I Feel You Linger In The Air

Chapter 23 - Even Sober, I'm Drunk like a Fool

I head to Commander Yai's tent with a chess set as told. I walk past the servants and soldiers gathering to play chess. Many of them ask me to join in, but I smile and decline. When I open the curtain door, Commander Yai is already waiting inside. He sits cross-legged on the reed mat. The lit lantern is set farther by his side. His swords lie on the head of his bed as they have always been.

"Sit," he orders.

I settle in front of him, leaving a big gap between us. Commander Yai fixes his keen eyes on me. It makes me drop my gaze to his chest, afraid to meet his eyes. Commander Yai's bare chest is brown from the sunlight. I flick my eyes to his arm. The tattoo from his shoulder that runs down to his wrist reminds me of the guardsmen in the reign of King Narai the Great. Even though Seehasingkorn doesn't submit to the Ayutthaya Kingdom right now, judging by the attire, accessories, and appliances, I think their culture is influenced by the surrounding countries. The way Thai culture has been influenced by several countries since ancient times, such as the Khmer, Mon, Laos, Myanmar, and even China and India.

"They said you played with stones."

"Chess," I say, "You can call it a chessboard since we're supposed to play on a board, as it is more comfortable to move the pieces. I use a piece of cloth because it's all I can find. Would you like me to explain the rules, Commander Yai?"

When he nods, I hurriedly position what I have brought. I roll out the chess cloth between us and arrange the white and black stones on opposite sides of the fabric. Sixteen stones each in line. Two rows in their positions on my side and Commander Yai's. My heart flutters when his lips curl up as I put a Knight down. I picked a long stone and painted the tip to resemble a knight.

"These stones must be divided by colours to mark the pieces of the two players. We call them chess pieces. They all look dissimilar due to their moves." I point at a stone. "This one is small and round. I call it a pawn. Each player has eight pawns. They move vertically forward one square like this."

I slide a pawn forward one square. Commander Yai nods quietly. I explain the rules and the moves of each piece. Pawns move vertically forward and capture one square diagonally. Rooks move horizontally or vertically any number of squares. Knights move in an L shape and can jump over other pieces. Queens move diagonally. Bishops move one space diagonally and one space forward. Kings move one square in any direction.

"Kings are the most important pieces, moving one square in any direction. You need to be careful because the kings are the equivalent of the supreme commanders. If the kings are captured, it means the supreme commanders are killed. No matter how many pieces you have left on the board, you lose," I say.

Commander Yai appears amazed by the rules. He studies each piece for a moment, then points out, "It's a military strategy."

"Right, as you said." I smile at him. "A brain exercise. Enriching your mind."

"You know of this?"

The way Commander Yai slightly narrows his eyes catches me off guard.

"Oh...Wait, Commander Yai," I pipe. "It's just a game..! I  mean, it's a play for entertainment. Please don't view it negatively and assume that I am a spy who is actually a military strategist or something like that. I don't possess such intelligence. I'm a mere commoner, and my city doesn't thirst for annexation!'

"I have not said a word. Why are you flustered?" Commander Yai sounds simultaneously amused and vexed.

"As to your intelligence, I learned of it when you stupidly charged towards the boar."

"Stupidly?" I repeat his word. "Stupidly or swiftly? Please state it clearly, Commander Yai."

"Stupidly," he stresses.

I stare at him, wanting to cuss, but the cat has gotten my tongue. A wave of emotions overflows in my chest. I feel hurt and upset. Does he have any idea I did it all for him?

"You're right," I snap at my pitiful self. "I'm stupid, as you said. Smart people wouldn't pull off something like that, would they?" He goes quiet for a moment and continues, "Why didn't you take the spear? Should I call you smart for doing what you did? Had those servants not shown up, would you have knocked the boar down by bumping into it?"

I press my lips together and dip my chin, not wanting to see his face. He has a point, but I don't want to listen to only the reprimand. Ever since I met him in this lifetime, he has never once spoken of me in a positive way. Commander Yai mumbles, "Your one good trait is your blind boldness."

I bob my head up.

"Right, I think you're brave," Commander Yai stresses and shakes his head wearily. "Now, quit making a face like you're going to cry. It irritates me."

I nod quickly, not knowing why his small compliment chases away more than half of my bitterness. I focus on the chess game before me and start it by letting him move first. 

I play casually as the experienced one, whereas Commander Yai takes his time to decide on each move longer than me. He is a quick learner. But since this is his first game, I have the upper hand.

"Oh...Oh, if you make such a reckless move, you'll lose your piece to me, Commander Yai." I capture his rook with my knight and place it a bit loud for satisfaction's sake...Hmm? Are you still going to call me stupid? Commander Yai grunts, annoyed to lose his rook. He touches his chin with his fingers and studies the pieces on the chess cloth more intently.

I grab the chance to observe his face. Commander Yai's eyelashes are thick and long. Too bad they aren't curled. Otherwise, his eyes will be more loving and sweeter. He will be a commander with pretty eyelashes. In all honesty, even if Commander Yai and Khun-Yai are similar, I notice subtle differences now that I am looking at his facial features up close. 

Commander Yai is sharply handsome. He has a clearly defined facial structure as a Thai man in the past, his nose long, his eyebrows bushy, his eyes keen and fierce. On the contrary, Khun-Yai's facial structure is more delicate, especially the eyes he got from Khun-Kae. They are clear and dreamily affectionate.

A while later, I cornered Commander Yai.

"Checkmate." I smile, closing his move with my knight. "I defeated you."

Commander Yai hums in his throat in admission while I have this smug grin on my face. He demands another round immediately, and I don't decline. There is not much to say. He has lost again in the second round because our experience is not on par. I

don't go easy on him at all. Why would I? He is better than me in almost all aspects regarding survival skills for this era. Let me have one thing to balance out his superiority.

In the third round, Commander Yai begins to get the hang of it. He is more prudent in fixing the situation, and we end the game with a tie, partly because of my carelessness. I got distracted many times. When the round is over, I decide to call it a day.

"Commander Yai, I feel sleepy," I tell him. "I will excuse myself to rest on my cart now."

Commander Yai frowns as if I said something wrong. He obviously wants to keep playing. 

"Why are you sleepy this soon?"

"I just am, Commander Yai. It's tiring to use your brain for a long time."I yawn and cast my eye on his bed, the thick mattress atop the carpet. "Or would you like me to keep playing until I fall asleep in here? Your call."

He answers without thinking. "Go and sleep in your cart."

I want to roll my eyes but hold back. Why is he so protective of himself? What can I do besides looking? If he could conceive of getting stared at, that would be a different story. I gather the pieces into the chess cloth and shift back. Before I exit through the curtain door, Commander Yai speaks.

"Wait."

I spin and see him sitting on the mattress. He clasps something in his hand and tosses it to me. I catch it and have a look. It is a ceramic bottle shaped like a tiny vase.

"An essential oil for sore muscles," he says.

Noting my confused expression, he resumes, "Apply it to where it aches."

My foolish face turns bright in an instant. I hold the ceramic bottle in my palm like a valuable object. "Cool. I mean, thank you so much, Commander Yai. I will use it well. I will keep rubbing and rubbing it on my body every day."

Commander Yai looks so done, as if he feels like he is talking to a crazy man, and he waves me away. Tonight, I sleep on the cart with Captain Mun as usual, my heart not as heavy as before. I don't think things will go smoothly and pleasantly like when I got swept into Khun-Yai's era, but I at least want this hope for my heart to hold on to.

On the following night, my chess set and I are requested to be present at Commander Yai's tent again. I bring a special feature with me this time. I have been thinking all day that it will help me gain more benefits from the situation, given that Commander Yai is not as experienced at playing chess as I am and has a chance of being defeated several rounds in a row.

It is liquor from Baan Thung Hin that I asked for from the supplies. My excuse was that I would serve it to Commander Yai. No...I'm not planning to get him drunk, as I have learned that he is a heavyweight. I simply want to lift his spirits and make him relaxed. It might break down the walls between us, and we can open our hearts to each other more.

Commander Yai is already waiting for me. He raises his eyebrow a little when he notices the bamboo tube of liquor in my hand. It's not fun if we only play chess. Let's make a bet," I say. "The loser drinks a shot."

Commander Yai glares at me as if to pierce through my skull and read my thoughts.

Scared, I mumble out, "Well..If you're not okay with it, we don't have to do it."

"Make it two," he says. "One shot is pointless."

Whoa...Okay.

I sit opposite Commander Yai, roll out the chess cloth, and arrange the pieces. I glance at him and pour the liquor into the shot glass beside the fabric to remind him of the loser's punishment.

The game starts with me. Commander Yai looks ready for the chess battle today. He no longer moves the pieces at random, as he did the other night. He is more discreet and better at reading the enemy's next moves, though he takes a long time at times. I peek at his face whenever chances arise. Look at him. adorably frowning. I want to massage his brow with my fingers to ease it, but I doubt I will get a good reaction.

"Hmm_Are you sure you're going to do that?" | tease him when he hesitates to move his piece. "Think wisely, Commander Yai. If you are careless or make a mistake, I will. capture you."

I crack a smug smile at my blatant flirtation. I have always wanted to do this, and just got a chance to do Yet, he can predict my move. He sacrifices his bishop to steer his king away from my piece. Commander Yai gazes up and grins, his eyes sparkling in the flickering lantern light. "I won't let you capture me so easily, Jom."

My heart falters like a leaf blown by the wind, but it is not the wind that blows my heart. It is his smile. I clear my throat to shake off this fluttering feeling and concentrate on something else.

"Your ring is beautiful. I've never seen a ring such as this one."

Commander Yai eyes his ring and turns back to the chess game. It is a ring with a lion-head case holding a misty white-grey gemstone between its fangs.

"I got it during the Ban Rahaeng battle. His Royal Highness Prince Seeharaj gifted it to me for achieving victory."

"Ban Rahaeng.." I mumble, thinking. "I don't know this city."

"Back then, I volunteered to be the captain of the breakthrough unit to fight against the Myanmar army that attempted to seize the cities along the way from Seehasingkorn to Ban Rahaeng. They hoped to annex the Tak Kingdom to the Ayutthaya Kingdom."

I halt, my eyes widening at the unexpected information. "Does Seehasingkorn border the Tak Kingdom?"

Commander Yai hums a response in his throat lightly, his eyes locked on the chess cloth, as excitement spreads all over my body.

"And...have you ever waged war against the Tak Kingdom?" I try to steady my voice. "Who is the ruler of the Tak Kingdom? Is it King Taksin?"

This time, Commander Yai raises his eyes at me. "I have not heard of that name. Though Seehasingkorn borders the Tak Kingdom, we have never waged war against each other. Maha Thammaracha of the Ayutthaya Kingdom has never attacked us either. Your question is rather odd. What do you know?"

..This is enough.

I suppress this surge of emotions in my chest. If the Tak Kingdom isn't yet ruled by King Taksin, and the king of Ayutthaya in this period is Maha Thammaracha, then I am in the Late Ayutthaya Period, years before the Ayutthaya Kingdom's second fall. I gulp and force a smile at Commander Yai to cover my suspicious behaviour.

"Nothing." I shake my head. "I suppose I got things mixed up. You know I'm from another land, not anywhere around here."Even if he is visibly doubtful, the topic is dismissed because I distract him with the chess game. It works. Now he needs to fight against my offence, like, if he so much as blinks, he will lose. The first round ends in a tie because I have not recovered from the discovery that the past world I travelled back to is a period. Commander Yai and I drink a shot each since no one wins.

I wince, remembering how strong the liquor is. Just a sip burned my throat. And now I'm down a shot. I try to pull myself together before playing the next round, with much success. I have not entirely lost my consciousness.

"Hold up," I shoot, noticing Commander Yai's piece has magically changed its place when it is not his turn.

"The piece was over there just now. Did you move it, Commander Yai?"

He refuses to admit, "Were your eyes playing tricks?"

"No," I object, confident. I was going to capture that piece, and it moved out of the blue. "I turned to scratch my arm, but when I turned back, it had changed its place. It definitely moved. I know it."

He rubs his nose suspiciously.

..Goodness, Commander Yai cheated!

"Whoa...Commander Yai, you can't just cheat outright like this," I cry out, unyielding. 

"You lost this round!"

"Be it, then. I don't mind." He tsks like it is no big deal. "In battle, Jom, listen, though you are taught a certain way, you can't be wholly faithful to it. If you aim for victory, you need to scheme."

..Unbelievable!

"Quit making excuses, Commander Yai! That is war. This is chess, something we play for fun. They're different, and you cheated. Drink four shots, or I will tell everyone you cheated!™

With that, I get on one knee to get up, cup my hands over my mouth, and shout out the curtain door,

"Everyone, everyone, listen. Commander Yai cheated at chess."

Commander Yai grabs me immediately. He yanks my body to his chest and covers my mouth with his hand. My eyes widen in shock. My temple touches his cheek, my back on his chest, while his arm tightens around me to keep me in place.

"Why in the world were you shouting that?" He forces his voice out and tilts his head down to talk to me, so close that my heart pounds. "All right, I will drink six shots for you, so shut your mouth."

I nod in agreement. Commander Yai withdraws his hand and arm. I place my hands on the ground, trying to breathe, and shift my body out of his embrace. My nose brushes Commander Yai's neck, and I just happen to inhale at the moment. I shamelessly sniff his neck, but it is instinctive, not planned. If I had a moment to think, I would restrain myself from doing it.

After smelling his scent for less than a minute, I go insane. I can no longer concentrate. Does Commander Yai use perfume distilled from cannabis leaves? Why does it overwhelm and captivate my heart so much? I can't even aim for a tie in this round, let alone corner him like in the previous game. As a result of being charmed by the scent of a warrior, I lost to Commander Yai in the second game and had to chug two shots as we bet. It doesn't benefit me in any way. I feel dizzy, and my vision is starting to blur.

I was totally defeated in the third round and drank another two shots. My consciousness floats like smoke, and I can only watch Commander Yai move his hand to walk his pieces without putting on the defensive. My pieces are continuously captured, and he will soon checkmate me.

"Jom, why don't you cleverly fix your moves?" Commander Yai puts on a mocking smile. "I'm waiting to see how you're going to capture my king."

I look at his face. How can someone be so attractive even when taunting? His lips are beautiful. His eyes are beautiful. I cast my eyes on his hands...How crazy. Even those big hands are beautiful. I gaze at Commander Yai's hands longingly, desiring to touch him the way I used to. Commander Yai is clueless that he is seducing me. I start breathing heavily, trying my absolute best to hold myself back. No...I’m at my limit! I grab his wrists. Commander Yai is startled and shakes my hands off right away.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" he bellows.

I won't give up. My determination is frighteningly strong. I lunge forward to clasp his wrists again, my knees landing on the chess cloth and knocking down the pieces. I try to grasp his arms, but Commander Yai pushes me off and stands up. My body falls down his waist to his legs. I hold his thigh tightly like a leech.

"Let go of my leg!"

"Nol", I shout, my eyes shut. "No matter if it's this lifetime or the next, I'll never let go of you!"

"What nonsense are you talking about?! What's with your damn lifetime?" He tries to shake me off but fails.

"I'm not crazy. I'm speaking the truth! Have you not been wondering why I already knew you when you had never met me? I'll tell you. We used to be together. You were my lover in another lifetime. Even though you don't remember me in this lifetime, I can't forget you. I love you..! I love you so much my heart is about to explode. Please don't be so mean to me, Commander Yai."

"Al-Jom, let go of me now."

"Love me first."

"Ugh! Damn you!"

At the last failed attempt to stay conscious, I think I am being dragged out of the tent. I hear people yelling. My body moves obediently to where 1 am hauled to, and then I completely black out.

In the morning, I opened my eyes on the luggage cart as I always did. I blink and squint in the sunlight so painfully that I need to rub my eyes with my hand to ease the discomfort. My head feels heavy, like a bunch of rocks is inside instead of a brain. When I force myself to raise my head, I jump. Captain Mun lies on his side with his head resting on his palm, staring at me.

"Ugh, Captain Man, you scared me." My voice is croaky due to my parched throat. My whole body is sore.

"Hmm." Captain Mun nods and hands me a bamboo water tube. "Drink this." I sip the water until I feel better and return the tube to him with thanks.

"You were drunk like a fool last night," says Captain Mun.

I avert my eyes in shame and attempt to clear my way through the pile of rocks in my head to recall what happened last night. I remember some situations when I played chess with Commander Yai. I recollect losing to him repeatedly and drinking shot after shot. What happened after that was in a blur because I was drunk. My heart sinks when I vaguely recall that I clung to Commander Yai's leg. I am not sure, though.

"And I..Ah, what did I do?"

"You blacked out and talked in your sleep. I had to carry you out of the commander's tent."

"Hmm...?" I suddenly feel sober. Did I get drunk, fall asleep during the game, and have a wild dream? It was embarrassing, but not as bad as what I am scared of. "I didn't say something strange while sleeping, did I, Captain Mun?"

"No." Captain Mun shakes his head. Oh..What a relief. I was scared.

"But before you were knocked out and had to be dragged out of Commander Yai's tent, I unmistakably heard, when the commander pried you off his leg and pushed you to me, you saying you loved him."

...This is a disaster.

My life is doomed...