Lately, It's Winter Season.

Chapter 30 - As a Man

"Are you serious? It's Cold."

"Why?" I asked back without understanding much. "Why do I like someone? It makes everyone so worried."

I let out a big sigh. I was talking to a woman named Lin. Lin is a member of the Faculty of Education. We met in a joint class. We worked together and started talking.

It's been almost two months now. I like her. She's cute, good-natured, and cheerful. She's always a counsellor. Since the first time my friends found out, no one has agreed. Field Mick said that she's not okay. North said that I don't really like her. Just excited to have someone.

I listen to them. But in the end, it ultimately depends on my own heart. The person who shows the most resistance is Tiger. He said honestly that I don't like this person. Can you stop talking? I don't have a reason. I just said that I don't like it. The more I see myself talking, the more dissatisfied he is. At that time, we had a voice, and it ended with Suea apologising.

I don't understand much. Lin is not the first person that Suea doesn't like. In the past, when someone came to Suea, he would always say that he didn't like it. I accept it every time because I think that if I have a girlfriend, I want to be the best friend.

But this time I didn't give it up because I like Lin. I tried to get the couple to meet, hoping that they could get along. Tiger would see his advantages, but Tiger showed more clearly resistance. There was a time when he got up and ran away when he realised that I had secretly made an appointment with him to sit together, which was very rude. At that time, Lin's face was broken.

That's why I understand that it's not because everyone who comes to me is someone they don't like. It's because they don't want me to have anyone. A cowardly person like Suea, who just has someone to talk to, is so heartless that I have to avoid him. If I have a boyfriend, it's not unusual for him to get angry.

I've tried to divide the time for both parties. Being with Suea too much, Lin is heartless. With Lin, regardless of how much or little, Suea is angry. That's why we had a voice last time. I asked what to do so that I wouldn't have anyone to worry about. He replied, 'Eh. '

That makes the quarrel even bigger. What we said to each other is quite disturbing. I want to have him, but Suea doesn't wish to have anyone. There is only this. It's a small quarrel that in the end, Tiger cried, apologised and disappeared from the room. Three days later, he came back without a word, even though I had tried.

I almost died without contact with him. I want to try to clear up that matter again, but Tiger won't talk anymore. He doesn't say anything, even about general issues. That's even more, creating an Eid atmosphere inside the room. I invite you to discuss and ask questions. Some nights, he didn't come back. He's been hiding for almost a week.

If it were before, I would have accepted it. But I'm starting to think about why I have to give in. Because I'm a sensitive person? The more we give in, the more stubborn Tiger becomes. So I gritted my teeth and tried not to give in, to avoid making it think of my heart. Otherwise, I wouldn't have had anyone for so long. That's life. When hundreds of thousands have approached me, I've never said one word.

"I feel sorry for Lin," North said. Currently, there are only the two of us at the coffee shop owned by his boyfriend. North invited me to play. However, I already know that there is something to discuss. "You don't seem to like her at all. Even now, you haven't replied to her chat."

"I'm talking to you. Is it rude to her?"

"Do you still have to have more manners for us?" North said in a bad way. Ready to hold the sweet water straw in the glass back and forth.

"La... How is Suea? He didn't go back to his room yesterday.

"You worry about Tiger more than Lin, do you realise?"

"Oh," I frowned and looked at it. "Lin, there's nothing to worry about. He's fine. Tiger is worrying."

"Hey", North wrinkled his nose.

"I want to continue, damn it." The sentence was quieter, but I still heard it. "Where I used to say that I won't give it up. I'll be stubborn. Why are you asking for it?"

"Are you worried? Can't you?"

"No," the other party said in a stiff voice. "If you're hard-hearted, don't care. It will be good. Up by yourself as you used to say."

"But it's better than it will understand me. It doesn't cry until the water runs out. First?" I pursed my mouth.

"You don't have to pay attention. You have someone to care more." North said that he was ready to put my mobile phone on the table this way. "'I replied, he'll be angry."

"Well," I have to answer Chatline first. I can't help it. I can't answer anything. North. It's useless. "Ah, I answered. Can you tell me how Tiger is? It probably didn't go to make fun of alcohol, irony about life and go to find other people in the bar again."

"I'm going to know. Besides, Tiger was looking for trouble at that time."

"Then make an appointment for me to come out and do it for you?"

"I don't want you to date him."

"Nia", I sighed, leaning back against the sofa, "Why the fuck, why does my love have so many obstacles? The obstacle is my friends. That's it."

"You're stupid. You may not realise that you don't like him. That I came to tell you because I feel sorry for him." North made a serious expression. "You're just excited about having someone new, and it's also adorable, like in high school. Six, remember? You are more interested in games than that person. But because you are any person, anyone who comes to talk to you."

"Wait," I raised my hand and said, "How do you know?"

"... Tiger said."

"Huh?" I frowned and didn't understand. "Did Tiger say that I was interested? More than a game"

"No, Suea said that your brother told you again."

"Dan Ana"

"If your brother's name is Dan, that's right." North nodded. "Try to discuss this. You can. He probably knows you best. Hey, call me. I'm with you so that I can tell him."

"But what time is it in Boston?" I looked at the clock. "It's five o'clock. Dan must be awake."

"Then call, call now."

"Sigh, uh, it's okay."

I dialled Dan. Not long after, the call ended with a happy smile in the brightly lit room. In front, books and notebooks are lined up. Guessing is not wrong. He had woken up and read a book.

"Dan, there is someone who wants to talk to you," I said, turning the camera to North, who immediately got up from the opposite seat and sat next to me. "This is North, a friend who told me."

(Oh) Dan smiled friendlily. (My name is Dan Nuea. I'm the brother of What's in the Cold month in North?)

"Well, Dan may know that Nao is talking to someone named Lin. But let me tell you in the corner of the friend who is looking outside." And North told the whole story to Dan. "What about Dan Nuea? Is this right? If not, we will apologise to Nao by letting him kick us twice."

(Hmm) Dan makes a thoughtful gesture (but talks to him rather than playing games. Right?)

"Aha", I nodded. "I'm more interested in him than the game: some days, but some days. If you want to play, ask him not to talk yet."

(To the point of agreeing to fight with Tiger?)

"Ah, I'm like that. I don't know what to do, Dan." I said. I know that I'm making a sad face at Dan right now.

(Month)

"Huh, what's up?"

(I seem to like this person)

"Is it?"

(What if we want to date?)

"It might be good... I don't know, I think the picture is not very clear, but I think it will come out well because he is a cute person," I replied.

(If it's the point of agreeing to quarrel with Tiger and also being stubborn, it means that you like this person.) Dan looks at North (but maybe it's just that North is excited, having never met anyone as cute, good-natured, and fated as this). Dan is not sure how much I like this person, whether I like them or am just excited. Wait a little longer.

(But in the meantime, there will be a fight with Tiger.)

"Dan doesn't think he will understand the month?" (Well, no, not at all. The person named Lin is quite sympathetic. Because Duan himself still doesn't know how much I like him. We shouldn't make any decisions with half-hearted feelings. People who are destined can be friends.) Dan said that the sound is smooth (Tell Dan what he's thinking)

"I want to try dating. I should be able to go. The only thing I'm addicted to is Suea."

I sighed, "I just want to try dating, is it wrong?"

(No, if you want to date, you have to be sure that you love him. This month, I'm unsure about everything. Let's talk slowly first. Don't rush. If you feel right, let's go on a date later.

"I understand," I nodded in understanding. "So what should I do with Suea Dee? He will be less every month to have someone all the time. He is single until he dies. So it's good."

(Well, I don't know. What does North think?)

"Us?" North made a thoughtful face.

"But we're still sure that the Cold guy doesn't like it," North argued.

Stubborn, Dan laughed softly.

(Let the month try it, the little one will learn by himself)

"What are you learning?" I'm confused.

"Okay, okay, so I won't talk about this anymore." North turned to tell me. "But you have to make sure that you really love him to date. Otherwise, he's pitiful."

"Eh", I promise.

"But there's no way, you animal." This time, North said in a low voice again before looking up at the mobile screen. "What about the north, Ger?"

(Yes)

"I don't know. If it's very wilful, you won't stop dating him. When it doesn't give up, you won't," North said. North's words made me heartbroken.

"Don't want to stop dating. What are you dating? My dear friend died.

"Well, he won't let you have a girlfriend. You have to choose."

"Isn't it the north?"

(It's North's right. When Tiger refuses, the month refuses. There are no Alternatives.)

"No," I still confirmed the exact words. "I'll talk to him again in a month. Sigh, I don't understand. Have you ever belittled your friend like this, North?"

"Well, no, if you are friends, there is no way."

"Well, you've never had a dead friend like me. That's why you never."

".. The buffalo scolded the buffalo but still felt sorry for the buffalo."

"What do you say?" I frowned. Just now, he whispered something to me

"Pla", it shrugged.

It was a late night when I couldn't sleep. After I went to school, I could hardly stand it because I was so stressed that I couldn't sleep. When I didn't rest, my body began to deteriorate. Tiger hasn't been in contact for more than a month. I can't see, can't hear, and I'm not getting any news. I'm sure a friend must know, but no one will tell me a word.

Why do you block each other? I just want to see you face-to-face. I just want to talk to you. It's good to know how it is. But this is quiet as if it's really about to disappear. Looking at the other side of the empty bed. Tiger is a big person. When sleeping together, it takes up space on the bed.

Additionally, he often attaches himself to the pillow and accidentally hugs me again. No matter how annoying it is. Now I miss both his warmth and his delicate fragrance.

There were many times that I accidentally called his name. Call to help pick up this item out of habit. But there was no reply as usual. The room we helped each other choose became a room that I didn't want to come back to. Everything is still the same. But the owner is no longer. At two o'clock in the morning, I was still lying around. Suddenly, I heard the sound of the doorknob being unscrewed. I immediately bounced up. The door gradually opened carefully. I stared with expectation, and my expectations came true.

... Tiger

When Suea walked into the room, he saw me waiting on the bed and made a face. I was very surprised; before I could turn around, I grabbed his arm.

"Wait! Tiger, Tiger, wait, don't go." I rushed down from the bed until I fell at the end of the bed. Tiger was shocked and rushed to help me get up. I held my arm tightly, afraid that it would disappear again. "Don't go, please stay and talk to me before you leave"

"... Why is your condition like this?" He frowned tightly. Sweeping his eyes over my whole body. "Didn't you eat anything? Dark eyes too? Study hard?"

"No, no, no," I shook my head. "No, I'm going to sit down, sit down," I said anxiously. Pushing the other person to sit down on the chair, Tiger. Sit down. The posture doesn't understand much.

"Or do you have a problem?"

"Say it's my technician," I repeated. Sweep your eyes around it.

"Wounds, wounds, this is a wound. Why are there only wounds? Have you seen a doctor?" I grabbed his arm and looked around. This is a knife cut. That's a bruise. I'm almost going to take off the shirt and take a look, but it's right. Stop it first.

"I'm fine, it's Cold, I'm fine, you stop crying first," Suea used to say. Two thumbs wipe the area under the eyes; the hair is light.

I... Can you cry for me?

"Huh, Ka, you're missing. Huh, why didn't you contact me?  Why don't you come back? Usually, no matter how hard you work, you'll come back. Plus, tell them to hide me, right? Huh, why? Why do you have to be so mean to me? Did I do something so wrong? Huh, ma, you once said you won't. Huh, don't leave me."

"Cold," Tiger immediately pulled me to hug me, tightening his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, stop crying, I'm wrong, it's Cold." Tiger hugged and comforted me for almost ten minutes. When I regained consciousness, he stopped crying and wiped my hands to wipe my tears. I don't understand why I have to cry. This flow almost doesn't stop. It could be due to the stress accumulated over the past month.

"Are you okay?"

"Ah, I'm," I nodded. "Can you tell me where you've been?"

"It's working."

"So why don't you follow me at all?"

"Urgent job", Tiger said, avoiding his eyes. I saw that he was lying.

"Are you so angry with me about Lin?" I asked in a low voice with regret. Tiger was silent and did not answer the question. "I don't understand why you want to be so much. You don't like anyone, so I'm willing to stop talking to them. But when it comes to the person I like, why don't you let me?"

Tiger still sat. The soft light of the moon that came through the window came in to see the half-crescent face of the other party. But painfully Deep with all my heart, "Are you dating him?"

"No," I shook my head. "I just stopped talking the other day. No, one week. I think it's done."

"Why don't you date? Because of me?"

"No," I shook my head again. "At first, I was going to try dating, but Dan told me to go slowly. When we talked for a long time, I felt that it was not." To be honest, it didn't feel true. Even though Lin was a person who, at first, thought that it was destined, it may be more like a friend; now we still talk as friends.

"That's good," Tiger just replied before getting up and opening the closet door.

"What are you doing?"

"Packing up"

"Where are you going?"

"Find my brother"

"For a long time?"

"I don't know"

"Will you come back?"

"... I don't know"

"Why?" I immediately asked, "You don't like Lin. I didn't talk to him. So what? What are you still angry with me?"

"I'm not angry, but Cold, I... I'm just tired."

"What are you tired of?"

"Are you going to get married?"

"Why do you ask?" I don't understand why you suddenly ask something like this. "Answer first"

"Ta, I've told you that having a family is my dream."

"A family with a father, mother, and child, right?"

"Why?" I repeated in confusion. "What does it have to do with what we are talking about now?"

Tiger didn't answer anything, just sighed a little, packed up the clothes in the cabinet, and put them in the bag.

"Tiger, answer me." I stepped closer and shook him gently. "Ah, because I'm going to marry, you don't like it, do you? Why are you like this?"

"What"

"I know why, no matter who comes to me, you don't like them at all because you're addicted to me. You don't care that I don't have time to give or care about anything else." I said, noticing that the other person showed no expression. "Like when I was in high school and chatting to someone, you started to avoid me, and you told yourself that you were not kind. Then I tried to talk to that sister less."

"Then I always let you go. No matter who it is, I stop talking to you just because of the words you say I don't like!" I accidentally snorted out a suppressed voice.

"No matter who, just start talking for a week, and I can stop talking. When I don't, you fight sometimes. You avoid me. Why did you do this?"

"Don't you think you're a little selfish? Huh," I said and started crying. "You won't let me date anyone. Don't let me get married. How is it possible? It's a normal matter in a person's life. What are you going to do with this? We never really quarrel about anything else."

"What's wrong with me?" Suea asked back. His voice was smooth but sounded. It's like I'm trying to be patient. "You stop dating me."

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"Stop dating. Are you so easy to say? We've been friends for six years. We've always been together." I said and cried harder and harder.

"I don't understand. I don't understand you, Tiger. Huh."

"You are the person I trust the most in my life. I plan to get married one day. There must be you as the groom's friend. At your wedding, I will be the groom's friend. Our children will be friends. I hope we can be together forever!!"

"It won't be like that!" Tiger said loudly. Tears began to flow. He clenched his hands tightly. "It won't be like that. Huh, if you dream of your life like that, you won't have me anymore."

... Tiger's words made me let go of him. My heart was squeezed like my chest hurts. I want to say something, but I'm at a loss for words.

"Six years, right?" The other party asked with tears. "Six years that we have been friends. It's not true. It's Cold. You've never been my friend."

"... Huh huh"

"I liked you before I even considered you as a friend."

"Since M. Four until now, the third year is Cold. It's been six years. And it's been a long time since I secretly liked someone on the other side. I'm hurt every time I see you talking to someone. Jealous of you even though I don't have the right. I'm delirious about you alone like a crazy person, and in your eyes. I'm just a friend. I may be selfish, yes, but I can't stand to see you fall in love with someone else. This disappearance has been on my mind for a long time. I've decided that if I have to endure seeing you love someone else, I'd better disappear."

I stood still without answering anything. What I heard was something I never thought I would listen to before. I was shocked and didn't understand at the same time. I felt that my whole body, including my heart, was numb.

Tiger likes me... Really?

"Will you?"

"Well, I've thought about it. Even if I tell you directly, you probably won't believe it. Let me wait for you to feel yourself, I'll never." Tiger leaned back slightly, leaning against the wall, looking tired both physically and mentally. "Sorry for making you cry."

"I'm sorry to make you feel bad. If I hadn't seen an incident like this, I wouldn't dare confess my love either. Otherwise, I wouldn't have kept it for six years. Of course."

"Sa Suea Ku", I called his name even though I didn't know what to say. Even if I didn't believe it, I had to accept it. "What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?" Suea bit his lip with a hesitant look. But finally spoke out.

"Can you open your heart to me?"

"...Buh, like a boyfriend?"

"Yes"

"Why do you like me? I think we've always been friends." I'm telling the truth. Are Suea and I boyfriends? I can't think of a picture. "There are so many people approaching you, but why choose me? I don't have anything suitable for you. Don't you like others better?"

"I've loved you for six years. You don't have to comment. All of them!"

"If it weren't my husband, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with you! I'll give you a week to make a good decision. Don't think that because you feel sorry or can't be without me. You have to choose to open your heart because that's so mean to me."

"Can you think about it?" The other person's tone began to change.

It's a plea that softens my heart. "Not a close friend, but please look at me as a man who loves you."