Chapters

North: How much is your love?

Chapter 15: Keep me warm.

[>> Johan <<]

"Yeah, I probably won't be coming to the office for a while."

“…”

"Okay, I'll leave it to you to handle."

“…”

I turned off the computer and went back into the room.

Are you asleep...?

I looked at the person who had fallen asleep while I went out to talk to the company. Even though the TV was still on, he was sleeping so soundly. Just a few minutes ago, he seemed wary of me. I bent down and lifted the sleeping figure from the sofa. Ever since I first brought him home from the bar, I've always wondered why his body was so small, as if a gentle breeze could blow him away.

I gently laid him down on the bed. The red marks around his neck and shoulders, left by me earlier, were visible because his shirt was a little too big and didn't fit properly. His lips were also slightly swollen and red. Just as Thit had said… I must have really lost control.

It must have hurt a lot… but I couldn't stop. It's not that he’s weak, it's just that I'm too rough… One kiss is enough to make me want more, and once I've kissed more, I don't want to stop. Just seeing you makes me want to hug him, hold him tight, and playfully bite him until he’s completely limp.

I slumped onto the bed, glancing at the person sleeping soundly, completely oblivious to everything around them. Initially, I never imagined things would turn out this way. It all started with the first kiss… I have to admit I was very angry at the time, but I managed to control myself. I just told him to go back…But he chose to come to me.

I gently traced my finger across his lips, then down to his still flushed cheek. Unable to resist, I leaned down and placed a soft kiss there before pulling away. The delicate scent and steady breathing… When we kissed on the sofa earlier, I had to restrain myself from going any further.

Do you realise you are completely unsafe?

When it was just the two of us...

Damned.

This is not good at all.

I promised myself I wouldn't do anything unless he truly wanted it.

But how long can I endure this…?

Incoming call: 'Fah'

"Fah."

(You answered the phone unusually quickly.)

"Fah, I've never been so happy you called before." I quickly answered the phone and walked out of the bedroom.

(What's wrong?)

"Damned…"

"Luckily, you called."

"If it's Meat, then we're doomed."

I plopped down on the sofa.

(Jo, what's wrong? Calm down.)

"If you had called a little later..."

I spoke while raising my hand to my face to calm myself, then let myself fall back down.

(That looks terrifying.)

"Yeah."

(Oh, so you brought him to sleep with you, right? How did it go?)

"What else? I'm about to go crazy."

(Are you struggling with yourself?)

"Yeah, do you think I'm the kind of person who would stop at just a kiss? I had to restrain myself so much. How many more times did I have to recite prayers? And that kid... damn it."

(So, I called at the right time to snap you out of it?)

"Well, if you had been even a minute slower… even if he had been crying, I'm not sure I could have stopped."

(Oh no, my friend is doomed.)

"It's even better than you think."

(Is it really that bad? He’s so cute.)

"Yeah, and he even let me kiss him. If he had seriously objected from the beginning, I wouldn't have said anything."

(He only opened up for one kiss, isn't that enough?)

"Enough of this nonsense. I kissed him so hard his lips cracked, and I still wasn't satisfied. Damn it! What's wrong with me?"

I swore. I was angry with myself.

(Jo, I told you to calm down.)

"Fah, I tried my best..."

(That's terrifying. I really want to take him and run away from you.)

"You try it."

(You're really scary. I saw him this morning, and he was so embarrassed he wanted to die.)

"That's why I'm even less inclined to stop at the bottom."

(Honestly, he looks very strong, but when he’s with you, he seems so vulnerable. You need to control yourself a bit.)

"Hill told me that too."

(Have you done it yet?)

"It's already done."

(And you call that already done?)

"YES."

(He’s so cute, why don't you appreciate him a little more?)

"Can you please not interfere in my business, Fah?"

(I only complimented you a little, and you're already acting possessive.)

(Since when did you become such a jealous person?)

"Is that how I am?"

(Oh my god, I've never seen you like that with anyone before. When Thit first told me, I didn't believe it because I didn't think you'd turn out like that.)

"I know."

(Jo, I'm serious. If you're serious, don't treat him like you did with the others.)

"YES."

(Absolutely.)

"What?"

(Just like Thit said, you didn't argue at all. Normally, when I talk like this, you'd argue to the very end.)

"What else can I say?"

(Because it's him, I feel really good.)

"What?"

(Hill said he’s the easygoing type, not easily angered, doesn't think negatively, and is very strong. Otherwise, how could he live with someone like you?)

“…”

"It's not because he’s a good person that I feel lucky, but because he’s the reason everything turned out well."

(Yeah, I understand. So what about tonight? Will he escape from you?)

"I don't know."

(You sleep on the sofa, let him sleep in the room.)

"This is my room."

(Then you go to sleep outside.)

"Damn..."

(You're always talking about your own things.)

"Is something wrong?"

(Did you see my study notes? The one I brought to school with Hill today? I can't find it, and I need to use it tomorrow.)

"See."

(Where?)

"The meat took them."

(When did he take it?)

"While packing."

(What was he doing with it? You saw it, why didn't you say anything?)

"He hasn't finished his studies yet."

(Yeah, that's great. Taking it without even asking.)

"Even if you ask, he won't give it to you."

(Learn to do it until you get used to it.)

"That's a waste of time, Fah."

(Sigh, tell him to return it to me tomorrow, don't forget. If he forgets, he's dead.)

"Tell him yourself."

"I'm too lazy to talk to him."

"Nonsense."

(Remember to tell them, don't forget.)

"YES."

(There's something else I need to mention so I don't forget.)

"Go ahead and speak."

(You've seemed stressed out these past few months. It's not excessively bad, but you're more irritable and easily annoyed than before. Hill said, " You've been working really hard, is that true?)

"Yes, as Hill said."

(You're going to go that far? You've missed more classes than last semester.)

"I have to do it. They said they'd hand over everything to me before I graduate, and I only have a few years left."

(Is there pressure?)

"I don't know. There's not much pressure, just I'm tired."

(Your company has so much work, why are you studying to be a doctor? I've asked you that so many times, why don't you study something less demanding?)

"For example?"

(Business administration, for example. And you can help with the company too.)

"I already know how to do management."

(So why study to be a doctor? Don't tell me it's because your mom told you to apply, and you got accepted, so you have to study.)

"I just want my mother to brag to others that her only son is studying to be a doctor and can also handle the company business. In a few years, I'll take over the company, and then she'll be completely proud."

(Yeah, I see. Similar to Hill, or maybe even worse?)

"Hill probably had it even harder, being forced to study all the time."

(In short, none of you wants to be doctors. Sigh... Have you realised that yet?)

"Thanks to you talking about studies and work, I've woken up."

(Good. So, now that you've met him, do you feel a little better? Are you less stressed?)

"Not entirely, but it's not bad either."

(What does that mean?)

"I don't know."

(Like finding a place to rest when you're tired, right?)

"YES."

(That's good. If you're still going to be a womaniser, you'll never find someone to come home to when you're tired, like having a home like this.)

"Probably."

(I'm hanging up now. Remember to tell Thit to return the note to me tomorrow.)

Okay.

Then I hung up. As I said, it was good that Fah called. Fah helped me stay calm in many things, not just me, but the other two as well.

I called Thit as Fah had instructed.

(What's the matter? Why are you calling at this hour?) As soon as I answered, I heard a lot of noise on the other end, and even worse, the sound of cars.

"At the racetrack again?"

(Yeah, I'm also racing tonight, but the stakes are a bit low, so the other side isn't very keen.)

"How much?"

(300,000.)

"Why so little?"

(I think so too; without you, the odds would drop drastically.)

"And yet you still went?"

(I don't go out often, I'm just bored tonight. Want to join?)

"I'm not going."

(Are you lying there hugging him?)

"I couldn't sleep, so I just finished talking to Fah. Remember to return his homework tomorrow."

(Okay. Did you call just for this?)

"Yeah, Fah asked."

(Hmm, the girls keep complaining about missing you, asking where Johan disappeared to and why they haven't seen him for so long. How many months have you been away? And even when you do come, it's only occasionally.)

"I'm busy working."

(I also told them that you work so much that you don't even have time to sleep.)

"Yeah, sometimes I just want to quit my job and live a vagabond life like you."

(Then why not take a break?)

"Well, I have to keep an eye on you, of course."

(Oh, so the inspiration for life turned the promiscuous Johan into a diligent Johan, huh?)

"So much drama"

(How do I hug you to sleep? Are you going crazy?)

"Asking just like Fah always does. Yeah, I'm about to go crazy."

(I feel sorry for you. If you can't handle it, then don't force yourself.)

"Because you're like that, I'm happy that Fah is the first person to call."

(Hmph, I'm about to enter the field.)

"Yeah, good luck, be careful."

(Wish me to win.)

"Have you ever lost to anyone other than me?"

(We'll play two matches, with each player winning one.)

"Okay, I'm hanging up now."

(Okay, sleep well.)

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

[>> North <<]

My chest feels so tight. I slowly opened my eyes, and the first thing I felt was warmth. I looked ahead, but couldn't see clearly because the room was dimly lit; I guessed it wasn't daylight yet. But… I couldn't move much.

Ugh.

When I tried to move, someone held me even tighter in their embrace.

Johan…

Are you hugging me?

I felt the cool breeze from the air conditioner, the thick blanket kept me warm, but the warmth from the arms behind me was even more comforting. I tried to turn over because I was numb and aching, but I couldn't turn much because I was held so tightly. Surely he wouldn't hold me all night, would he?

The thought of him holding me all night made my heart race. Yesterday definitely wasn't my imagination. Each kiss lasted longer, but it wasn't any gentler. Perhaps Johan was just losing his self-control, as his hands almost touched me several times before he pulled them back. As for kissing… I think it’s too much. I used to wonder if he ever got tired of it. My mouth hurts so much. My mouth probably hasn't torn open again yet, right? Sometimes I get scared. Last time it got torn, and he still didn't stop 😭

I reached for my phone nearby. I turned it on and saw it was just past 5 a.m., but being held like this, how could I possibly fall back asleep? The scene from yesterday on the sofa was still playing in my head, the warm breath of the person behind me still caressing my neck and ear. So close. Oh my god, how am I supposed to sleep anymore? I wish I hadn't woken up 😭

Can't sleep, Unable to sleep, I just lie still, thinking about all sorts of things. I couldn't move, and waking Johan up was out of the question. I checked my phone and saw a 50,000 baht transfer, the money I borrowed from him yesterday. Why is it so easy? It's fifty thousand dong! 😭

And then there's the matter of debt. Do I have to sit here counting debts again? Who could possibly count them all! Just thinking about it makes me want to go crazy!

'Call from: P’Hill'

I woke up groggily to the sound of my phone ringing. I thought I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, but I was so sleepy and warm that I drifted off to sleep without realising it.

P’Hill called me. Since we met, this is probably the first time he's called me, right?

"Yes," I answered the call quickly.

(Is Johan there?)

"Yes, he is," I said, glancing at the person still sleeping in my arms behind me. Johan was still sleeping soundly, and I immediately turned away because I felt we were too close.

(Can I speak to him?)

"Yes, he's asleep. Do I need to wake him up?"

(Go ahead and call.)

“Johan”, I called, “Hill wants to speak with you.”

“…” When I called out to Johan, he seemed to have woken up, but he didn't seem to want to pay much attention.

“Johan”, I called out again, shaking his arm, and he released his embrace, looking slightly annoyed. He then turned me onto my back, climbed on top of me, and leaned down to kiss me gently.

"Mmm." I let out a soft moan as his lips pressed harder, longer, and repeatedly. Although this kiss wasn't as intense as before, my heart was still pounding. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling like I was suffocating, so I tried to push him away.

And again…

And then this again…

Do you want me to die of a heart attack?!

(North.) Hill's voice from the other end of the line finally made Johan stop, looking rather displeased. Seeing him so handsome even at this close distance, fresh out of bed, was a bit shocking.

(Are you still there?) P’Hill called again. I immediately snapped back to reality.

"Y-yes... I'm sorry, sir."

(Turn on the speakerphone, I'll speak directly to him.)

"Yes," I turned on the speaker as he instructed.

(Johan.)

"What?"

(Always early in the morning?)

"YES"

(Are you stuck to him?)

!!!

Did P’Hill just say Johan was attached to me? I glanced at Johan, who looked rather displeased at being woken up, then immediately averted my gaze, feeling myself blush excessively. I'm not sure, I don't understand why, every time I look into Johan's eyes, my heart beats faster.

What did P’Hill mean by "sticking" me? Was he referring to the kiss just now? Oh my god, what should I be ashamed of before?

“…”

(Why couldn't I reach you?)

"I'm annoyed with you."

(Go to school.)

"Are not."

(Johan.)

"Huh."

(Go to school.)

"Are not."

(Are you planning to cuddle with him all day while you sleep?)

"YES."

!!!

(Hurry up.)

“…”

(I'm not going to help you with the report this time.)

"Okay, alright."

(Have you been able to contact Thit?)

"What? You can't get in touch with him?"

(Yeah, it's been off since this morning, just like you. Fah is yelling because he doesn't have the note.)

"Really? I just spoke to him a moment ago."

(Is he dead?)

"Probably, he competed yesterday."

(Okay, let me inform the teacher. Is there anything that needs signing?)

"Just say he's sick, maybe even in the hospital."

(How should I put it?)

"Car accident, critical condition."

(Okay, hurry up, and bring your boyfriend with you.)

"For what?"

(Are you going to let him stay with Ter, or do you want to leave him alone?)

"Where are you guys?"

(The coffee shop is located below the building.)

Okay.

(Okay.)

Then P’Hill hung up. I was a little surprised when he said that P’Thit was seriously injured and in the hospital. Just jumping to that conclusion? Maybe P’Thit was just sleeping in? You're being too mean. Johan got out of bed, and I got up too because I heard he was going to take me with him.

"Do I have to go with you?"

"YES."

"But I have to go to work at the coffee shop today."

"No need to go."

"Yes." I nodded reluctantly. If the owner wouldn't let me go, then I didn't need to. "Is Ter there too?" I asked again, as if to confirm. Apparently, they wanted me to stay with Ter at the cafe downstairs.

"YES."

I had to borrow Johan's jacket to cover the hickey on my neck from last night. And lately I've been wearing this kind of cover-up all the time because as soon as the old one fades, a new one appears. Luckily, it's not too hot, otherwise I'd probably faint from the heat before I got there. But even so, wearing this is still incredibly hot. Why do you never think about me at all in everything you do?

"I'm so hot," I whispered as we walked down to the parking lot.

"Who forced you to wear it?"

"Well, you! Who told you to leave those marks? If I hadn't covered them up, it would have been dangerous. What if someone else saw them?"

"Well, I want people to see it."

“...”

The jacket did cover it up to some extent, but not completely, so if anyone looked closely, they could still see it, or if the collar shifted slightly, it would be immediately noticeable. The important thing is that the person who caused it didn't seem to notice anything at all 😭

I opened the door of the luxury car and sat in the passenger seat. This Audi was still far too luxurious for me, and Johan's driving still scared me as before. Tiger said he used to race with Jo and Thit, but lately, when Tiger goes to the racetrack, he doesn't see Johan anywhere, and Thit only shows up occasionally. So, I guess this terrifying driving style is because he used to race, right? 😭

I don't know if you know this, but every time I ride in your car, I have to recite Buddhist prayers because my heart feels like it's going to jump out the window. When the luxury car stopped in the medical faculty's parking lot, I got out, breathing a sigh of relief because at least I was still alive to see Ter.

"What time do you finish your classes?" I asked as I followed him down the hallway below the building. I noticed many eyes looking in our direction. They were probably just looking at Johan, but how come they're in the same department and still haven't gotten to know each other?

"Eleven o'clock."

"Yes, that's right. So you'll be waiting with Ter, right?"

"Okay. Think about what you want to eat for lunch."

"Yes."

I nodded and stopped in front of the stairs – we'd probably have to part ways here, so I'd have to go to the cafe to find Ter.

"I wish you good luck with your studies," I said, smiling.

"YES."

I watched Johan go up the stairs, and when I turned away, I saw a lot of people staring at me. What's going on? Why are they staring so intensely? I glanced back, and they immediately averted their eyes and turned away.

"You arrived so quickly," Ter said as soon as he sat down in the chair opposite him. "Hill said you'd probably be late because Johan is always late for school."

"Oh, really? I'm here," I said.

"Order something to drink first."

"I have no money."

"What a pity, I'll pay for it. I heard you're in a lot of debt, aren't you?" Ter said, shaking his head. I looked at him with a deeply moved expression.

"You're a true friend in times of trouble, a best friend for life."

"Just buying a cup of bubble tea and you're already best friends?"

"I'm genuinely grateful."

"Is that really true?"

"Yeah, I'll remember your kindness for two days. It's too little a favour, I'll probably forget about it quickly," I said, then opened the menu. A soft drink would be enough, right?

"Can I sit here for as long as I want?"

"Yeah, there are fewer people on Sundays."

"That's all?"

"Not many. Only second-year students are taking remedial classes, and the rest are probably working."

"Oh, really? Is this the entire second-year class?" I asked because that must mean there are hundreds of people.

"It probably won't be that many, just a few groups."

"Why aren't you in your room? What are you doing out here?"

"I'm bored, and I don't want Hill to have to come back to pick me up again. Anyway, I have to go out for lunch, and since I have nothing to do, I'll just sit here with you," Ter said while plugging in his phone to charge. He probably intended to sit here for a while.

"You wouldn't want to be alone in Johan's room either, I know."

"You should ask me, maybe I prefer lying around alone?"

"You? Living alone? Hmph, you're definitely going to cry."

"Ter, you're underestimating me too much."

"So, can you live alone?"

"No, I'll call you right away."

"See? We're sitting together now. There's Wi-Fi here, and it's cool too." Ter was right. I'm easygoing, but I don't like being alone. Because I'm extremely afraid of ghosts, I can't sleep alone, even during the day.

"How long are we going to sit here?" I asked.

"After he finishes studying and we have lunch, I plan to go see a movie before going back to my room."

"Watching a movie? What movie?"

"I don't know, we'll choose when we get to the theatre. Are you going?"

"You're inviting me? I'm so embarrassed," I said, making a shy face. "Yes, I'll go. Can I sit between you and Hill?"

"For what?"

"Hey, I'm your boyfriend too, and you don't value me?"

"Stop flirting behind my back, I'm not going with you anymore," Ter said, sighing resignedly. Seeing the waitress approach, I ordered a matcha latte and a sandwich. Speaking of which, Johan hadn't had breakfast yet. With classes this early, it would be strange if he wasn't hungry.

"Have you ever gone to the movies with Johan?"

"Not yet, why?"

"So you kissed already?" Ter's eyes widened in surprise as he looked at me.

"Yeah, see? I don't understand his kind of love. We haven't even dated, gone out to eat, or watched a movie together," I said, stating the facts. He's really so different from other people.

"Ask Johan to come along, the horror movie you want to see is showing now."

"Really? Have you seen it?" I said excitedly. I'd been waiting for this horror movie for a long time. Even though I'm afraid of ghosts, I enjoy watching and listening to ghost stories because they let me imagine ghosts more vividly than those who don't.

"I haven't watched it yet because I'm afraid I'll lose sleep again. Remember last time? We had to keep the night light on for a whole week!"

"Oh my God, what's going on? And why are you inviting me to do this?"

"Let's go together, but each of us will watch a movie at a different theatre."

"No way! How am I supposed to sit between you and P’Hill?"

"Come on, let me go, North." I laughed at Ter's dejected expression. I deliberately teased him to the point where he was almost at his breaking point.

"Why don't you ask Jo out on a normal date? You just don't have time, that's why you haven't been able to go anywhere together, right?" Ter asked.

"Probably." Johan looked very busy. As I said, if we don't meet, we really won't meet at all.

"What story were you saying you'd tell me earlier?"

"Ah," I remembered telling Ter yesterday that I would tell her everything. I hesitated again, wondering if I should tell her... Because... well... it's quite embarrassing. Just thinking about it makes me feel shy.

"So… if I tell you everything, will you be okay?"

"It's fine, everything's alright."

"Really? Don't tell anyone, okay? I trust you."

“North, let me reiterate: I’m not like you. I keep everything I hear to myself, unlike you. Remember when I told Hill about my relationship with him, I repeatedly told him not to tell anyone.”

"I didn't tell anyone." I tilted my head, looking puzzled.

"Yeah, but you went and told Hill! You bastard, you really are a bastard!"

"P’Hill isn't a stranger."

"You bastard!" Ter cursed me without restraint, all while sipping her cocoa. I've already tried to keep everyone's secrets, and now only Ger's remains... and Duen Nao will probably never find out... so I guess I'll try my best!

"Let me tell you. Remember that incident with Day? The day I didn't go back to the dorm?"

"YES."

And then I told Ter everything. I had already prepared for this, and Ter was the only one who could listen. Having a friend you can trust really is a good thing.

“…”

"You... this is really complicated."

"See?" I said, picking up my sandwich and taking a bite.

"Oh, my God! But I'm so thrilled! My ship is speeding along. I could close my eyes and be in the Pacific Ocean in a flash…"

“…”

"So, that red mark on your neck is..."

“…” I quickly raised my hand to cover my neck when Ter pointed at it.

“Oh my god… But the good news is he clearly likes you. And since you’ve already opened your heart, why not try dating him? Things have come to this point, haven’t they?” Ter said, frowning thoughtfully. “How should I put it? Probably difficult. It also involves money. But you’ve managed to borrow fifty thousand, right?”

"Okay," I nodded. "It was quick, like I only borrowed fifty baht."

"That's great. He's rich and earns his own money, too. Just like you."

"What do you mean by 'similar'? I'm just doing this as a side job."

"That's impressive. I like the way you earn your own money, and you inspire me so much that now I want to get a part-time job like you."

Unexpectedly complimented, I unconsciously put the sandwich down on the table.

"I'm so sorry, you devil."

"If you're shy, you'll just start cursing."

"Why are you suddenly praising me like that?"

"Well, I already praised this before, didn't I?"

"Thanks so much. I'm so embarrassed I could faint, I'm about to cry. Just call me if you want anything, I'll pay for everything!"

"Pfft, save that money for your tuition."

"It's truly heartbreaking."

"But getting back to the other topic, why don't you try dating him?" Ter repeated the question.

"Ah..." I paused for a moment to think about what to say, "Actually, I'm not the overthinking type, but when it comes to love, I do think about it."

"What?"

"Well... when you're in love, there are many things involved. Right now, I don't even know what he likes or dislikes. I've only heard that he studies hard and has a demanding job. If you're in love, you have to take care of each other, so I want to understand him more."

"Besides, I'm still not entirely sure. I'm the type who can live with anyone. But what about him? Can he live with me? Like when I was with Ja, she was selfish, easily angered, easily moved to tears, and I still managed to put up with her."

"So what about that part where you said 'if your heart is broken, then screw it'?"

"It's different. That's when I like someone, but I'm afraid of being deceived. But dating is different. If I have a girlfriend/boyfriend, I want to take care of them, not hurt them. So I need time to get to know them, and if we're in a relationship, I'll be much more serious."

"Oh, that's much more serious. And what if it falls apart?"

"Then it'll just break completely."

"When you fall in love with someone, it's a serious relationship, right?"

"That's right. I'm all grown up now."

"A role model, huh? Oh, right, North, there's something I wanted to discuss with you. I initially thought about this because you got with Johan."

"What's wrong?"

"Maybe… we won't be living together anymore."

"What's up?"

"North, I don't want to leave you."

"Ter! Don't overreact, just tell me the whole story!"

"Actually... Hill has wanted me to move in with him for a long time. But I didn't go because I was worried about you."

"So, am I offending P’Hill?"

"Hill also said that Johan wants you to move in with him, too."

"No! Absolutely not!"

"Isn't that right?" Ter said. "Actually, I'm not serious about moving in with Hill. I'd like to, but I've lived with you for a long time."

"That's right, Ter. You mustn't leave our little home."

“This is the first dorm I’ve lived in since leaving home for the city. You’re also the first friend I’ve made in college. If we split up, we probably won’t see each other as often as before. Just thinking about it makes me sad,” Ter said, his face a little downcast, and I felt the same way since we’d been living together for a whole semester.

"Just tell P’Hill that you're not moving out."

"I told him, but for some reason, he didn't seem very happy. If Hill brings this up with Johan, we're doomed."

"Why is that?" I asked.

"Well... He could just buy the shop where you work and fire you. He's recently bought up all the other shops too, so if he buys the dorms as well..."

“…”

"Noooo! Noooo!" I said, clutching my head. I'm doomed. If they buy the dorms and kick me out, it'll be as easy as pie. I won't accept this! I want to stay with Ter! I don't want to walk into a lion's den! Noooo!

"No way, Ter! You have to ask Hill for me!" I grabbed Ter's hand, pleading so much that he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"North, calm down."

"Terrrr!"

"North, calm down. You don't want to live with Johan that much, do you? I heard his apartment is really fancy, right?"

"Well... It's quite luxurious; it even has a kitchen area. The bathroom is also spacious, in stark contrast to our cramped room with the chopping board on the bed. The whole room only has a microwave, refrigerator, and electric frying pan."

"The thing that's broken... You can't heat anything up with it anymore."

"It's always on the chopping board."

"You have to keep sleeping in the double bed with me, Ter."

"I'm getting goosebumps. Okay, okay, I'm not leaving you. Let me go talk to Hill again. Give me a good reason, think of one for me."

"The reason is that you don't want to leave me."

“Hill said you should move in with Jo for more comfort and convenience. I agree with that point because your quality of life will improve,” Ter said, and I sighed, letting go of his hand.

"We've been living together for so long, eating meals, playing games, doing laundry, being there for each other when we were sick, going everywhere together… I feel really left out," I said, looking at Ter with a weary expression. To be honest, Ter is a really good friend of mine. Even though we're in different departments, if we had separate rooms, we'd be completely estranged.

"It suddenly turned into drama. But it's true that I feel disappointed. Why don't you try talking to Jo and see what he says?"

"Aren't you going to tell Hill? If I talked to him, he might just pressure me even more."

"Really?"

"That's what I think. If he sees me being stubborn, he'll get even more annoyed. He's incredibly stubborn."

"Then you go tell Hill, too."

"Okay, I'll tell him after school. Do I have to force myself to tear up?" I asked.

"You don't need to overact like that. But do you even know how to cry?"

"What the hell? What do you think I am? Someone who doesn't have tears?"

"I've never seen you cry before. No matter how stressed you are, I never see you shed a tear, so I can't imagine it. When was the last time you cried?"

"Uh..." I thought for a moment, "That's high school, probably 10th or 11th grade."

"Why are you crying?"

"Mom hit me."

"You cried even after your mother hit you? What's wrong? Were you so heartbroken that you had to hide in a corner of your room and cry alone?"

"No. I cried while I was being beaten. It wasn't like I was trying to cry; it was just that I was in so much pain that the tears came out. And since they were already flowing, I just let it go, maybe Mom would feel sorry for me."

"Doesn't Mom feel guilty?"

"Not always. She yelled, 'What are you crying about! Are you even a man anymore? Stop right there!' Then she beat me until the stick broke."

"What did you do to make Mom hit you so hard?" Ter asked, looking at me sympathetically, but I felt a pang of sadness.

"I lied about going to work with a friend, but in reality, I snuck off to an internet cafe until morning."

"Yeah, you deserved a beating."

"Yeah, that's great, nobody's taking my side. My mom is a bit harsh, probably because she raised me alone."

"I understand now, you're so strong because your mother passed it down to you, right?" Ter said. "And that carefree attitude, too, you inherited it from your mother?"

"That's right. When my dad died, my mom didn't cry either. She said he'd gone to a

better place, so we shouldn't mourn the dead, but instead mourn the living, Harry."

"Wait a minute!" Ter laughed, "Harry? Did your mother really say that?"

"Yeah. I want to be sad because of my dad, but I can't even manage to be sad."

"Your mother isn't even sad anymore, right?"

"Yeah. I guess my dad didn't want us to be sad either. My family wasn't as bad as it should have been back then, but why did we suddenly drift off to talking about my dad?"

"Oh, why are you suddenly bringing that up? And hey, why does Johan like you so much?"

"Oh, right."

"Oh, you didn't know?"

"No." I shook my head, "Oh, right, I've never asked."

"Oh, you don't want to know?"

"I wanted to, but I forgot. You asked me, and now I remember. Oh, right, why do you like me?"

"You and he have met before, right?" I shook my head in response. "Think about it, maybe you're just like me."

"No way. I'm not as stupid as you."

"Wait! Are you insulting me?"

“No, no. There’s no way I wouldn’t remember. I’ve never met Jo, never met anyone like him,” I said. The real thing I remembered was when Jo came to pick Ter up to meet Hill. And then the actual meeting was at the pub.

"Are you sure? Do you believe it?"

"Ter, you're making me confused."

"See, it's not certain yet."

"What you said made me waver, but then I thought about it and realised it wasn't true. Nothing at all."

"Have you ever crossed paths before?"

"Well, I don't know who remembers that. But how could you fall for someone just from a fleeting encounter?"

"I don't know. Maybe if you paid attention a little, looked at him for a while, and then liked him."

"Really?" I frowned, not quite believing it. "No way, there's nothing about me that would make anyone like me, even though I am handsome."

"Pfft! Are you praising yourself?" Ter glared at me. "Did you do anything before? Maybe you'll even have a small detail that suggests you've met him before."

"Me? Um..." Why am I reminiscing so much lately? "From Monday to Friday, I went to school as usual. On weekends, I helped my mom push the vegetable cart at the market. Sometimes I'd sneak off to the internet cafe. I didn't take any extra classes. In the afternoons, I'd help my mom. Sometimes I'd work part-time. In the mornings, I'd help my uncle sell tofu at the market."

"Hmm... Your life is incredibly ordinary."

"I already told you I have nothing."

"Didn't you run into anyone you knew at all? Like regulars from your part-time job, for example?"

"Hmm... No, not really." I shook my head. "My part-time job isn't anything special."

"Hey."

"Yes?" I turned around at the sound of someone approaching the table. It was a girl with long, light brown hair, wearing a student uniform with a slightly tight skirt. She was probably a senior. She didn't look very happy.

"You're the one who got out of the car with Jo, right?"

"Yes."

"I'd like to talk to you for a bit. Is that okay?"

"Yes." She slowly walked out, and I stood up to follow, but Ter held my hand back. He looked clearly worried.

"That's not good, North."

"Yeah, it's okay."

"Don't go."

"It's really okay," I said, then removed his hand.

"Should I call Jo?"

“No need. Don’t call Hill yet. I’ll be right back.” I said, placing Ter’s hand on the table and gently squeezing it as if to reassure him. But why did I need to reassure him?

"Are you really okay? Can I come with you?"

"I'm fine. Trust me. I'll be right back."

"I'm worried about you, so if anything happens, call me right away."

"Yeah, yeah." I nodded and walked out of the cafe. Seeing the girl from earlier waiting, I followed her to the back of the faculty building, where there weren't many people around. Three other girls were already waiting there.

"What's going on?" I asked, stopping in front of four beautiful women.

"What's your name again? You're a freshman, right? What department are you in?"

"Yes, my name is North. I'm in the Electrical Engineering department."

"Hmm, engineering? I initially heard that Jo's new guy was studying that department, and I didn't think it would be a guy. Oh, my name is Jeer. I'm Jo's girlfriend," the woman outside the cafe said to me.

"Oh, yes." I nodded slightly.

"Oh my god, you say he's your boyfriend, but I can't see anything at all, you're so confident, huh?"

"That's right, you think Jo would dump his old girlfriend just because he has a new one? Don't be so confident, Johan is only serious about Jeer."

Huh?

I frowned, not understanding what these women were saying. A moment later, a torrent of insults began to pour out. Wasn't this me being picked on? Did they call me here just to yell at me? Is this how girls usually pick fights?

"Hey, aren't you going to say anything?" Jeer came closer and nudged my chest, making me recoil slightly.

"Are you trying to pick a fight with me?"

"Yeah, so what? I told you not to get involved with Jo. Aren't you ashamed of getting out of someone else's boyfriend's car?" Jeer said, her voice full of emotion. I'd better tell Jo to stay away from me because I haven't done anything.

"Is that all?"

"Yes, why? Is there something wrong?"

"Sister, let me warn you, you pushed me just now. If you were a man, I would have punched you," I said calmly. I have a short temper, and now I was starting to get angry. I'm not the type to take being bullied without fighting back.

"I don't know what kind of trouble girls usually pick, but if you just called me over to scold me, what can you do to me?"

"Do whatever you want to me, but I usually only fight with men."

"Hey! I'm a girl, you coward! Are you trying to hit a woman?" Jeer yelled at me, her face flushed red with anger and fear.

"Yeah, do I look like a really good person?"

Jeer looked like she was about to explode, raising her hand to slap me.

"Go ahead, I'll retaliate. I'm warning you."

I spoke up, and that made Jeer lower her hand; her friends also rushed in to intervene. And I'm being honest, I'm not so nice that I'd just sit idly by when someone tries to pick a fight with me. It's just that I've never been harassed like this by a girl before, and don't use gender as an excuse because it's clear she initiated it. I can't even imagine what that pretty face would look like after I punched her, because I'm sure Jeer wouldn't dare go to school for days.

"They only know how to use violence, not their brains. Does Jo really like that kind of person?" a friend of Jeer's said.

"Wait, your friend was the one who attacked me first," I said.

"Just ignore it, he'll get dumped eventually anyway."

"That's right, who would want to be in a relationship like this?"

“…”

"Do you know?"

"I came to pick a fight with you because deep down, I know I'm losing. I'm afraid of losing Johan."

"What you're doing is only devaluing yourself. You're so beautiful, I advise you not to do that anymore. You're studying pharmacy, right? If you get caught in this, it'll be tough when you find a job later." I reminded her of what I had just thought, then sighed to calm myself down, and turned to walk away, still hearing the scolding echoing behind me.

"How did it go?" Ter asked as soon as I returned to the table.

"It's so hot, being a man isn't fun at all, sigh" I sighed as I recalled the incident, then picked up my green tea and took a sip. "My green tea is so bland now."

"Were you in a fight with?"

"Yeah, just like in the movies."

"What did they say?"

"Just tell them to stay away. Hmph, go tell her people. I didn't do anything."

"What did you get yelled at about?"

"There's so much to it, I'm too lazy to listen, but what can she do to me if she just curses? Then I asked her if she wanted to do anything to me, but normally I only fight with men."

"That's a counter-scare."

"This isn't a threat, but if you mess with me, I'll retaliate."

"Wow, that's amazing, you really are..."

"Damn it, right? What else am I supposed to do? Be a punching bag? They picked a fight with the wrong person, and the reason was ridiculous."

"I was also afraid that Jo's ex-girlfriend would come looking for trouble with you. It happened to me before, but it wasn't to the point of being yelled at, just more subtle jabs."

"What were you doing then?" I asked.

"Well... I can't do anything. I don't know what to do."

"Oh my God, that's terrible."

"Are you angry now?"

"It wasn't exactly anger; I was just a little hot-headed. I calmed down quite a bit, though. If it had been a man, I probably would have punched her the moment she pushed me. And I have to admit, he looked incredibly handsome when I was warning him."

"You got pushed again? Why were they so rough?"

"Yeah, I hate that kind of thing. And who likes being picked on?"

"Are you angry with Jo?"

"No way. Why would I be angry? He didn't do anything to me."

"Not angry at all? His ex-girlfriend came to pick a fight with you."

"No, no. That's nonsense. I'm not angry. But I'm not the kind of person to stay silent because I intend to tell Jo about it."

"What did you say?"

════[changbins_delulu_wife]════

P’Hill? Fah too. Hill sat down next to Ter, and Fah sat on the sofa at the head of the table because we were sitting in the play area. School ended early? Why aren't Jo and Arthit here?

"Can I speak?" Ter asked.

"Yeah." I nodded and continued drinking my green tea, now with all the ice melted.

"That girl... Long, brownish hair, small in stature. What was her name again? Do you remember?"

"Jeer."

"Yeah, Jeer just picked a fight with North and even pushed him," Ter said, pouting at Hill. Hill raised an eyebrow slightly and turned to look at me.

"Did she really push you?"

"Well, but I didn't fall," I replied.

"Fah, you know what?"

"That sounds familiar. Jeer from Pharmacy, right?" Oh, you're studying Pharmacy? I thought you were studying Medicine.

"What did Jeer say?" Fah turned to ask me.

"She insulted me in every way imaginable and told me to stay away from him."

"Isn't Jo finished yet?" P’Hill asked, visibly annoyed.

"It's probably over. Jo has probably said everything already. It's just that the other side isn't willing to accept it," Fah said.

"Oh, where's Jo?" I interjected.

“Jo and Arthit were called in by the teacher, so they’re not going home yet. They’ve missed too many classes since the beginning of the semester, so they got called in. We were too lazy to wait, so we went down first.” Fah explained, and I sensed a gentle aura emanating from him, quite different from Johan.

"Are you okay? Are you alright?"

"It's alright."

"Nobody can do anything to North," Ter said. "He even threatened to punch people."

"Really?" Fah said, then chuckled softly.

"Yeah, she started it first, so I couldn't possibly be her punching bag, could I? But I didn't do anything, and I even warned her beforehand," I said.

"That's great," Fah said in a gentle voice. He's so soft-spoken, even more so than Hill! 😭

"Don't overthink it. Everyone Jo has been involved with has sought him out. He always said from the beginning that he wasn't serious, so if anyone couldn't accept that, they didn't need to talk to him. But some people still cling to him, as if they don't understand what he's saying."

"I don't think Jo is wrong," Fah said, and I nodded in understanding. I remembered May saying the same thing. She had also said that she and Jo had agreed not to interfere too much in each other's affairs.

"It's much better now."

Suddenly, Johan and Arthit, whom I didn't know when they arrived, came and sat with us. Johan sat down next to me, and Arthit sat next to Fah.

"Jo," P’Hill called out in a displeased tone, causing Jo to frown immediately.

"What?"

"Jeer - pharmacist."

"Who?"

"See, even he doesn't remember who it is," Fah said.

"What's wrong?" Jo asked.

"She came to pick a fight with him."

"Huh?" Johan raised his eyebrows in disbelief and turned to look at me, "Really?"

"Yes." I nodded. Wait, why does Johan look so scary? Oh no, I'm so scared, really scared. Can I sit next to Ter? I can already feel the atmosphere changing.

"Tell me."

"Huh? Um... she told me not to get involved with you anymore, and even called me out to yell at me."

"And then there's the push," P’Hill said.

"Actually, if it's not anything serious, we can tell Jo another time," Arthit interjected.

"There won't be anyone named Jeer left in the pharmacy department soon."

"Jo, he's scared of you," Fah said after noticing my worried frown. "Calm down. I feel like I said the exact same thing to you yesterday."

"Have you spoken to Jeer yet?" P’Hill asked.

"Already."

"How was it?"

"It's all settled."

"Does she understand?"

"Probably."

"Can you calm down a little?"

"Calm down."

"Then why should Arthit stop you from losing your temper?"

"Calm down? What's there to be calm about?" Athit said. "He’s not hurt, is he?" Then he turned to ask me, and I nodded, feeling confused.

"Oh, yes. I'm really fine."

"I'm fine. I'm really not angry with her at all, and it was just a small matter."

"Wait a moment."

After Johan finished speaking, he left the restaurant, leaving everyone at the table looking at each other in confusion. I watched him go, and I'm sure he went outside to take a phone call.

"Just like you said, Arthit," Fah said, glancing towards where Jo had just come out.

"See, I told you," Arthit said. "Just by looking at him, you can tell he has a real temper. Since we've known each other, Jo's quiet side is the scariest. And is the Jeer story true?"

"That's right," P’Hill replied.

"It's really confusing, and I'm tired just thinking about it. This person sought out Jo on their own; it's not like Jo sought them out."

“Almost never,” P’Hill said. “Absolutely not.”

"Maybe it was when he was drunk?"

"Jo get drunk? I saw him get plied with a whole case of beer and he wasn't even drunk," Fah said. Wait a minute, what kind of person gets plied with a whole case of beer and doesn't get drunk? He's not human!

"The person being picked on isn't even as angry as he is," Arthit said.

"Me?" I asked.

"Yeah. You have to be careful, your friend is getting more and more problematic."

"Huh?" I blinked.

"Are you badmouthing me?" Johan said, then plopped down in his usual spot next to me. Fah and Arthit immediately shook their heads, seemingly teasing him. Johan said nothing, just sighed and looked at us all wearily. After that, we chatted about random things for a while before everyone went home.

"So, are we going to see a movie or not?" Ter asked as they walked to the parking lot.

"Oh, so what do we do now?"

"Ask Jo."

"He still seems upset," I said, glancing at Johan walking ahead. "Maybe we can ask him later." After talking to Ter, I got into the car and sat in the driver's seat. The atmosphere in the car was as quiet as usual, but I felt a little suffocated.

"Um... sir..."

"Does it hurt anywhere?"

"Oh, no. I'm fine."

Johan reached out and gently stroked my cheek.

"Next time something happens, you have to tell me first. Understand?"

"Yes."

“…”

"You're the only one I have."