. His words kept swirling in my head.

 

"Oh my god, okay, it's alright."

 

"Yeah, sorry, see you later."

 

"YES."

 

I left the pub, got into my favourite car, and drove home even though it wasn't yet midnight. My grandmother would probably be surprised to see me home so early. Those words kept repeating in my head. Damn, that's so annoying.

“James, do you remember that kid who sold soy milk?” I asked James during lunchtime at school. That crazy kid kept me thinking all night, and I couldn’t sleep.

 

"Yeah, I remember. Why?"

 

"Tell me about him."

 

"North?"

 

"His name is North?" I raised an eyebrow when I heard the other person say that.

 

"Oh, North is a cute boy. He lives in our neighbourhood. Don't you know him? He even makes soy milk for my sister every day."

 

"Is that the soy milk Johan complained about?" Frank asked. "I didn't think it was too sweet."

 

"That's too sweet," I protested. "And James, you go on."

 

"So you care?"

 

"No, yesterday… I overheard him talking to a friend."

 

"Well, he’s right, isn't he? Everything he says is true. Unfortunately, you were sitting nearby; it was clearly about you," James said, chuckling softly. "I'm still glad everything he said made sense."

 

"Yeah."

 

“If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be thinking so much about those words, right?” James asked again, making me sigh a little. “Actually, he’s quite a special person. I heard his father passed away a long time ago, and he lives with his mother and aunt. His family isn’t wealthy, and he’s also working part-time.”

 

"Really?" Frank raised his eyebrows and asked in surprise. "A fourth-grade student?"

 

"I heard he's been working since high school," James replied. "Compared to Johan, who lives in a luxurious, beautiful house and doesn't have to do anything, you two are like two completely different people."

 

"Damn it." I cursed in anger.

 

"Oh, are you angry?" Frank said, his voice tinged with mockery.

 

“North is an optimist. He’s so relaxed and calm that it makes everyone feel comfortable around him,” James said. “He’s also very empathetic.”

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah."

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

 

(>> North<<)

 

“I’m staying at a friend’s house tonight,” I told my mom on the phone, explaining that I wouldn’t be home tonight because tomorrow was Saturday. And I was still playing games at the internet cafe, “I have homework to do.”

 

(What homework?)

 

"It's a group assignment, I have to help Tae and Palm with it."

 

(Okay, what time are you coming home? Do you want me to pick you up?)

 

"I'm not sure, but don't worry, I'll get home by myself."

 

(Okay, my dear.)

 

"Yes," I said, then hung up.

 

"Are you sure, North? If your mom catches you, it'll be a mess," Tae said, looking at me worriedly. He knew how strict my mom was.

 

"It's alright. Shall we continue working on the report?"

 

"But the homework is already done."

 

"Yes, but I'm addicted to this game, and I want to climb the ranks. I can't stay home because I don't have a computer." 😭 

 

Tae, Palm, and I played at the internet cafe until late. We brought plenty of books and notebooks, even though we knew we wouldn't use them. I know I should be going to school, but I chose to come here to hang out with my friends instead.

 

More than an hour had passed, and the doors of the arcade suddenly burst open. A woman stood in the doorway with an extremely angry expression. In her hand, she held a branch of raspberries. My mother… Damned! I have to run away immediately!

 

“Mom…” I mustered the courage to call out, trying to remain calm in front of the woman who had just entered. I swallowed hard, a chill running down my spine as I saw the “weapon” in her hand. My legs went weak.

 

“North, damn it, you’re finished. Auntie will kill you,” Palm said, trembling and looking at me with terrified eyes.

 

"Pray," I whispered, my voice so low only I could hear it. But the fear was still palpable.

 

“NORTH!! Didn’t you say you were doing your homework at a friend’s house? Tae! Palm!”

 

"Yes, that's right!" Both replied immediately, their voices barely audible.

 

“Auntie has already called your parents. They’ll be here to pick you up soon,” my mother said to my two friends, her voice calm but chillingly cold. Tae and Palm’s faces instantly turned pale. They had both lied to their parents, saying they were working on a group project.

 

"NORTH!!"

 

"Yes... Yes..."

 

"Come here right now!"

 

"Oh my God, Mom, don't be so strict, Mom!" I pleaded loudly as she grabbed my ear and pulled me forcefully to my feet.

 

Because it was late, the arcade was quite deserted, with only James standing nearby, looking at me with amusement. What are you laughing at? He's laughing at my pain!

 

"Do you think you're so great? Huh!"

 

"Ouch!" I screamed as the raspberry branch whipped against me. Why are Mom's hands so strong? It really hurt 😭. Before I could complain any more, she whipped me a few more times.

 

"Group work? And now you dare lie to your mother? You're so addicted to games that you don't even bother coming home! I've never forbidden you from playing games, but this is too much. Do you know how worried the whole family is? Don't live so carelessly anymore!"

 

“Ow! It hurts so much! Mom, please don’t hit me anymore. It hurts, it hurts so much! I’m sorry! I promise I won’t do it again!” I turned around and pleaded, but it was useless. The branch struck again, and this time it broke in two.

 

Tears started to flow. The pain was so intense I couldn't hold them back, and those "manly" tears just started to spill out 😭.

 

"Oh, Mom, it hurts so much!" Tears streamed down my face; all I could do was cry and beg my mother to soften her heart.

 

"Why are you crying?! Huh?"

 

"It hurts!"

 

"Are you even a man? Keep crying, keep crying!"

 

"Mom..."

 

"What? Why are you calling Mom?"

 

"Mom... I love you so much... huhu!"

 

"No need for flattery! Those tricks are old and no longer effective!"

 

"Oh my God..."

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

(>> Johan <<)

 

I was astonished by the sight before me. It was very late now. Initially, I intended to go out to the pub for a bit because I'd spent the whole day holed up in James's shop. But I stopped right at the corner of the staircase. A noise coming from a certain corner piqued my curiosity. What the hell is this? Did his mother come all the way here to find him?

 

I saw the little boy selling soy milk being scolded and lightly spanked by a woman – probably his mother. He was probably playing too much and forgot the time to go home. James's friends seemed to find the situation quite funny. Damned…

 

If it were me, and my mother had travelled all the way here to find me, I wouldn't dare look her in the eye again. Being scolded and then beaten right in front of my friends—what could be more humiliating than that?

 

"Mom, if you keep hitting me so hard, you'll be complaining about your hand hurting later."

 

"It's okay, Mom's hands are all red."

 

"I'm sorry, Mom. Let's go eat something delicious. I'm sure you'll cheer up right away, right?"

 

…Why is he still so cheerful? James was right, this kid is indeed the incredibly carefree type. But being this carefree is a bit excessive, isn't it? Doesn't he feel any anger or hurt at all?

 

"I know you're worried, Mom. I'm sorry, I promise I won't do it again."

 

North smiled at his mother, his face so pitiful that she couldn't help but laugh. Finally, she forgave him.

 

"See, Mom's smiling now. Come on, let's go get something to eat."

 

North said goodbye to his friends, limping away because he had just been beaten up. But what puzzled me most was, despite being beaten like that, why wasn't he angry? He simply accepted that his mother was worried. Is that all? If so, then James was absolutely right: anyone around him would feel relieved and at ease.

 

Just hearing a few words and seeing that scene made me feel different…

'But being from a wealthy family doesn't mean you lack ability…'

 

I don't know. These are words no one has ever said to me before. Because in my life, all I've heard is, 'Because you were born into a wealthy family, you don't need to do anything.'

 

Just a few words spoken that day made me think and think, and I finally decided: I wanted to try doing something for myself. And it was from that small moment that I began to pay more attention. The first thing that surprised me was…Why can a person radiate such a bright glow? How could he be so full of positive energy? He smiled so much—when selling soy milk, when playing at the arcade, or even when talking to other people. Then I realised I was becoming increasingly drawn to that smile.

"Johan, aren't you coming to the cafe? It's been a long time since I last saw you. I've missed you so much!" A girl in a uniform similar to mine called out.

 

"Oh, really? You remember me?" I raised my eyebrows and asked.

 

"Yes, I miss you a lot."

 

"See you later, okay? Remember to give me a call." I leaned close to her ear and whispered, with a sweet smile, before turning away. That smile was beautiful, but it still couldn't compare to his smile.

 

"Johan, what's wrong with you?" Frank asked loudly.

 

"That's right, you haven't gone out with anyone all week. Is something wrong?"

 

"Yeah, I was going to ask that too," James added. "For about a week now, he's just been hanging around in my shop and then going straight home. He doesn't look like himself at all."

 

"I don't know, I'm just bored." I said exactly how I felt at the time, "No matter how beautiful a girl is, I'm starting to get bored."

 

"Have you reached the saturation point of being a womaniser?" Frank asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

"Probably, I need to rest for a while," I replied.

 

"It's up to you," James shrugged, speaking as if he were too tired to discuss it further. That's right… I don't understand myself anymore. I'm so bored, so bored that no matter how beautiful, charming, or cute someone is, I feel nothing. Maybe it's true, as Frank said, I've reached a saturation point.

 

But there's someone's smile that I just want to look at every day. No matter how much I look, it's never enough, to the point where I just want to "buy" that person and keep them all to myself, so I can admire them every day. To be honest, I don't even understand myself anymore. But every evening, sitting at a table in the furthest corner of the arcade, watching someone's smile and listening to their conversations with friends... It's become an indispensable habit for me. I don't understand why I like that person's laughter so much.

 

Every morning, I would see him standing at his small stall in front of the market selling soy milk, always smiling at anyone who came to buy, no matter how tired he was. But what kept bothering me was: 'When will he finally understand that I said, "I don't like sweet drinks"?'"

"James," I called out as the three of us sat in a room at the back of the arcade. It was quite empty at the time, as it was still daytime.

 

"What is it?"

 

"I want to ask you something," I said, then turned to look at Frank, "You listen too."

 

"What's so serious?" Frank asked, laughing.

 

“If I like someone, but they’ve never done anything for me…is that strange?” My question immediately made the two of them turn to look at each other with astonished expressions.

 

"What a strange question! It's not unusual, it's perfectly normal to like someone," James replied.

 

"Really? Someone like you, Johan?" Frank asked again, frowning in disbelief.

 

"What do you mean by 'someone like me'?" I asked, frowning.

 

"What the hell is this?" Frank raised an eyebrow. "What's going on? Who made you like him?"

 

“I’m not sure, but I know I like him. Whether it’s serious or not, I’m not sure,” I said, trying to express my feelings. But honestly, I didn’t really know what “serious” meant, because I’d never really been serious with anyone before.

 

"Who is it?"

 

"He's my junior," I replied briefly.

 

“You're junior? Oh, the kid who always sits at the table in front of you at the arcade, right? The one you’re always staring at,” James said, grinning as if he’d just discovered something amusing. “So you actually like him, huh?”

 

"North?" Frank asked, raising an eyebrow.

I nodded in confirmation.

 

"Yeah, that's fine. If you like him, just say you like him, right?"

 

"But why do you like him?" James asked curiously.

 

"I'm not really sure either. That's why I'm asking if it's strange that I like someone who's never done anything for me," I said, frowning. No, saying that person hasn't done anything isn't entirely accurate. If you say that person acted as a motivation for me to change myself, then that's not strange at all, right? The more I think about it, the more I like him.

 

"Isn't it strange that I feel this way?" I wondered. Is it possible that I would be willing to throw myself in front of a bullet for that person, like in the movies? That's a silly thought; this is real life, you don't need a clear reason to like someone. Because of that kind of love, isn't it just a fleeting romance?  

 

"That's right."  

 

"So, what do you like about that person? Please explain."  

 

"I like them, I want to see them smile. I want to keep them all to myself to look at. I don't want them to be cute in front of other people. Damn it, I want to 'buy' them and bring them home so only I can admire them."  

 

"This isn't just liking anymore, Johan. This is pure obsession, you son of a bitch."

 

"Yeah, that person made me want to stop. They were the first person who made me want so much."

 

"So that's why you haven't been going out much lately?" 

 

"Perhaps," I replied.  

 

"Are you serious, Johan?" James frowned. "But for someone like you, who's never been serious with anyone before, how could you possibly do that? I feel like you're losing your balance."

 

"Yeah, I think so too."

 

It seems I'm gradually losing control to the point where I'm no longer myself. I keep thinking how wonderful it would be to have that person by my side. But then I ask myself, "Could someone like me really take care of them?"

 

"I think it'll work," James said, a slight smile playing on his lips. 

 

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

(>> North<<)

 

“North.” I turned around when I heard someone call from behind. It was James. I noticed someone else was sitting next to him.

 

Today, I went to the arcade again. Although the hourly rate is a bit expensive, the points system for free play is really good. Recently, I've accumulated quite a few free hours, which allows me to play longer without spending extra money.

 

"Yes."

 

"I have a question I'd like to ask you."

 

"Oh, yes. What is it?" I immediately turned to look at the person sitting next to James. Who was that? His brother?

 

"A friend of mine likes you."

 

"Huh?" I exclaimed in surprise, raising my eyebrows in disbelief. "And then what?"

 

“Actually, he wanted to tell you himself, but I thought I should ask first. North, are you currently dating anyone?” James looked at me intently. He said his friend liked me. But I didn’t know who his friend was.

 

"Oh... I already have a girlfriend, sorry."

 

“…” James seemed quite shocked, then fell silent for a moment, “Really? Do you have a girlfriend? How come I didn’t know? You said you didn’t have a girlfriend last time?”

 

"We just started dating yesterday," I said shyly.

 

"Oh my god, I'm going to die." James sighed, putting his hand to his forehead. 

 

"Actually, my friend wants to date you. When he found out, he said he wanted to flirt with North, but then we advised him to talk to you first, so I wanted to introduce him to you."

 

"Yes... But I already have a girlfriend."

 

"Really? When are you breaking up?"

 

"You're such a bad person." I frowned at the person sitting next to me, "I just went out with her yesterday, why would I break up with her?"

 

"Come on, trust me, my friend is much better."

 

"Much better? Sorry, but I already have a girlfriend." I reiterated. Why does James look so awkward? His friend must be very upset.

 

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

 

"Your friend is really rich, North. And he's very handsome too, absolutely perfect in every way."

 

"What's wrong, James? Are you putting pressure on me?"

 

"Yes, my friend is a really great guy. Don't you want to get to know him?"

 

"But I already have a girlfriend, and getting to know someone else would be betrayal. I don't want to do that." I gently shook my head, indicating my refusal, "I'm not the kind of person who would secretly betray my girlfriend."

 

"What's your girlfriend's name?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"Maybe my friend loves North more than North's current girlfriend. He could take better care of you. If you turn down this opportunity, you'll miss out on meeting someone who loves you very much, right? Don't you want to give him a chance?"

 

“Um…” I paused for a moment, swallowing hard. I understood James’s point, but still… 

 

“But even so, he’s late. Maybe he’s perfect, but he arrived at the wrong time.”

 

"Really, North? Saying this makes me very uncomfortable. My friend is quite a womaniser, but he's willing to stop for you."

 

“Really?” I whispered. If what James said was true, then maybe I really did make that person like me?…

 

"But...it's too late now."

 

“…”

"I'm sorry."