I Feel You Linger In The Air

Chapter 28 - If We Can Be Together

"Jom...Poh-Jomkwan, wake up."

The touch on my cheek makes me flutter my eyes open. Under the shady trees, on the veranda encircling the teak house built in the Seventh Reign, as the leaves are

swayed in the breeze, my head is resting on someone's lap. The face hovering over mine wears a pleased smile.

"Did you have a sweet dream? What was it about? Was I there?"

His dark, jetty eyes are playful. I stare at them in enchantment. Khun-Yai is right here in front of me, clothed in a white hemp shirt and satin trousers. His usual attire. The faint green stubble lines his sharp jaw.

I hold out my hand, touch his face, and gently run my fingers along his facial structure, afraid he will disappear. The fragrance of Lantoms wafts in the wind.

And I am awake. The nearly identical face appears above me. Despite the slight differences in the details and skin tone, the way he looks at me is exactly the same.

Commander Yai is looking down at me, a twig of Lantoms in his hand, brushing the flowers on my cheek to my nose. "What did you dream about? Was I there?" I blink. As I realise I am in Commander Yai's tent, I throw my arms around him in alarm. Commander Yai seems surprised. He mumbles a curious sound but still strokes my back.

"I miss you."

"I'm right here."

"I still miss you."

Commander Yai chuckles. "How endearing. Are you afraid I won't fall head over heels for you?"

I eye the dim light showering the outer side of the tent, hearing the distant crowing of roosters. The light has grown outside. I move my body. "It's morning. I'll be off."

"Stay and have a meal with me. The cook will serve it shortly."

"No." I shake my head. "I'm not a commander or a high-ranking authority. It's inappropriate to behave like their boss. I'll eat with Captain Mun and the soldiers."

"How lovely of you to be so humble."

Lovely, huh..? Is that why he loved me for almost half the night and explored every inch of my body?

"Can you get up and walk?" Commander Yai touches my elbow.

I side-eye him. He speaks in such a gentle voice, but he didn't hold back at all last night. "I won't wobble and groan while massaging my hips in front of the others to humiliate myself. Don't worry."

I yank my arm back and huff, but Commander Yai just smiles. The dawning air is cool. The sunlight will grow stronger later in the morning, like the other days, I suppose. I sneak to the area where the line of carts is to bathe. Fortunately, everyone is too busy with their routines to pay attention to me in the morning, and no one usually washes up during this time of day. I have to, though. I need to scrub off what Commander Yai has left on my body.

Once the sun has risen to the treetops, I join the meal circle of the soldiers and Captain Mun. Each of them is remarkably energetic today, since we will spend another night here, which means more time to stroll about the village.

"Who won last night? You or Commander Yai?" Captain Mun asks as we eat. I almost choke and quickly hide it by drinking from the bamboo tube. I answer in a mumble, 

"We took turns winning and losing, Captain Mun. In total um, it was a tie."

"If none of you has won squarely, I think Commander Yai will demand another rematch tonight, Jom."

I paste on a sheepish smile, not sure what kind of rematch it is going to be. Luckily, the topic has changed.

They agree to ride horses to the village after finishing breakfast. Captain Mun points his finger at the soldier named Kab. Last time, he flirted with a woman at Baan Thung Hin and almost broke into a fight with the male villagers. "Don't cause trouble this time. Make sure the woman you'll flirt with isn't married."

"I did make sure last time. Well, I won't cause trouble again. I'll just find liquor. I won't bat an eye at any ladies." Kab rubs Captain Mun's arm flatteringly.

"Ptui!" Captain Mun spits, but Kab raises his plate just in time. "Spew that nonsense to a dog. A flirt like you can never restrain yourself. Don't cause me trouble again. This time, I'll leave you beaten into a pulp at the village."

"Ai-Jom, will you come with us?" Captain Mun asks me. I shake my head. "Go without me. I'll stay here. I'm tired. I might take a nap in the afternoon."

After Captain Mun and his gang have ridden down the slope to the village, I hang around the servants' carts. I watch them cut the bamboo sticks into smaller pieces and help them with trivial tasks. The sunlight glares a while later, and I am drenched in sweat. I would continue working if it were the other day, but my battle with Commander Yai last night has sapped my strength for quite a bit.

I decide to rest on the nearby grassy knoll. It looks serene, perfect for a nap. After a few steps, I bump into Commander In.

"Commander In," I greet.

"Oh. Jom, aren't you going to the village with the soldiers?"

Commander In offers me a small smile. Why do I feel like his smile is not as bright as usual? His eyes are cloudier than before. Does he have a hangover because he drank too much last night...? Oh, right, you are bound to be worried when your loved one falls sick. And you will be even more troubled if the relationship is a secret. All you can do is look from afar in worry. You can't even take care of them by their side.

I shake my head. "I'll rest under the tree over there for a while, but I'll probably pick some wild fruits with the cooks later."

"Bring a knife with you. When the snake crawled by the path last time, you jumped away in fear."

I laugh. We always stumbled upon snakes or wild animals along the journey. The soldiers and the servants could take care of them with little difficulty. On the contrary, I ran away.

"Um… I’ll bring a knife and a wooden stick. Thank you, Commander In."

Commander In slightly nods and plods away. My eyes trail after his back. I feel a bit worried, but I don't know how to help him. His problem is too dangerous for me to be involved in or help with.

"Quite a longing gaze you have for In. Aren't you afraid someone will notice?"

Commander Yai's voice from behind startles me. I spin around and see him on his horse with a sullen face.

"How was that a longing gaze, Commander Yai? That's how I usually look at him. Everyone knows how kind Commander In is. What are you going to accuse me of this time?"

Commander Yai watches Commander In trudge a distance away. He mumbles, "In, my brother, is such a charming man."

"Yes?"

"You don't stand a chance, Jom. All women in Seehasingkorn have their eye on In, but he gives his heart to none."

I sneak a laugh. Is he thinking I will be charmed by Commander In? I once was, indeed, but those feelings have burned without so much as a spark left. "I don't need a chance. I don't want Commander In."

"Don't look at him, then."

"Oh..Commander Yai, if we don't look at each other, are we supposed to talk with our eyes closed? Are you jealous or what?"

I have said that without thinking much, but Commander Yai is taken aback. He is reluctant, like he wants to argue but can't. His ears redden a little. I look at him in wonderment.

Good grief..a person with skin as rough as buffalo skin in the sun is blushing.

"That mouth of yours is rather careless with words. I should give you a beating as a lesson."

Had it been before, I would have been terrified. Before, I was scared even when he walked by, let alone the threats. Now I know Commander Yai is strict and fierce when on duty. When he is with me, however, he shows the side he only reveals to the people particularly close to him. He becomes the cute tiger version of himself, touching me here and there, melting me with his sweet words, and I let him devour me with pleasure.

Since I don't argue, he drops the topic. Commander Yai holds out his hand. "Get on the horse with me."

"Where are we going?"

"Just get on as I say."

Commander Yai pulls me up on the horse, and we gallop past the knoll into the woods. We edge through the groves of trees uphill until we reach the overhanging rock sheltered in outstretched branches. From this point, we can see all around our camp.

I have realised why, wherever we made camp, Commander Yai would often disappear. He was patrolling from afar, the way he is doing now. Even if there is a breeze, drops of sweat still trickle down from behind my ear to my neck. Commander Yai brushes them off with his knuckles. "Are you hot?"

"I helped the servants cut the bamboo sticks, so I've been sweating. I'll feel better after resting somewhere here."

"Why would you endure it? I'll cool you down."

"How?" I turn to him. Don't tell me he is going to fan me.

Commander Yai doesn't answer. He steers the horse the other way. Shortly after, we are soaking in the cool stream. The water is at chest level and crystal clear. I wrap my arms around Commander Yai from behind and kiss his shoulder. His skin is light brown in the sunlight and beautified with firm muscles, completely contrasting with my skin.

He turns to kiss me, and I laugh, tickled. The stubble he hasn't shaved for at least three days is now stiff, and it scratches my cheek and neck.

"You threatened to whip me earlier, but now you keep kissing me." I purse my lips in puckish annoyance. Commander Yai turns his body to me. "You think I would have it in me to whip you? A whip on your skin would be a pang in my heart."

Commander Yai holds my waist and kisses my cheek hard. I smile and run my fingers along his jaw. "Your beard has gotten long. Do you want me to shave them?"

"Don't you like it?"

I pause to think before replying, "I do. I like you even with smooth skin or a beard. There is nothing about you I don't like."

Commander Yai's eyes gleam. "Jom-Jao, you're such a sweet talker. I shall reward you."

His loose embrace around my waist tightens. I fix my eyes on his handsome face covered in clear droplets. His smile and gaze are so loving. When he moves his lips closer, close my eyes. The sensational kiss leads us to something more intense. I lock my legs around his body under the water as his big hands clasp my hips.

Commander Yai carries me to the shallow water. His kiss on my skin burns like fire, making me lose control of my emotions. A moan slips out of my mouth when he enters me. I dig my nails into his broad back and scratch them in long lines as he trespasses inside relentlessly. Drops of water on my toes dribble down to the surface of the stream at his thighs' level. My body shivers in this sensual sensation he has ignited.

Commander Yai moves his waist faster, and my body bobs in time with his thrust. I call his name repeatedly until stars disperse behind my eyelids. My body clenches as he shoots out his load, then I prop my face on his shoulder in satisfaction.

We return to the overhanging rock. I lay my head on Commander Yai's lap under the shade of trees, gazing at the distant view of groves of trees lining down over the foothills, my hand holding onto Commander Yai's. I feel so happy that it terrifies me. I pull his hand to my lips.

"Commander Yai, we'll be together, right?"

"Jom-Jao, why are you asking such a thing? We have given each other our love. Who would we be with if not together?" He twines a lock of hair on my temple with his finger. 

"Once we're back home, I'll bring you in. We have farmlands tended by a few servants. We can take care of them together when you live with me."

I press my lips together in contemplation and ask in worry, "Who will I be at your place? Do people in your city accept two men living together as lovers?" Commander Yai laughs softly, "Who would be happy to see their son having a male partner? No one, Jom. They would be humiliated."

"Oh, will your parents allow me to live there, then?"

"My father passed away ages ago. There is only my mother, who raised me, In, and my sister. You can live there as my companion. As time goes by, my mother will eventually understand that you're my lover."

"Is your mother scary?" I get up and look at him anxiously.

"My mother? She's rather a quiet woman, not fond of nagging like the elders in other houses. She's reserved and well-mannered and never once talked back to my father. She loves me dearly. Win over her heart with your virtue, the way you won over mine."

I nod, though still worried. How is my life going to be from now on? What will I have to deal with? "What about other people? What will they think?"

"We live together as lovers in my place. We don't need to announce it to everyone in the city just to be gossiped about. If someone offends you, do calm down and pay it no mind. My family and I love you, that's enough. No one else matters."

"Won't you be humiliated if someone asks or mocks you?"

"I'll cut their tongues off."

I laugh. "You told me to calm down."

"I'm only submitted to you, Jom. If someone else offends me, I'll draw their blood out."

"Have you really submitted to me?"

"Entirely."

"Liar." Seeing him frown in confusion at what I have said, I change my word, "You're just saying that. You don't mean it, do you?"

"Oh..Now you're putting me in the wrong. Come here. I'll tell you." Commander Yai pulls me into his embrace.

"How about this? In all lifetimes, I will always be second to you. If I am reborn as the moon, you will be reborn as Rahu swallowing me whole. If you are reborn as a chicken or a duck, I will be reborn as a rice grain for you to peck at. If I am reborn as a foot mat, you will be reborn as..."

"Commander Yai! I don't want to be reborn as a foot!" I laugh and push him away, but he grabs my wrists tightly.

The way he looks past my shoulder with a suddenly darkened expression makes me turn around. Below the overhanging rock, I spot a dozen men on their horses galloping towards our camp. Commander Yai springs up and says, "Mount the horse."

A moment later, Commander Yai and I sped downhill to the camp. He helps me dismount the horse while ordering Commander In and the soldiers to be prepared. My heart drums when the cavalry and swordsmen are ready in formation. On their horses, Commander Yai and Commander In wait in imposing manners. Commander Yai's dual swords crisscross on his back.

Soon, those mighty men appear in the distance. They gallop on and stop before us. peek at them behind the line of carts and count twelve of them, all dressed in a uniform. The two men at the front look like the leaders of the others. One of them starts.

"Commander Yai, Commander In, the great soldiers of Seehasingkorn," he greets with a smile that seems friendly, but I know they aren't here with a good intention. "Lam Han Lueang. This is Han Kaew. We are the soldiers of His Majesty King Kham of Chiang Mai."

The man called Han Kaew stares at Commander Yai and Commander In with a challenging gaze, but he keeps his mouth shut next to the one called Han Lueang.

"I know who you are from the uniform. It's a pleasure to meet the soldiers of His Majesty King Kham in this place," replies Commander Yai, unfazed. "Did you happen to travel by, or do you have business with us?"

"We indeed have a business with you," answers Han Lueang, his smile turning sinister. 

"I am here to deliver the king's command to bring back Her Royal Highness Princess Amphan. Bring the princess to us, or we shall take Her Royal Highness by force."