I Feel You Linger In The Air

Chapter 29 - Deceive

Han Lueang's words confirm to me that this is not a simple matter. They are soldiers, not mere people from the city. Even their steeds are armed as warhorses. Besides, the said King Kham is the ruler of Chiang Mai. Since Seehasingkorn has been taken by Chiang Mai, these soldiers have every right to carry out what their king commands for the Seehasingkornian people.

My heart pounds, my hands freezing in fear. Despite the hostile manner, Han Lueang isn't impetuous, unlike Han Kaew, who seems ready to charge in like an unnegotiable feral dog.

"What is the king's command? Do enlighten us, Han Lueang. Your words are rather offensive, as though we have committed a crime and so need to be dealt with by force. This is considered an insult to Her Royal Highness," Commander Yai replies bluntly. 

"You are delivering the command with words and have brought only a dozen soldiers. How unlikely for the messenger of the king's command. How am I supposed to believe you?"

"How arrogant, Commander Yai." Han Lueang's face darkens with rage. "I did not receive the command directly from His Majesty. I accompanied Chief Fahkum, the messenger of the king's command, but our groups split to travel on separate routes. Regardless, we share our purpose."

"If so, please bring San Fahkum, the messenger of the king's command, and I will believe you."

"How dare you, Commander Yai!" Han Kaew roars beside Han Lueang. "Han Lueang, wait no more. We shall not waste time with these untrustworthy scoundrels. That woman is nothing but a hostage from Seehasingkorn. We only need to bring her back to Chiang Mai."

"Moron!" Commander In bellows. He flanks Commander Yai in a fury. "I will not tolerate a single offence towards Her Royal Highness!"

With that, Han Kaew, who has been waiting for this moment, gallops forward with his spear towards Commander In, Commander In blocks the attack and fights back with his spear. The rest of King Kham's soldiers march up on their horses. Both sides clash, battling each other with weapons in hand.

My eyes widen in a panic. Everything happens so fast and all of a sudden. The female servants' fearful shrieks resound amid the clang of colliding weapons. Each runs away from the ring of the battle. I hide behind a luggage cart, my heart pounding, nearly jumping out of my chest. Even if we outnumber them, most of our soldiers are infantrymen. The cavalry sure has the upper hand.

The battle is horrifying. Commander Yai fights against Han Lueang, but Commander Yai's combat skills are obviously superior to his. Han Lueang's spear is knocked out of his grip, and two of King Kham's soldiers canter in.

Commander Yai is now surrounded by the two cavalry officers, with Han Leang returning to battle. Frightened, I search for Commander In and spot him wielding his spear in the middle of those men. It is evident that they aim to defeat Commander In and Commander Yai, the leaders, so that the soldiers will falter and surrender.

Amid the stressful situation, I notice Han Kaew tugs the reins to steer his horse away from the battle and heads over here. I calculate his action in alarm...Undoubtedly, he is making his way past the line of carts in the direction of Princess Amphan's tent!

A servant grabs a sword and darts out to block the way. He gets slashed by the blade of Han Kaew's spear and collapses onto the ground. Han Kaew speeds on and will presumably ride past me to the tents' area. I decide in a second and snatch a spear from the cart. I know I possess no combat skills, and I don't think obstructing the experienced soldiers will stop him.

Han Kaew is approaching and will soar past me in a few seconds. move out and plant my feet on the ground, then I muster my strength on my shoulder and throw the spear with all my might.

THUD!

The spear grazes the horse's neck and tumbles to the ground. The blow isn't accurate enough to hit the steed or Han Kaew, but it makes the animal lose balance. 

The horse neighs and rears before flicking its head towards me. I step backwards in terror, trip on a rock, and fall on my butt. Han Kaew turns to me, his long, snaky eyes extremely menacing. My heart plummets as he raises his spear.

SWISH!

A spear pierces through Han Kaew's chest, right through his heart. The figure on the steed goes rigid. Once the spear is yanked out, crimson blood spurts from the hole in Han Kaew's chest, splattering across the grass and on my face in red dots.

Commander In appears before me on his horse, gripping the spear covered in Han Kaew's blood.

Han Kaew falls off his horse and lies flat on the ground a few inches away from me. One of his hands grasps my ankle. Trembling, I watch his twitching body. Kaew's eyes bulge as blood gushes out of his wound like a fountainhead. Seconds later, his body goes still.

Someone shouts Han Kaew's name in the northern dialect, which ceases the battle. Han Lueang turns away from the fight and canters towards us. I remove Han Kaew's hand from my ankle and scoot backward Han Lueang dismounts his horse and cradles Han Kaew's dead body. Everything falls into silence.

Han Lueang clenches his jaw and fumes in infuriation. "Commander Yai, you have gone too far. You took the princess away, refused to return her, and killed Han Kaew, the high-level soldier, not a mere infantryman. This is proof of Seehasingkorn's defiance, a rebellious action against Chiang Mai."

"You're mistaken, Han Lueang," Commander Yai argues. "We hold no ill will towards you or are rebellious against Chiang Mai. We only defended ourselves from your attack. Furthermore, I'm simply escorting Her Royal Highness back to Seehasingkorn as His Majesty King Kham has commanded, seeing as Her Royal Highness suffered a sickness."

"That's a lie, Commander." Han Lueang glares at Commander Yai. "His Majesty has never permitted Princess Amphan to go beyond the walls of Chiang Mai. Since the two princesses submitted themselves to His Majesty as an act of loyalty, how could Her Royal Highness leave without permission?"

Commander Yai is astounded. Han Lueang resumes. "I have sent someone to inform San Fahkum and His Majesty. Be prepared, Commander. Tomorrow, I will return with San Fahkum, the messenger of the king's command. If you don't wish to die here, bring the princess and the person who killed Han Kaew to us. The investigation and punishment shall be discussed once we are in Chiang Mai."

"If Commander Yai insists on taking Her Royal Highness away," Han Lueang's lips twist into a hostile smile, "in a few days, the lives of your people and your city will be obliterated. We will not spare even young children and infants. The only thing left will be the name of Seehasingkorn to be remembered in the future as the fallen city."

Han Lueang and the rest of King Kham's soldiers gallop away on their horses with Han Kaew's dead body, kicking up dust behind them. Commander Yai and Commander In stand still for a moment, then Commander Yai slowly turns around. His gaze on Commander In sends chills all over my skin. His voice is deep and low.

"In, were you not the person who received the king's command the day I escorted Her Royal Highness Princess Duean Klum to the Lee Chiang Phra Temple?"

What happens after this is beyond my imagination. Commander In admits that he set up the situation to deceive Commander Yai. On the day Commander Yai accompanied Princess Duean Klum, Princess Amphan's sister, to the Lee Chiang Phra Temple, Commander In lied that King Kham sent his messenger to his residence to deliver the command. He forged the order to bring Princess Amphan back to Seehasingkor.

The truth puts everyone in awe. I have never seen Commander Yai in this emotion before. He clenches his jaw with a stressed expression, but his eyes hurt.

"In, which spirit possessed you to do such a thing? You are aware that we need to prepare our army, along with elephants and horses, and train our soldiers. Once we have harvested our crops after the rainy season, Seehasingkorn will declare independence in the twelfth month. Couldn't you wait for a year? Why did you ruin our big plan with your reckless scheme?"

"I couldn't wait, for I hid something from you."

"What is it?"

"Her Royal Highness is pregnant."

Commander In's words stun everyone, including me. The royal physician is called for to clarify the situation right away. The royal physician admits that what Commander In has revealed is the truth. Princess Amphan's fatigue and nausea are symptoms of the pregnancy. The princess ordered the royal physician to keep it secret. The other person who knows of this is her close royal attendant.

"Why did Her Royal Highness want you to hide it?" asks Commander Yai. The royal physician hesitates. Commander Yai continues in a cold voice, "Things have gone this far, and yet you insist on keeping a secret from me?"

Finally, the royal physician confesses, "I had to conceal it as His Majesty King Kham never once requested Her Royal Highness's presence in private. It would be impossible for Her Royal Highness to become pregnant from His Majesty."

The royal physician's words are like a lightning bolt striking us. Commander Yai is flabbergasted. He turns to Commander In and stares at him as if he has never known this man before. I think Commander Yai has figured out who impregnated the princess.

"Ai-In!" He yells.

Commander In drops his gaze in admission. Clenching his fists, he says, "Since everything has been revealed, what do you suggest we do, brother?"

"How dare you! You committed an impertinent action with no respect!

"If you have to castigate or kill me, I will not fight back. But can you stop love? Once it takes hold of someone, it is no different from the inextinguishable flame that will burn the person down. I am guilty, so I will accept my punishment."

"You're claiming that it's love." Commander Yai points at his face, seething with anger. 

"But is it right to put our city in danger? You don't care about yourself, but what about our people?! Did it ever cross your mind that they would be doomed by your action?!"

Commander In presses his lips together tightly, admitting guilt in silence. Commander Yai barks an order.

"Captain Mun, shackle him and lock him up!"

Captain Mun scurries towards Commander In as told and puts his hands behind his back. The manacles are brought to shackle Commander In's wrists and ankles.

"Stop, Commander Yai!" A voice resounds, drawing everyone's attention. Princess Amphan steps into the open space. Everyone kneels on the ground.

"Are you going to chain Commander In and lock him up like an animal?"

"Commander In has committed a crime and is to receive the capital punishment, Your Royal Highness."

"Release him."

"I can't, Your Royal Highness. Please forgive me."

"How dare you disobey me, Commander Yai!"

Commander Yai remains silent, his manner unyielding. Princess Amphan clenches her fists, fixing her gaze on Commander Yai. Her voice cracks a little.

"Commander Yai, instead of taking me back to Seehasingkorn, you're going to send me back to Chiang Mai despite my pregnancy, aren't you?"

"I can't act against the king's command, Your Royal Highness."

Princess Amphan is stunned, her body shaking. "What a loyal soldier. My brother must not be disappointed to have assigned such an important task to you."

Princess Amphan raises her chin, her eyes resolute.

"If Commander Yai believes I am guilty of this sin and deserve to perish, then kill my child and me right here. Fear no sentence of treason. I have committed an immoral crime, an unacceptable action of someone born under the royal nine-tiered umbrella, so I am no different from a mere slave, not a princess. I'd rather be killed by you than by the hand of our enemy."

"I have no power to go beyond the call of my duty. I have received the command from His Royal Highness Prince Seeharaj to send the two princesses to Chiang Mai to be submitted to His Majesty King Kham, and I shall follow through with it.  Royal attendants, escort Her Royal Highness back to the tent. Whoever disobeys my order, your action will be deemed as a rebellion against His Royal Highness, for you have defied the prince's command."

Princess Amphan stands in silence, tears trickling down her face without a sob. The female royal attendants all cry as they escort the princess back to her shelter.

Commander In lunges forward and bows on Commander Yai's feet, begging.

"Brother, please have mercy. Send me to King Kham to be executed. I fear no death. But please don't bring Her Royal Highness to King Kham."

Commander Yai shakes his head. "I can't defy the king's command."

His unbending rejection makes Commander In lift his gaze. He stares at Commander Yai, speechless, his sorrowful eyes turning incensed with tears.

"Yai! Are you going to send my lover and child to death?!"

"Shut it, Ai-In!" Commander Yai roars. "You're a soldier, yet your action is as low as that of a slave. You'll be rotting in hell, have you no clue?! You shouldn't reach for the forbidden flower. Your decision will bring a disaster upon us all. I will not let your thoughtless action ruin our big plan!"

"Yai, my brother," Commander In sobs. "Have you no heart like others? Is it a rock in your chest that twists your mind? If you have no affection or kindness to me, my love for you shall cease. We are no longer brothers from this moment on. In all lifetimes, we shall never be reborn as brothers again!"

Commander Yai clenches his jaw. He snatches the manacles to chain Commander In. Commander In struggles to free himself but loses to Commander Yai's strength. He shackles Commander In and drags him to the cart containing caged large animals like goats and pigs, the food supply of our journey. He shoves Commander In inside and bolts the door, his face clouded, his eyes full of pain throughout everything.

"Ai-Yai!" Commander In shouts furiously, tears flooding down his face. "You heartless bastard, I curse you to never succeed in love like others. If you ever give your heart to someone, I hope you are forced to be apart. You will fall into misery and pain in this life and the next!"

Commander Yai walks off. He doesn't look back despite Commander In's continuous cursing. I stand there in awe. What is happening before me sends the coldness into my chest, and something strikes my mind. I am not imagining things. We believe a person was someone in another lifetime, partly because of the belief in reincarnation that has been passed down for generations. 

Now I know that is not all there is. It is not only the appearance, identity, or physique. There is something intangible as well. The abstract aspect. Something we can perceive with feelings. It is the nature of the individual, embedded in every molecule of a person, never changing, no matter the lifetime.

Khun-Yai...No matter if he is the gentle Khun-Yai or the formidable Commander Yai, he is righteous and dutiful by nature. I know how much Khun-Yai in B.E. 2471 loved me. He didn't want to study in England and leave me waiting, yet he knew it was his duty, and we both needed to be patient. 

Commander Yai chained his brother with his own hands. He loved Commander In and was devastated to do that. However, it had to be done for the sake of his city. But Ohm...No matter if he is Commander In or Ai-Kumsan, something that never changes in every lifetime is the extreme honesty to his desires to the point of selfishness. He stubbornly tried to maintain his relationship with Fongkaew despite knowing it would get her in big trouble. In my era, he chose Kaimook and ended our four-year relationship with no hesitation. Ohm is still Ohm. He cares about his own feelings more than anyone else's.

I step back from the scene and flop on a rock farther away from the carts. In 24 hours, King Kham's soldiers will return. The atmosphere is enveloped in despair. Each of us hardly speaks. Words are uttered only on duty.

Commander Yai divides us into two groups. One will follow Princess Amphan to Chiang Mai under San Fahkum's responsibility. Commander Yai orders some skilled soldiers to disguise themselves as a group of servants. The other group will head back to Seehasingkorn.

I sit there quietly for hours amid this helpless situation. The sun slowly sinks, signalling that the light will be gone in a few hours and replaced by darkness. I ask Captain Mun a question when he settles on the ground beside me.

"Will Commander In receive a death penalty?"

"Is there any other choice?" he replies bitterly. "They won't let him live to be a bad example to others."

I nod, thinking of what Commander Yai has stated about how Prince Seeharaj, the ruler of Seehasingkorn, will declare independence from the annexation of Chiang Mai. They will spend the next eight to nine months preparing their army and weapons to optimal condition, in case they need to battle Chiang Mai again.

I look around in a daze. These people are my friends, a group fate brought together to form bonds with me at a certain time. I am angry that I am unable to help them any further. Plus, I have so little knowledge of history. I know Chiang Mai was annexed by Myanmar and the Ayutthaya Kingdom numerous times in the past, but it was also independent at times, as it is now.

Nevertheless, I have no idea how long King Kham's reign lasted. Presently, is it the prime time of Chiang Mai, or is it weakening and soon to be annexed by another kingdom? How possible can it be for Seehasingkorn to stand a chance in the fight against King Kham right now? I barely have the answers to these questions. All I can do at present is stall for time as Commander Yai has planned. Perhaps King Kham's reign will be over soon, and Chiang Mai will be annexed by the Ayutthaya Kingdom or Myanmar again. Seehasingkorn will simply be a city on the travelling route with a border with Tak, establishing cordial relationships with the neighbouring cities and remaining unaligned with any kingdom. That is what I hope.

Having made up my mind, I mustered all my courage to stand up and step into the open space.

"Everyone, please listen."

My voice is resounding. Everyone turns their eyes to me, including Commander Yai and the royal physician. Commander Yai frowns. He must be clueless about what I am going to do. I divert my gaze from him, focusing on what I am about to say.

"I know all of you are facing a difficult situation, and it is beyond one's capability to solve everything. However, I have an offer. It might not turn the tables, but it will help you get through this for the time being."

I keep my head up, staring straight, though my hands tremble. I hope no one notices. Why should they send Commander In to his death? They will lose another great warrior with the skills of a commander of an army of Seehasingkorn, and Commander Yai will suffer for the rest of his life from the guilt of handing his brother over to the enemy. If I sacrifice myself, letting Commander Yai take Commander In back to receive his punishment from Prince Seeharaj, His Royal Highness may postpone the penalty and have Commander In fight for their homeland. If lucky, the death sentence may be reduced to something less severe. If he dies in combat, that is one fate of a warrior. I am not doing this for Commander In. I am doing this for Commander Yai.

I take a deep breath and say, "I had a part in making Commander In kill His Majesty King Kham's soldier. Send me to them instead of Commander In."

A surprised clamour reverberates from all directions. I avoid eye contact with Commander Yai, my fists clenching at my sides. I try to control them not to shake.

I have no clue when it happened. Perhaps a few days ago or longer. I have been fixated on living through the situations at hand, through misery, sadness, and happiness from love, all the while never noticing the most significant change. I continue speaking, trying to keep my voice steady.

"You once believed I was a bizarre being sent by the deity and could be of some use to your city, as the royal physician remarked. The assumption was correct. Please don't hesitate to hand me over instead of Commander In. I will be okay."

I point my quivering finger to the ground, suppressing the wave of emotions stirred by the thought that I don't have much time left.

"See for yourself. If I were a human such as you, in the sunlight at this time, my shadow would be as vivid as yours, not faint as though it would fade away soon this way."