Chem Chey: English Translation.
"Hia, my friend's callin'. Be right back," Akara said, frowning as his phone vibrated intensely in his pocket. Pulling it out to see who was calling on LINE, he glanced at Intha and asked for permission since the restaurant was too noisy for a proper conversation. Outside would be better.
"Sure. Is there anything you can't eat?" Intha asked kindly, sitting at the menu. Akara had barely sat down for a few minutes, and the hotpot stove hadn't even been turned on yet, given that the pot was still completely dry. It wouldn't be a problem if Akara stepped out for a bit to take the call.
"I can eat anythin'."
"How about vegetables?"
"Sure, bring a lot. I love them." Akara noticed a slight squint from Intha's gentle eyes. The taller man sighed and nodded, signalling Akara to go ahead. He'd handle the rest.
"Just a moment."
"It's fine. If I'm hungry, I'll start eating without you. But if you take too long, I'll just take a nap right here."
Hearing the casual 'it's fine' followed by such an odd statement, Akara smirked. Akara liked people like this. If they're hungry, they eat. If they're bored, they nap... so chill.
Since the restaurant was on the second floor, Akara's long legs carried him down the narrow staircase to the ground floor. He answered the call from his close friend, Narisa, and leaned against a quiet corner near the restaurant, one hand on his hip.
[Sup, bitch, where are you?]
"In hell. It's scorchin'."
[Be serious. You're in Taiwan now, right?]
"Yup."
[You're not just lying around in your room, are you? His friend's voice sounded overly concerned, making Akara roll his eyes.
"No, I've been up since mornin'. I even went to the temple to pray for a hubby."
[And? Did you get one yet?]
"Geez, how could it happen that fast? Anyway, why are you callin'? Is it urgent?"
[Just checking if you made it through immigration. You always look like someone who's about to be a whore.]
"Yup, I am. I already raised my price."
[You joke so much I'm starting to believe you're actually a whore.]
"The truth is, I'm givin' it away for free... Anyways, if there's nothin' else, I'm goin' back to my meal now."
[Why are you in such a hurry?]
"Welp..." Akara hesitated, biting his lip slightly. He wasn't sure whether to tell Narisa about Intha, but eventually he decided to share. "This mornin', I met this guy. He's Thai. I overheard him sayin' he was goin' to the temple, so I asked to tag along."
[Hmm...?]
"After we finished at the temple, he invited me to eat. So now I'm waitin' for the food he ordered."
[Hmm. he invited you to eat? Is he hitting on you? Is he hot?]
"Nah, he's not hittin' on me." Akara paused, thinking about Intha's face, and chuckled before trying to explain.
"He's attractive, though. Really handsome. But like... organic handsome, y'know? He looks clean, like pesticide-free... and he dresses sharp."
[Organic is good. Healthy. Just hope he's not fake organic, though.]
"Are you suggestin' I eat him?"
[You're praising him so much. Are you into him or not?]
"Nah, and I don't think he's into me either."
[And if he is?]
"If he's not good at fuckin' me, I'm out," Akara joked, laughin' loudly, which earned him a string of curses from Narisa on the other end.
[Fine. I hope you meet someone wild and skilled. I hope you get what you deserve.]
"Deserve what? A dickdown?"
[You don't have to be that blunt! Talking to you is exhausting. I can't tell if I'm talking to a bar owner or a whore. Anyway, my boss is looking at me... Check your Facebook later.]
With that, Narisa hung up. Akara was about to open his Facebook app when a LINE notification from Intha popped up instead.
'Intha the Temple Boy' had created a photo album titled Akara and the Colour of Misfortune.'
Before Akara could open the album, a chart of auspicious shirt colours followed. Today is Thursday. Lucky colour: Blue. Unlucky colour: Black. I'm wearin' black. This dude's callin' me unlucky. My friend is callin' me a bitch. Life's just dope here in Taipei. And now... has the temple boy turned into a full-on spiritual guru...? Sendin' lucky colour charts and shit?
Akara's slow steps turned into a jog up the stairs. Soon, he was back in his seat across from Intha, who was wearing a lucky blue shirt. The temple boy smiled once, broke apart a pair of chopsticks, and handed them to Akara.
"I have to hand it to you for namin' that photo album. Sure, my shirt's black, but it's authentic. Thirteen thousand baht."
"Thirteen thousand or not, if the colour's ill-starred, you won't be prosperous."
"Are you for real, Hia. Seriously? Shirt colours?" Akara's face still showed disbelief, but he reached out his tattooed hand to take the chopsticks without hesitation. His eyes scanned the beautifully arranged food on the table. His mouth watered. It was time for a feast. "Looks delicious. I'm starvin'."
"Do you want to take a picture first?"
"Are you tellin' me you set this up just for photos?"
"Yeah. Or you can use the ones I already took." Intha confirmed by swiping his phone screen to show Akara the photos he'd taken, just as the pot began to bubble. The pot was divided into two sections-one with fiery red mala broth and the other with a clear soup overflowing with vegetables.
"I'll use yours. Send them to me. Can I eat now? Put some veggies in the mala broth for me."
"No."
"I'm an environmentalist. I love trees. I don't eat veggies. Just separate pots." Intha pushed Akara's hand away as he tried to drop vegetables into the pot. Intha leaned in, staring into the other's eyes, and Akara leaned in to meet his gaze.
It was like electricity crackled between their eyes. Neither blinked. Intha's eyes were tense, and so were Akara's.
"I'm only eatin' mala. With vegetables."
"Nope."
"Then why didn't you order two mala broths from the start?"
"You didn't look like someone who eats spicy food, so I ordered two kinds."
"Don't judge a book by its cover. Your face looks like someone who loves organic vegetables..."
"I said what I said... Hey, have you heard the theory that if you stare into someone's eyes for eight seconds, you'll fall in love?" Intha suddenly changed the subject, still not breaking eye contact.
"I've heard of it."
"Do you think it's true?"
"What do you think? It's been way more than eight seconds now," Akara retorted.
".."
Intha's eyes remained locked, but his hands clenched tightly. He was struggling… Finally, the temple boy said, "Let's see. Whoever looks away first loses."
"Alright. So, what's your answer? True or not?"
"Probably true... I give up. My eyes hurt. How do you not blink at all?" Intha leaned back against the soft chair, blinking rapidly and rubbing his eyes. Akara stopped playing around and blinked, causing clear tears to roll down his cheeks. His eyes were red, and his vision blurred.
"Never doin' that again..."
A tissue came to dab away the tears. Akara froze. The temple boy's touch was gentle, wiping away the tears from their silly game. His gaze was soft. They accidentally locked eyes again. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... 8.
"Eung... Eung."
"What?" Akara jolted when the other man called him firmly. He rubbed his neck and looked away.
"What were you daydreaming about?"
"Nothin'."
"You can eat now. If you want to add vegetables, go ahead, but no more than ten pieces."
"I won't add any. I'm just gonna eat from this pot."
"I lost the staring contest, so I should let you have your way." Intha raised a curious eyebrow, stopping Akara's hand as he tried to add a small piece of vegetable.
"I know I'm not the centre of the universe. When eatin' with others, I shouldn't be selfish. For losin' the starin' contest, just take me somewhere fun to make up for it."
"Fair enough." Intha gently pulled his hand away and gripped his chopsticks. "Watch this. I'll teach you the proper way to eat hotpot."
He smiled widely, glancing at Akara. His white teeth bit his lower lip as he demonstrated. He picked up a thin slice of meat.
"The broth temperature has to be just right, not too boiling, just hot enough. Then, you dip the meat and swirl it until it's cooked." Intha followed his own instructions, with Akara watching curiously. Soon, the bright red meat turned cooked. Intha placed it on Akara's plate. "Try it."
"If I eat like this, I'll never get full.." the younger complained, but still picked up the meat and ate it. He immediately exclaimed, "Damn, this is unequivocally fuckin' bussin!"
"Right?"
"And what are you doin' just now?"
"Art is art, but I'm starving. Let's eat like normal humans." Intha dumped several trays of meat into both sides of the pot equally. "I just wanted to show you. That's all." Akara laughed, swirling a piece of meat and offering it back to Intha.
"Do you know you're a weirdo, Hia?"
"I know."
"But you're charmin"."
"And do you know you're also weird?"
"How?"
"Not telling."
Akara shook his head, deciding not to press further. He watched Intha eat politely, but noticed he took only a few bites before standing up. "What do you want to drink?"
"I can get it myself."
"Heh." Intha shook his head, his bangs shifting slightly. He smiled again, showing his white teeth. "I told you, I like taking care of people."
"Am I worth takin' care of?" Akara pointed at himself, smiling back sincerely.
"Yes, because you're dowdy."
"If I'm dowdy, doesn't that make you dorky?"
"Dorky? It's called style. Now, hurry up. What do you want to drink? Beer? It's bland, though."
"Sure, I'll give it a try. Thanks." Akara raised his thick eyebrows playfully at Intha, who was walking away.
Left alone at the table, he suddenly remembered Narisa's reminder to check his Facebook. Unlocking his phone, Akara quickly opened the app. His personal account didn't have many friends, so his ex's notification stood out.
His tattooed hand clenched into a fist so tightly it hurt. Akara's face darkened with tension, catching the attention of Intha, who'd just returned to the table. He noticed Akara's sharp eyes glistening with unshed tears. They didn't fall, but the redness around his eyes was unmistakable.
"Can I tell you somethin", Hia?"
"Yeah, go ahead." Intha sat back down across from him, casually taking Akara's phone from his hand and placing it face down on the table. He continued eating quietly, not pressuring the troubled man to speak. Once Akara steadied his emotions, he began.
"Three years ago, my boyfriend and I decided to open a bar together. We started small. I poured everythin' into it, worked so hard I barely had time to rest... worked until the bar became well-known and gained more customers. Last month, I decided to expand the place. Then I found out he brought someone else to sleep in my bed."
"Then you should bring someone else to sleep in his bed, too."
"Ughhhh, we've already broken up!" Akara's miserable expression lightened slightly as Intha shoved a piece of meat into his mouth.
Chewing aggressively, Akara vented his frustration. After swallowing, he continued, "I broke up with him. This time, it's final. He pulled his shares out of the bar. Today, he went and took down the bar's sign and posted an announcement that The Crowd Bar is movin' to a new location. His bar, with his new wifey... what a dick head."
"Yeah, that's a total dick head."
"People always say, 'Choose the wrong partner, and you'll regret it for life.' Welp... good luck to him. Frankly, he has no idea what to do. I did all the work before. Just talkin' about it pisses me off."
"Don't cry here, or people will think I got you pregnant and won't take responsibility."
"Ugh, you're makin' my uterus hurt."
"You don't have a uterus."
"I do. I'm sensitive right now. It's my time of the month."
"Ah, so you're on the rag. Guess I'll have to spoil you a whole lot more."
"Let's be serious first. We can go buy tampons later." Akara tapped his finger on Intha's lips to refocus the conversation. "Forget about the jerkass ex. What's stressin' me out is the bar expansion. I need money. I was a dumbass. I trusted him. I gave him all the cash because I cared about him. Now I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I'll get approved for a loan."
"Money... that's a tough one," Intha sighed deeply, stopping his attempts to cheer Akara up with more meat. He set down his chopsticks and spoon, pushing his bangs back with one hand. "But I have money."
"Let me tell you something. Listen carefully." Intha was prepared to share his story, gesturing with his hands. "Honestly, this story would be better told in a bar, not over a hotpot."
"Just tell me. I wanna know. Don't leave me hangin'"
"Alright, so I was dating this woman for a while. It was serious enough that we were planning to get married. I knew her family didn't like me, but I tried to change everything about myself. I worked hard, saved up for the dowry they demanded, which was ridiculously high... but in the end, it all fell apart because she cheated on me. Do you know what she said? She said I worked so much I didn't have time for her... so she chose someone else."
"Shit, that's even more dramatic than my story," Akara said, picking up a piece of meat from the pot and offering it to Intha. His lips twitched at the absurdity of the tale, but Inta's expression remained stoic, with a brief flash of anger in his eyes.
"It wasn't even about me not having time. That was just an excuse. Her new guy? My boss. He's richer, has a higher position, and her family likes him more than they ever liked me."
"And what about dick, who's bigger?"
"Let me check real quick." Without missing a beat, Intha adjusted his posture and pretended to reach into his pants, all while maintaining eye contact with Akara.
"Hia! You're not some religious devotee anymore! You've ruined the vibe!!!"
"I'm just not sure if I'm bigger, but I'd say I'm about an eight, maybe almost a nine inch. Should be enough to leave an impression."
"Sinful. Completely sinful," Akara muttered, narrowing his eyes and shaking his head to cool the heat rising in his cheeks.
I'm shocked... The composed dude from the temple, please give me back the good impression I had of you when we first met.
"The monk's bag has lost its sanctity. I know it, I see it, I've learned it. You're a sinner... so scary."
"I was just joking. Where was I just now? I totally forgot."
"Her fam."
"Right. After she broke up with me, she married him immediately. No idea how much the dowry was... As for me, I punched that old geezer in the face and got fired. Now I'm blacklisted. Finding a new job is going to be tough."
"I've got the perfect name for this trip: Two cucked dudes roamin' confusedly and bumpin' into each other in Taipei."
"Sick name, now all we miss is a cuck chair."
"I hate myself for immediately knowin' what a cuck chair is."
"See? We're on the same wavelength. Anyway, about the money. I have ten million baht. It was supposed to be for the dowry, but now I don't know what to do with it."
"Do people who have just met flex their financial status like this?" Akara pointed at Intha, then pulled out a zippered pouch and placed it on the table, jokingly showing off his own money. "Right now, I've got three thousand. But as soon as I get back to Thailand, I'll be in debt. My finances are in the red... I'm broke."
He slumped forward, resting his forehead on the table, completely still, like a dead man.
"I'm not trying to flex. I'm just asking if I can take over your bar. I want to start a business."
"I'm not sellin'."
"....Figured as much."
"But if you see the bar and are okay with bein' a partner, I'll draft a contract and send it to you to sign."
"Alright, send it over."
"No rush to decide."
"I've seen the location and the reviews on your page. I think the bar has potential. It's worth investing in, and you're worth investing in, too."
"We'll talk about the bar when we're back in Thailand."
"No problem. I've already thought of a new name for the bar," Intha said with a smile, locking eyes with Akara as he slowly lifted his head.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... 8.
Eight seconds. Worth it and worth investing in.