Love Mechanics

Chapter 17. Don’t be silly.

 

[Vee Vivis] 

 

The morning, which should start brightly, is not quite like that for me. I haven't cleared up my own issues yet, and my friend comes along and complains about his quarrels with his boyfriend. I consoled Bar for a long time last night, eventually lulling him to sleep. I waited for Tossakan to come back, but that pretty boy was nowhere to be seen. So I ended up staying with Bar the whole night.

 

I wake up before him, and am now on my way to Mark's room, whom I had fought with yesterday. Once I had some time to reflect upon it by myself, I realised that I was too hot-headed. In fact, I don't have any right to be jealous over him, but I made a mistake. Seeing him embracing Nuea like that made me lose it. The more I see Nuea following Mark around, the more I want to drag him out right away.

 

"I've gotta go help out the seniors sort out the medicine kits. You sleep a bit more. You were up all night, after all." 

 

I stand still upon seeing Tossakan walking out of Mark's room. So many emotions brim up through my body that I cannot distinguish them. I think about things I shouldn't, and it makes me stressed out.

 

"Weren't you up all night, too?" I only hear Mark's voice, as Kan's body is in his way, and that kid is also inside the room.

 

"But your body feels hot. Come down and get some medicine later."

 So that means you guys have touched one another's bodies?

 

"I wanna get some more sleep first."

"Sure...keep my shirt for me too, will ya?"

 

"Yeah."

 

The door is closed by the one who remains inside. Tossakan walks towards me, and I don't try to avoid him. I see that the shirt he's wearing belongs to that kid. I tighten my fists, wanting to go and grab the medical student by the collar and unleash a punch on him. So you guys were together while leaving Bar and me. Tossakan raises his brows upon seeing me. The tall guy who's about my height lowers his body a bit and looks at me with his usual light grin. I adored him in those previous times, but not this time.

 

"Wait!" I call out to him before he walks past. Kan stops walking and turns to me.

"Yes?" I know he's aware. A smart guy like him would surely know.

 

And the kid in the room would have probably told him already. But what I don't know is how much he knows. I don't know what they talked about.

 

"You fought with my friend and then came to sleep with that dude?" I scold him and point to the room he just exited from.

 

"Your friend knows that I slept with Mark. And sleeping in this case isn't the same as when you sleep with him." He explains, before making an annoyed face. "Stop looking at me in such a bad way, P'Vee. You think that he and I did it, but in fact I love P'Bar to bits, and that dude was up all night just thinking of you." Tossakan claims as he points to Mark's room. Was he up all night thinking of me?

 

"Well, you came out of his room..."

 

"Don't think he's that easy. He's a human being with feelings, too. Don't believe things based on what you see, but listen to what he has to say as well." He says to me. I turn away from the junior's gaze, who's chiding me as if he's upset at me instead of Mark.

 

"I do wanna listen, but then I get upset every time before I hear him out. Shit..." I reprimand him, before brushing my hair back to relieve my anger.

 

"You're both guys, so no one relents, right? You've gotta change, too. If you really wanna get serious with him, it's not gonna be like dating a girl. He's a guy, so he's gotta be able to be close to other guys, ya got that?"

 

"Lecturing me and all, why don't you go and sort out your own mess first?" I rebuke him, even though what he's saying is absolutely correct.

 

"I was just about to." He says, before slowly looking up at me. "But I don't dare to face P'Bar, P'Vee." The eyes that are looking at me are like those of a puppy seeking advice, prompting me to grin.

 

"That's your problem. He was crying his balls out last night." I say, as I pat his shoulder a couple of times. Kan glares at me before mumbling that he hopes Mark stays angry at me for a long time. I disregard his well-wishing, since I've now already arrived at the front door of Mark's room.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

 

I knock on the door three times to call the person inside. I don't utter anything nor reveal who I am.

 

"Forgot something...?" The groggy eyes and sleepy voice make me raise my brows in displeasure. Seeing him in a long, thin shirt with tight shorts makes me even more upset. Even though he looks handsome and tall with a chiselled face, he still likes guys, right? And he spent the whole night with a guy...my brows flinched, followed by my mouth, once I finished surveying him. I look at the guy who's staring back at me with a stunned expression, before saying to him softly.

 

"I forgot my wife."

"Why..you!.."

 

I clasp my mouth against those thin lips before he can curse me, not caring how stunned the person in front of me is. I press my kiss to him again and again, before sucking his lips in. The younger one hits my back and tries to pull away. But sorry...I'm not letting him go this time.

 

I use my legs to shove Mark inside, even as our bodies are locked against each other. I reach my arm out to close the door, while he steps backwards according to my will. We both stand in the middle of the room.

 

Thump!

 

"Are you crazy or something!?" He manages to push me away. My body sways a bit, though I can maintain my balance. I straighten myself up and look at the one who's furious. I step towards him and look up to stare at his face.

 

"I'm here to apologise." Mark's mouth is agape upon hearing my words. He remains in that pose for several seconds before coming to his senses and letting out a Hmph from his throat.

 

"You think I'm easy?" I feel numb upon hearing his words. I don't want him to look down on himself or hurt himself, but it ends up being me who does that to him.

 

"I'm sorry..." I say, before reaching out to hold his hand, but he pulls his hand away. The hand that's been snubbed is nothing compared to my rebuffed heart.

 

"Who do you think you are? Who do you think I am? Do you think that because I like you, you can do whatever you want to me? That you can scold me or look down on me, however you want?" He utters calmly, along with a scornful smile which I'd never seen him flash before.

 

"I'm sorry...I was mad at the time. The photo was so obvious, and now you even got something going on with Kan."

 

"What do you mean by something going on?" He lashes his eyes and asks bitterly.

"I...know it's nothing. I talked to Kan just now." I reply softly.

 

"Then why don't you go talk to P'Nuea as well? Or were you busy talking to P'Ploy all night?"

 

"I didn't talk to Ploy. And I didn't talk to Nuea either, because he said he likes you." I answer back.

 

"So why are you talking to me then?"

 

"Mark..." My voice intensifies. "I'm sorry." And I try harder to suppress my emotions.

 

"I don't know what to say anymore. I'm so freakin' frustrated. I thought about you the whole night, but I don't want to see your face, nor do I want to hear your voice. I don't want to hear that you're back together with her." He says, looking at me. His trembling eyes jerk at my heart.

 

The soft lump of meat on my left side is squeezing tight, sending pain throughout my body.

 

"I didn't talk to her..." I clarify as I walk towards him. "I admit to thinking of her, but I think of you more," I say before looking at his eyes. His oval eyes look into mine. The glare from his eyes and his clenched lips make me feel his pain.

 

"When are you gonna stop loving her?" He asks, before those pair of eyes let tears stream down them. I don't like this at all...when he cries. I don't want to see him being weak, but it's me who puts him in such a state. "Can't you stop loving her? You can't have both her and me at the same time, hic! It hurts."

 

"Mark..." I purr his name, before pulling him in for an embrace. I use one hand to press his head against my shoulder, while the other wraps around his waist and pulls him in.

 

"..." 

There's no reply. Nor any reaction. Mark doesn't embrace me back, nor does he push me away.

 

"Can it just be us for now...?" I tighten my embrace. "I'll talk to her when I get back, but for now, can it just be you and me? Will you be okay if I behave selfishly just for one more time?" After asking, I pull myself away from him in order to look at his eyes. His oval eyes are a bit swollen, though he locks eyes with me.

 

"You're such a bastard..." He says as he comes nearer to me. He places his weight over me and places his head on my shoulder again. "A real fuckin' bastard."

 

"I admit," I reply to him, and then lift my hands up to embrace the one who's scolding me. I softly rub the hair on his temple, in place of comforting words, to make him stop crying.

 

"You're a selfish bastard." His soft muttering can be heard not far from my ear.

 

"I admit everything..." I admit it all. As long as I get to be with him, admit everything.

 

I feel the movement of the one who's about my height. Mark slowly pulls himself out of the embrace that we've been in for a while. He looks at my face before uttering softly.

 

"P'Nuea likes me." He says something that I'm already aware of. "

“I told him there's someone I like already, but he said he'll wait."

 

"Wait for what?" Frankly speaking, I don't understand Nuea. The kid in front of me has been clear enough, but he still insists on hanging around.

 

"If I start dating that person, then he'll give up on me. But if I don't, then he asks that I go to him." He says and looks at me, as if asking me something and wanting me to say something. I flash a handsome smile before approaching his reddened ear that resulted from him crying too much.

 

"You're never gonna go to him." The person who hears this turns to me, making our faces near to one another. "I won't allow that," I say, and then softly plant my nose onto his moist cheek.

 

"Can I not allow you to go back to her, then?" He pulls away and asks.

"Right now, the only one I have is you."

 

"What about in the future?" The raspy voice asks, his eyes awaiting the answer.

 

"Just you," I utter, before planting a kiss on the red and swollen lips of his. I softly suck on them before using my tongue to seek permission to enter the crevice. Mark stays still at first, but once I tighten my embrace, he opens his mouth and kisses me back. We kiss like that for several minutes.

 

Kissing conveys our feelings and unleashes all the suppressed emotions. The kissing is like a promise. By which I promise that everything will be clearer from now on...

 

I'm unaware of when we both lie down on the bed. It doesn't seem as important as the sweet lips that are brushing against me. My mouth is still fully focused on his, and Mark is still responding to my kissing. Our tongues intertwine messily, our salivas flow out so much that I have to pull my face away to wipe the corner of his mouth. We continue to caress one another, before I move up to press my nose against his bright cheek.

 

"... gotta go join in the activities." The raspy voice pants out, making me smile. I look at his face as he avoids my gaze before lying down beside me.

 

"I won't do it. If you don't want me to, then I won't do it." I say, before placing my hand across his waist. I move nearer, till my face brushes against his stiff arm, before kissing his firm muscles that bulge out of his thin shirt.

 

"I said I've gotta go join in the activities." He says, before pulling his arm away. I let out a long sigh, before taking the phone out of my pocket pants to call a close friend.

 

"Yeewa," I call out her name as soon as she picks up.

 

[What is it? Why don't you wait for me to even say hello?] My friend's sweet voice queries.

 

"Your junior line's sick," I say, before turning my face towards Mark. I lift my hand up to gently touch his neck, though the other person flinches. "He's really hot, and panting a bit too," I say with a smile, trying to hold back a chortle upon seeing Mark's face. His eyes express displeasure, though his face blushes red.

 

[Is it serious? You want me to call a doctor?]

 

"No need. I'm just calling to tell you that we're not gonna join the morning session." I say to my friend calmly.

 

[Wait a minute...something's fishy.]

 

"I'm not calling for you to be suspicious. I'm calling to inform you. Talk to you later." I say, and then hang up the phone before Yeewa complains any further. I raise my brows to Mark, who frowns back at me.

 

"Such a bastard." He says softly, while I smile in response.

 

"You're the one who said I'm a bastard," I say, before lifting my hand up to mess with his hair. He scowls at me, but then turns his face away.

 

I look at Mark, who's facing the window, and move closer to him. I lower myself to lean against his firm arm before putting my arm around his waist. He doesn't raise his arm to wrap around my neck or rub my head, but his body stiffens. The one who was crying just now turns towards me, before flinching as I look up at him.

 

"So are we on good terms?" I say in a wheedling manner. The other person's face gradually blushes, before the oval eyes look away. I've never wheedled him before, and he rarely wheedles me.

 

..." There's no response from the tall person beside me. Mark merely shifts his body a bit, but I pull him in so that he can't move.

 

"We're good now. We just kissed and made up." I continue, so he looks down at me. I look up, before pulling his long arm along the bed and lying myself down again, this time so that I can lie on his arm. He stares at me with a confused look, though he doesn't move away.

 

"P'..."

"Let's be good. I've wheedled you this much already." I wheedle him with a smile. The red-faced guy unfurls a grin before muttering.

 

"You think you're cute when you do that?" His words take away all my confidence. The wheedling face suddenly turns into a frowning one.

 

"Well... you said you like it, so I..."My voice fades away once the other person lowers himself to softly kiss my lips. Mark remains like that for what feels like minutes before sucking on my lips and withdrawing.

 

"I like it so much I can't get myself out of this..." He says, prompting me to flash out a huge smile.

 

"I also feel like I'm falling for you," I say blushingly, before turning sideways towards him. He moves closer to me and pulls my face into his sweet-smelling neck. He lowers his head so that his sharp chin is placed on my head.

 

"I really like it this way, P'Vee." I lean closer to his body in order to say I really like it this way, too.

 

I lie down, hugging Mark for over an hour. I come to my senses not because I feel less sleepy, but because the other guy's body has heated up. I move away from him a bit and then look at the clock. It's over 9, so better to get some breakfast.

 

I come down to find something for Mark to eat, ending up with some boiled rice and fish. Before heading back, I go to the medical students to request medication to reduce his fever. I try to find Kan and Bar, but they're nowhere to be seen. Anyhow... I'll just let them sort things out among themselves. I won't bother anymore. The one I'm concerned about right now is having a fever in his room.

 

"If it's a sore throat, then drink warm water. But I suggest refraining from drinking cold water and using a wet cloth instead of showering. Take this medicine following meals." The fair-skinned future doctor instructs me with a smile before handing me the medicine.

 

"Thank you," I respond politely.

 

"Can I take your temperature?" He picks up the thermometer and looks at me as if to ask for permission.

 

"I'm fine. It's a junior." I tell him with a smile. He nods understandingly, before proceeding to explain about wiping the body with a wet cloth and then excusing himself.

 

I come back up to the room along with the tray of boiled rice and medicine. I place it on the side of the bed, then walk over to the other person. I lift my hand up to softly touch his forehead, feeling that he's not that hot, though he should take medicine. I go and prepare some warm water, then come back to sit down, using a cloth to soak it and wring it out as instructed by the doctor. I gently wipe his face before moving down to his neck. Mark flinches and turns his neck away upon realising that there's something on his neck, before opening his eyes and looking at me, confused.

 

"I'm wiping you down. Your body's hot." I say to him, even though he didn't ask me anything yet. He nods in acknowledgement, before slowly sitting up, then...

 

Whoosh!

 

He suddenly takes his shirt off and turns to look at me with bleary eyes, prompting me to swallow my saliva as I hold the cloth in my hand. Ya little brat...doesn't he realise that even though we're both guys, he makes me tremble in the same way that I make him? And showing off his firm body like this? What am I to do?

 

"Wipe my back, too. I'm feeling so freakin' icky." He says before lying down on his front. I gulp my saliva once more.

 

Mark turns his face another way, which is good for my eyes. I choose not to pay attention to the firm flesh on his back, or the pretty waist which I'd held before. I try to avoid looking at the round butt that is covered by his thin pants. But one thought floats into my head. Can a guy's butt be this firm?

 

"Go on, wipe it." He turns to look at me, his voice snapping me back to my senses. I try to inhale air into my lungs and tell myself to suppress my feelings. I look at the cloth in my hand with a bit of jealousy. If only this cloth weren't in the way of his back and me...

 

"You've been wiping there for too long." He turns to look at me, while I simply raise my brows in response. I'm gonna wipe it all freakin' day.

 

After wiping Mark down, I tell him to go eat and take medicine. He duly obliges without any fuss. It's different from Bar, who always complains every time he's ill, so much so that none of our friends wants to get near him, and I end up sacrificing myself each time to help him, like I'm some member of a suicide squad. I let Mark lie down and rest more, setting the alarm for 4:30 pm as he wished. Actually, I don't want him to join the activities, but it's one of the main ones he can't afford to miss. He himself wants to go as well.

 

I go to mess around with Bar and the medical student after making sure that Mark is sound asleep. I plan to come tell them to be witnesses to my handing over of the gear cog to my junior line. They're together, of course, though I have no idea how they made up. 

 

My junior line and I see them in a groggy condition, their eyes swollen. I tease them with a few sentences, but am met with a simple one-sentence retort. Once you've done it with him, we're gonna tease the hell outta ya. Well, I've done it with him already, but it seems you guys haven't teased me yet.

 

The boom cheer activity is held on the beach. We all spread out in a big circle, taking up a large part of the beach. We form several nested circles to fit within the limited space. The yelling seniors, led by Pond, stand aloof while calmly watching over the juniors. I really wanna go over and stab his head with a knife. You can lose that aloofness, since your aura has disappeared since the day you took the juniors out for drinks. I want to scream out these words to him, but instead simply walk over and look at the juniors myself.

 

The first years look towards me and start gossiping. Many make a dreamy face, and I also hear the words "The former Prom King's single" now. I really wanna make him mine. I even hear chattering about the couple photo I uploaded the other day. I look at the person in that photo and smile at him a bit, though he just makes his usual calm expression. It may also be because he's not feeling well due to the fever. I walk along the side in his direction, till Fuses raise his brows to me, prompting me to flash him a cool smile. This dude's the one who's been my eyes and ears.

 

"What's the fuss all about? Why are you looking that way!? Even though this is an easygoing activity, I'm not going easy on you guys!" P'Pond shouts out.

 

"Why isn't he easygoing? I saw him grinning delightfully just this morning." I let out a laugh, prompting Pond to look in my direction after hearing Kamphan whispering to Fuse. The handsome Prom King of our faculty stealthily whacks his friend on the head before looking straight ahead.

 

"The next activity is boom cheering in order to receive the gear cogs from your senior lines as a form of symbolic acceptance. All of the first years, please come out one by one as the seniors call out your name."

 

After they order the juniors to make a boom cheer and report to their senior lines, by memorizing the real names and nicknames of everyone in their senior lines. The other freshmen look on as groups of their friends form a circle and yell out the boom cheer in the middle. About 30 steps away, their senior lines are holding gear cogs awaiting them. As each one passes by, Pond and Pin keep on messing with them, asking them to report twice, pretending that they got the seniors' names wrong, or even telling them to repeat themselves when they mispronounce some names.

 

"Next up, Student ID number xxxxxxxxxx." 

 

The ten-digits are announced twice. The tall kid whom I know well slowly gets up and walks to the middle of the circle. He nearly stumbles over his own leg and falls, though he yells the boom cheer loudly. Every time he moves his body up and down, I can't take my eyes off him. His oval eyes look at the gear cog while his raspy, deep voice pronounces each of his senior line members without any mistake.

 

"One more time! I can't hear ya!" I quickly turn my head to Pond, like what Mark does. But the kid can't say anything and lowers himself to make a boom cheer once again. He hasn't finished half the boom yet, when Pin interjects and orders him to start over again. Why are my friends harassing him? I look at Yeewa, who's looking at Mark with worry. She's not worried that he'll make a mistake, but that he might fall over right then and there.

 

His face becomes increasingly pale, so I can't bear looking at him anymore. I walk over to whisper to Pond, who's standing behind me, that Mark's not feeling well.

 

"The kid's sick, ya bastard." My friend makes a befuddled face and looks at me as if to ask whether it's the truth. I glare back at him sternly.

 

"Sorry about that. He's Nuea's boy, so I wanted to mess with him a bit." I want to lift my foot up and kick my friend and yell out loud that he's actually my boy.

 

Mark shouts out for the fourth time before slowly walking over to get his gear cog. The second-year student puts it over his neck, while Yeewa heads over to comfort him, and they walk out of the circle together. The other senior line named Nuea also walks over and lifts his hand to touch the lad's forehead. Mark smiles back and sits down with his friends as before. When he passes by me, the kid looks up before voicelessly murmuring Okay, " to which I respond back Great job.

 

The boom cheer activity continues until the last person in the line of Bar and Fuse, the faculty's current Prom King. The lad gets the rough treatment, as he is Bar's junior line. Pond has been upset with Bar since the afternoon, whereas Pin loathes that Fuse is so good-looking, so he gets in on the act. I can't help but join in on the fun as well, till Bar has to come out and protect his junior line.

 

There's no gear cog cause I'm married to a doctor!" Bar shouts desperately after being harassed by us for a long time. He scowls before reaching into Tossakan's collar to show off the gear cog hanging from the medical student's neck. Jeers ring out, making my friend blush abashedly, though his boyfriend doesn't.

 

"This engineering cog is with a doctor." Kan proclaims and holds onto the gear cog together with Bar. "This engineering faculty student also belongs to the doctor...is that clear?" The jeers ring out once more, till I can no longer stand it. I walk to Mark and gradually pull him out of the circle.

 

"Just wait till I reveal my status..." I say while heading back to the room.

 

"What status are you going to reveal?" Mark asks, so I stop at the foot of the stairs, prompting him to stop walking after me.

 

"Reveal about my wife, as he revealed about Kan," I say.

"Kan isn't P'Bar's wife." He replies.

 

"Or do you want to announce that you're my wife in the way Bar did...? I'd be fine with that also." I retort and flash a smile at him. The tall guy beside me opens his mouth ajar.

 

"Wh...why do I have to say something like that?" He asks stutteringly and continues walking, leaving me chuckling softly alone by myself.

 

At night, the seniors and juniors get together and form three large drinking circles. We enjoy chatting while eating, walking amongst the circles to talk to one another. A while ago, Pam, my junior line, was sitting beside me, but has since excused herself to sit with her friend at another circle. So beside me now sits Yeewa's junior line instead, the guy named Mark...the first year, whom I most want to be close to.

 

"Why does Mark always have to sit near Vee every time we're drinking?" Nuea's complaining voice makes me raise my brows at him and move even closer to Mark.

 

"So what?" I raise my brows to ask my friend, and place my arm over Mark's neck. The kid looks at me just like the others.

 

"Ya drunk?" The raspy voice of the one who seems tipsy asks me.

"Nah. You're the one who's drunk," I say, before taking his glass out of his hand.

 

"Just a bit more." He utters and flashes his bleary eyes towards me.

"Your eyes are about to close. And you're also sick today." I say. 

 

"Yeah..." He acknowledges simply from his throat, making me raise my brows out of suspicion.

 

"What's wrong?" Yeewa leans over to ask.

 

"Why's your junior line so obedient..." I ask my friend, though my eyes are still looking at the kid beside me.

 

"I don't want you to feel worried." The one who replies isn't Yeewa, but Mark. The answer makes Yeewa's mouth agape, and she reaches out her hand to pat my shoulder, making me flinch.

 

"You guys are going the distance. Why didn't you tell me before, Mark?" The sweet voice whispers out in a way that just the three of us can hear.

 

"You knew already, P'Yeewa." The boy says bashfully, before taking a bite at the piece of pork he just snapped up. I smile at him even though he doesn't see me, before reaching out to rub his hair as well. He looks up at me shyly before continuing to eat.

 

"Aren't you afraid that others will see...?" Mark asks softly, prompting me to look up at my friends. No one is paying attention to us, since they are all interested in the Bar-Kan couple. No one is looking in our direction except for my other close friend. The one who likes my Mark.

 

"What gorgeousness can captivate the husband!" I take my eyes away from Nuea, and raise up my phone before asking Bar. His comment just popped up. The entire circle jeers and whistles out loud, prompting Bar to point out that Tossakan was the one who posted it.

 

I continue teasing them till they become so bashful, and finally we request for their kissing, which they once said they'd do in front of us. Though the couple were reluctant at first, the medical faculty's Prom King eventually grabs hold of Bar and plants a kiss on him. They end up kissing so passionately that they might as well melt into one another right then and there.

 

The jeers follow once they withdraw themselves from each other. Bar becomes so embarrassed that he curls himself in his boyfriend's chest, though this does not stop the whistles.

 

"Who's the better kisser between Kan and I?" I ask the one beside me, as my friends rave about the medical Prom King's kissing motion.

 

"What kind of question is that? I've never kissed him before." Mark replies back. The corners of my mouth point upwards, indicating that I feel so good that I can't help but chuckle in my throat.

 

"Well, from what you've seen." I query on.

 

"You've gotta ask what kind of kissing I like." Mark suggests, though I shake my head and lean down close to his ear.

 

"Do you like my kissing...?" I whisper softly, before pulling away to wait for the answer.

 

"Don't be silly..." He replies simply, before turning his attention to the food, though this makes me smile delightfully. Yeewa taps on me to say Nuea is looking over here again though I'm not concerned. It's not that I'm not aware that he looking at us, nor do I not realize how much he likes Mark, but I simply choose not to pay any attention to him. So what if you like him a lot? Mark likes me, and I'm not going to be silly from now on...