Love Mechanics

Chapter 20. What are We?

 

[Mark Masa]

 

I place my face on P'Vee's neck to avoid the sun. He cranes his neck so that I can easily lean in. He's been with me the entire time over the past two or three days since getting back from Samet Island. We've been practically stuck together that we may well melt into each other sooner or later. The warmth of the one beside me makes me not want to get up, even though I'm aware of how late it is now.

 

I glance up at P'Vee as he softly moans and pulls me in for an embrace. I don't know why, but my face heats up upon seeing his face. I glance at him just for a brief moment before digging back into that broad chest of his.

 

"You've woken up, but why don't you get up?" The stern voice rings out beside my ear, prompting me to look up slowly. The chiselled, high-bridged nose presses against my mop of hair, the pretty, thin lips against my forehead.

 

"Lazy," I reply, before pressing my face down once again, making my face closer to him.

 

"Are you wheedling?" P'Vee says, before slipping his hand under my neck.

"No..." I'm not wheedling. I'm just being natural.

 

"Why you... making me fall for you deeper each day." He utters softly and presses his nose down on my mop of hair. I move closer to embrace him, wrapping my hand around his waist and cuddling him.

 

"I'm just trying to avoid the sun."

"Are you gonna avoid it all day long? Aren't you hungry?" He inquires.

 

"I am...but not that much," I reply softly.

 

"I'm not hungry either, and really want to spend time with you." P'Vee leans down to whisper in my ear.

 

"P'..." He's been so clear to me ever since he confessed his fondness for me.

 

"Hmph! Get up. We might die of stomach ulcers, which will be a burden on our friends." He utters, while hitting my arm gently.

"You won't die of stomach ulcers, you'll die of liver cirrhosis," I say wryly, before slowly peeling myself away. I shake my head a bit and stretch my body once I sit up, while P'Vee just twists his neck back and forth.

 

"You like to jinx your hubby so much, huh?"

 

"Hubby my ass...Uhh~" I cannot complete the sentence, as P'Vee clasps his lips onto my mouth. He sucks on it so hard that it makes sounds, before pulling away and raising his brows at me. The handsome guy stands up and goes to the toilet in a good mood, while I turn back to the pillow once I gather my wits.

 

"I'm just gonna wash my face. Don't keep on sleeping!" PVee shouts from the front of the toilet, as if knowing what I'm about to do next. I have no choice but to pat the pillow back to its original fluffy form and pull up the blanket that he'd kicked to the end of the bed and fold it, before heading to the toilet to wash my face after him.

 

We don't spend much time washing up. P Vee's now making something for us to eat, while I sit there waiting to eat. It's not that I don't know how to cook, but he insists on cooking for me. I can whip up some simple egg dishes, microwavable stuff, and instant noodles —not as bad as those spoiled rich kids in TV dramas who'd starve to death. But this is easy, though, just sitting and waiting for someone to cook food for you. I can't help but smile upon seeing him, even though he has his back turned to me and can't see me. At least I can smile at his back.

 

The back of the crewneck T-shirt moves up and down with the rhythm of his arm and his steps. I can't help myself from taking out my phone to snap a picture of that good-looking back.

 

"If you're gonna do that, then just upload the photo and tell the whole world what we are." He turns to me and serves the stir-fried vegetables onto the dish in front of me."Are you crazy? Just go and break up with her properly first." I retort, trying to be lighthearted, though it seems he doesn't find it funny. His sharp eyes glare at me stiffly, making me freeze. He doesn't say anything, merely getting back to cooking.

 

The atmosphere among us is covered with silence. I don't utter another word, afraid of upsetting him again. It's not that I don't want to tell others we're an item, but come to think of it, we actually aren't really an item yet. Just that he says he likes me, and I want him as well, that's all.

"You speak as if you don't want to become an item with me," P'Vee mentions when turning to serve omelette on the plate. His sharp eyes look towards me upon finishing his words. I can only sigh and deliberate to him.

 

"No...but you haven't broken up with her yet, after all."

 

"How different is it from breaking up? She's got her new boyfriend, and I've got you." He says, before placing a plate of rice in front of me and then slipping into the opposite seat.

 

"Well..." What he says is true, though. The story between P'Vee and P'Ploy has ended, but that woman still looms large. Even though she doesn't show up physically, news constantly emerges about her, but P'Vee doesn't pay any heed.

 

"Never mind. Just eat up. I made all this for you." He interjects and scoops some stir-fried vegetables for me. I glance at him a bit before lowering my face to eat.

I can feel that Vee is now very clear to me. When he mentions that he likes me, I can truly sense it. His genuine feelings are also conveyed through his actions. I want to announce it to everyone just as he wants me to, but it's been only a few months since he called off the relationship with his ex. His ex is still trying to get back together with him, so how can I feel comfortable with making an announcement that would make me seem like the one he's having an affair with?

 

"Yes, Ploy..." I put my spoon down and look up at P'Vee, who's talking on the phone. "I've got something to talk to you about. Are you free these days?" He keeps speaking in a flat tone, not being too expressive, though his eyes look towards me as if to say, "After I talk to her, you'd better announce us to the world!" "Yes, okay...see you then."

 

"P'Vee..."

 

"This evening I'm going to talk with Ploy at the newly opened coffee shop." He tells me, cutting my sentence short.

 

"Why?"

 

"Cause you want us to break up. I've been meaning to do this for a while now." He says in a bitter voice, as if somehow he's upset with me, too.

 

"You've stopped loving her?"

"I might've been a fool. But once I'm enlightened, I won't be foolish anymore." He replies at length.

 

"Can you just keep things simple? Why are you saying complicated things that make me have to interpret?"

"Sure! I've stopped loving Ploy. I like you, Mark. If my feelings for you develop further, I'll confess my love to you. Simple enough?" P'Vee's quite something... I clamp my lips tight after he finishes talking. The handsome face smiles upon seeing me blush. The atmosphere at the table gets better once he flashes his smile, and I can't stand seeing his crazy grin. P'Vee's quite something, really.

 

We separate to deal with our own matters for the day. After finishing breakfast, he goes back home. His mother called him many times, and I tried to tell him to go back, too, but he kept on refusing. It wasn't until later that P'Yoo called, and they discussed over the phone that he was willing to head back home.

 

I kept sleeping in the room till several hours past noon. P'Vee said he was going to see Ploy in the evening, but what time exactly? It's not that I mind them seeing each other like this. After all, he said clearly that he's going to break up with her, so there's no point in my being silly and getting jealous over such a matter. I wouldn't be like that. I trust that he's really going to call things off with her. I'll just wait and see how it goes once he gets back.

 

Dew dely

45 mins

 

Surely there's a chance for them to get back together~ Someone took a snap of the Prom King and Prom Queen lovers that seemed to be keeping a distance. The photo taker shared more gossip, revealing that Ploy was sitting there waiting, and then Vee came in to try to reconcile with her. They even held hands. Tears were flowing. They hugged one another before departing. Fan club followers suspect that a break-up isn't on the cards, but rather that there's a high chance of returning~

1,006 likes 341 comments

 

It's the ones in the news, the captions, or the news photo, but the comments and likes go through the roof, making the post rise to the top of my newsfeed as soon as I open the application. I press on the photo as soon as I read the captions. The first photo is of PVee and P'Ploy sitting down and holding hands. The girl's pretty face is sullen, as if she is about to cry. It appears she really did cry, as the second photo shows P'Vee's hand placed on her wet cheek. The third photo shows them smiling at each other, while they embrace in the fourth. In the middle of the coffee shop...hugging each other?

 

I try to calm my mind by not reading the comments section that pains my heart. Perhaps over half of the commenters wish to see them get back together. All I have to do now is wait. Wait for P'Vee to explain. 4 pm turns into 5 pm, then 6 pm, and finally 7 pm as time passes. The phone in my hand still doesn't ring out. Some chat notifications from friends bounce up, but I ignore them. Why am I such a fool as to wait for this one person, not even knowing his whereabouts?

 

Rrrr~

I quickly lift my phone to have a look, but my heart slowly deflates upon seeing the incoming caller. I want to cut off the line, but that would make him come all the way over to my dormitory.

 

"Yeah."

[The hell's going on? I thought he was dating you. What's this freakin' news then?] My friend asks me in a concerned voice.

 

"I saw it just now," I reply to James with a calm demeanour, in contrast to him, who's cursing out rapidly in English.

 

[I didn't ask you whether you've seen the news. What I wanna know is how's your relationship status with that...senior!] James tried hard to tone down the last word, as he was about to utter another word before saying senior.

 

"I dunno, James," I reply simply, prompting my friend to grumble out loud. James is a very close friend of mine, since our parents are also close. We've known each other since birth, and we both don't have any siblings, so it's natural that I love him like a real brother.

 

[Come and open the door for us now, Mark. Wind and I are almost at your room.]

 

I let out a long sigh upon knowing that they're coming over to see me, before rubbing my face and eyes and hanging up, even though James is still complaining.

Whatever...he'll come and complain more when he gets here, anyway. 

 

I sit on the sofa, as the two friends sit by my side and stare at me. I want to raise my face to look into their eyes, but I feel some guilt inside, so I dare not look at them. P'Yeewa had called earlier, but they told me not to pick up the phone.

 

"I'll allow you to pick up the call from that senior only," James says, and then crosses his arms. I nod in acknowledgement.

 

"The hell's going on? I saw you guys go all the way to Samet Island together, but why did it turn out like this?"

"I'm waiting for him."

 

"You've been waiting for him for ages, Mark. It should well be beyond your patience limit by now. You've been waiting far too long for clarity from this guy." I slowly look up at James, not daring to utter a word, since every word James says pummels at my heart.

 

"He...says he likes me," I say to James softly. I cannot make a calm tone, nor look at him irritably like previous times, because I'm the one in the wrong this time. I'm the one who approached him first. I didn't heed my friend's warning.

 

"It's just an expression of fondness, Mark. Besides, you've liked him for a long time. It took nearly a year for him to say that he likes you back." James responds wryly.

 

"You're also a bit too much, James. It's his matter, after all. If Mark's hurt, then we should just help console him." Wind turns and says to James. The one who turns to listen merely looks away from me and crosses his legs.

 

"He's right, though," I say quietly, before looking out the door. What James says is not wrong at all. He's right to have warned me. But it's me...who made the choice. I chose to wait, to let him do such things. If only I had kept quiet or prevented him from going, then we'd be sitting down having dinner or watching some movie together by now.

 

I liked P'Vee first. That's something I never expected to happen, and it's a feeling that I wasn't prepared to deal with. I never hoped to be beside 'Vee, since he already had someone whom he loved. Till one day they quarrelled and kept a distance. That day, I was the one who decided to approach P'Vee. Even though I'm not sure about our relationship status, if someone were to ask how my heart feels, it would be clear that the person who approaches the other party, even though he hasn't broken up yet, is called a lover.

 

The lover in an affair doesn't have the right to request much, and has no right to be as possessive as his true partner.

 

"Are you gonna quit him or carry on?" Wind asks me.

"I dunno, man," I reply to him.

 

"Both you and P'Vee aren't that different. You guys both seem to like being indecisive and not clear to each other. We, as friends, can't help but be worried. We really feel uncomfortable seeing the position you've gotten yourself into, man." James says.

 

"To be honest, I don't really wanna take P'Vee's side. James told me that P'Vee made you hurt, but I saw that you were happy when you're with him, so I didn't say much, though I'm also worried like James is." Wind says, before looking at my eyes. The small friend of mine reaches out his hand and squeezes my hand gently.

 

"Thanks," I say simply, before standing up and going over to the bedroom to get a cigarette. I turn back and look at both of them before heading towards the balcony.

 

I take out a cigarette and light it up, puffing the smoke out slowly into the air and looking at it fade away. The smoke is no different from P'Vee's relationship with me. It's clear when newly puffed out, but then it eventually fades away. I try not to think too much, to stay calm and wait for his explanation, but those efforts disappeared once my friends came over to visit. The more James talks negatively about P'Vee, the less I want to wait.

 

I want to go to him and just ask him directly, but I can't. It can't be like what Dew said, that he intended to go and make up with her, because his behaviour and his eyes, which looked at me before heading out, made me believe. I really thought that he was going to call it quits with her.

 

Ploy Napas

2 mins

Thank you for coming to see me. Everything is as before.

24 likes 4 comments

 

One status comes up like that. It appears on my newsfeed. I wasn't intending to see it or read on, but instead, my hand pressed on the attached photo. It's P'Vee's photo, which was taken from Ploy's phone. He's having a green tea cake, with a green tea frappe placed beside. No matter how well-taken or picturesque the photo is, nor how well-encapsulated the captions are, my heart simply does not feel happy for them.

 

DarikaaAN: The third party's gotta make way

Preemie: So you guys are back together again? Congrats Yewaa: Ya fucker, Vee pVnn

Northh: I've warned you

 

The more comments I read, the lower my tolerance level becomes. Whoever reads the messages would assume that they've gotten back together. Having been uploaded just after Dew's post, this must make it a huge story. I force a smile to myself before locking the phone screen. P'Yeewa calls me, but I don't pick up. I want to be alone right now.

 

Rrrr~

Before I can start another cigarette, the phone rings, prompting me to reconsider my decision to avoid calls and take my phone out to have a look. The incoming call makes my heart pound. My hand is about to take the call, but my mind is too weak to do so. I dare not listen. What if he says to me that he isn't coming back to see me? Then what am I to do?

 

"..." I don't say anything.

 

[Have you seen those posts yet?] An anxious voice asks me. It seems chaotic where he is, as he can hear chattering nearby and some music coming through the line.

 

"Yeah," I reply softly.

 

[Listen to me first...] My heart races as soon as I hear him say such words. No matter what the explanation is, I want to listen to it. Just speaking to me that he'll explain things means it's not like what others think.

 

"I'm waiting to listen. Why have you just called?"

[l'm with Ploy now.] I unwittingly grip my phone tighter upon hearing his words.

 

"You still haven't split up?" You've been together since the late afternoon till now. What have you guys been up to? The wristwatch that I'm wearing tells me that it's nearly 9 pm. What has he been doing during the past few hours with that woman?

 

[We've split up already...ever since I told her about breaking up with her at 4 pm. I've no idea why Dew wrote such gossipy news, but I've already asked Yeewa to call her. I've broken up with Ploy...] He says calmly and deliberately.

 

"Why are you guys still together, then?"

[Yeewa invited me to come out. They're about to arrive. But then I ran into Ploy first.]

 

"Why does she post as if you guys are back together?" I ask, thinking of the most recent post I saw.

 

[What post? What did Ploy say?]

 

"Just a while ago. She thanked you for going to see her." I tell him, according to what I read, as I look back into the room to see James and Wind looking at me with concern.

 

[I was the one who walked over and greeted her first.]

"P'Vee." I make a deep voice to call out his name.

 

[We split up on good terms, Mark. We remain as friends. I told Ploy that I've got someone else, and that I don't love her anymore. But I don't want our past relationship to be cut off just like that. We can remain as friends. Both she and I are in the wrong, so we understand each other.] I listen to his explanation, while doubt still pervades my mind.

 

"Can you really remain friends after breaking up?" I ask him softly. P'Vee goes quiet, and I hear him let out a deep sigh.

 

[Come on, Mark...you stopped liking Bar, but you could still be senior-junior.] "How's that the same?"

 

P'Bar and I didn't date. I declared my affection to him, and he decided to end it, so how could I continue persisting? Besides, we're in the same faculty, so as a senior and junior we can't just frown at each other whenever we meet.

 

[Don't be silly, Mark. Ploy and I really aren't an item anymore. You can come over and see for yourself.] P'Vee says.

 

"Where are you?"

[Pub P. Just come over and see how she and I are. Come over and let her know about our status. Don't bother about the gossipy news, clear that up.] 

 

I hang up the phone after he finishes talking. Breaking up can occur on both good and bad terms. But they were so in love with each other, so how can he expect me to feel okay with seeing these posts where they show their affection? I don't want to announce to the world, nor do I want others to know about us, but what I really want is clarity, as it can make us content together without worrying that one day he'll leave me—no need to fear that our story could suddenly come to an abrupt end.

 

I go back into the room and take out my jacket. I walk out to see my friends, who raise their eyebrows at me, so I tell them the place I'm heading to. James and Wind moan along the way there. James chides P'Vee, while Wind is more positive.

 

"Isn't he right to have called, though?" If he really got back together with her, then why would he have bothered to call Mark? Wind turns to say to James. "Just shut that mouth of yours, shorty." He probably fucked her silly several times over before calling. 

 

"Hey, big boy, why do you think of him in such a negative light? Wind contends.

 

"And why do you have to see him in a positive light? "And why do both of you have to quarrel and give me a headache? I speak up calmly. James curses out frighteningly, while Wind turns and looks out to the road.

 

Not long after, we arrive at the pub in question. I walk inside and see that it's starting to get crowded. I look for P Vee's table, and see PYeewa and Kle sitting not far from the stage. Beside them, PYoo, and their crew.

 

"Hello." I walk over to greet her, just to be polite. P’Yeewa looks at me with a displeased face.

 

“I've been calling you over a hundred times, but why didn't you pick up? I was worried, you know?” The pretty senior grabs my hand and seats me beside her, nodding to James and Wind to sit on the opposite side.

 

"I'm sorry...

"Sigh- How'd you get here, anyways? Yeewa inquires.

 

“Vee told me," I reply softly, before looking for the one who called me over.

 

"He went to the toilet," Nuea says to me. I look up and lock eyes with the senior whom I haven't met since coming back from Samet Island. I didn't update or tell him about anything, which makes me feel guilty.

 

"PNuea..."

 

“What? I'm okay...I told you already that I wasn't serious yet." 'Nuea says, as he places his tender hand on my head.

 

"Go and see him," PNuea tells me with a smile. I look into his pretty pair of eyes and his whole-hearted smile, before letting out a sigh.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"Why are you apologising...we already agreed that I wasn't gonna be serious with you." He smiles and gives me a light nudge, prompting me to stand up and look back at him once more. He nods at me.

 

"I'm going with you." James stands up, but Wind grabs his hand.

"Is it any of your business, James?"

 

"Whosever business it is, I'm going too," James utters, so I let out a sigh and lead him to the toilet.

 

We pass by the crowds that have increased the later it becomes. The pulsating music that booms from the loudspeakers vibrates through our nerves. We pass groups of revellers raising glasses at each other till we reach the toilet. Several couples are making out in this area, but luckily, I can't see the one I'm trying to look for.

 

I open the door to the men's room, but what freezes me in my tracks is the image that appears in front of me. It is of two people kissing passionately, as if they were deeply in love but had been separated for a long time. The side of that guy's body sticks in my mind, just as I'd seen it this morning. His waist is wrapped around by the small hand of that woman. The handsome face I'm familiar with doesn't turn towards me. Those chestnut lips that kissed me just this morning are frolicking with the pretty lips. They're kissing by the sink.

 

"Ya fucker!"

Whoosh!

"Vee!"

 

James steps in and pulls P'Vee away before throwing a punch at him and flooring him. That woman looks at James before helping P Vee up. P'Vee doesn't see me yet, since he doesn't look in my direction, while I don't have enough strength to walk towards them.

 

"The fuck are you doin'? Have you ever thought about his feelings before doing such things!?" James points at me, who's standing next to the door. The handsome face of the one who invited me here slowly follows his finger. The sharp eyes widen upon locking eyes with me. I force myself to smile and lock my eyes with his. His two legs are about to step towards me, but I turn around and show my back to him before he can take a step forward.

 

"Mark!..Mark!"

"Don't follow him!"

 

I don't know what commotion transpired inside. James' voice that rings out doesn't make me look back. I ignore the people looking at me, as well as the gossipy chattering, which simply goes through my ears. I can barely see P'Yeewa and P'Kla, who zip by me. All I see now is P'Vee kissing P'Ploy. Their kiss was so passionate, like long-lost lovers, as if to reaffirm their love forever after. 

 

In my ears, I can only hear P'Vee's deep voice constantly telling me that he'll break up with her, the same deep voice that said to me this morning that he's stopped loving her. The voice told me just a while ago to come over and let P'Ploy know our relationship status.

 

"Mark...Mark!" The shaking on my shoulder brings me back to my senses. I have no idea how I walked out to the parking lot. I don't know when those indistinct sounds disappeared, nor when the tears started streaming down my face.

 

"Hick! P'Nuea..."